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DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU ARE TOLD ONLINE

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Posted 9/12/2011 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
Last night I intervened in the alleged impeding suicide of a hw member.

Anyway the fear of my "friend" dying, triggered my PTSD, my BPD and my BIPOLAR. I was in a state. I went into chat and soon after a friend came in - and then very selfish individual came in. I was trying to talk to my friend about my upset but this other person was so insensitive that I decided to leave the room with a parting remark and went back after they had left.

It was later, during the night that I discovered that my "friend" wasn't who they said they were - and everything was likely a lie. The police advised that the person who this person said they were did not exist. Not just did their name, date of birth not check out, neither did any of the legal details that they had suckered me into believing.

This person gave me soooooooo much "information" about themselves and had me believing they were who they said they were. I thought we had a close friendship.

Can't be too careful when trusting people in real life - more so on line.

The site has this individuals ip address, it would prolly come under meeting duty of care if that ip address was forwarded to the police, so the police can work out the true risk level of this individual.

Isn't Healing Well is about healing well??? Not about lies, deception, betrayal, (oh and downright rudeness). How about the minority of people who are harmful lift their game - just a little!!! Be a bit more thoughtful to those of us who are actually taking the hard steps to healing. Don't try to drag us down with you!
Posted 9/12/2011 10:00 AM (GMT 0)
Living Well, Sadly people are just plain nasty and will do anything at times. I tried chat years ago and quickly concluded it was the best way to start a fight, get upset or worse. I only use email between people I don't know and I, or forums like this. I figured that if I did get angry etc, which sure does happen, then using email and forums gives me the chance to tone it down or just not bother. The bottom line is none of us can trust anyone on the internet, ever. We take limited risks using a site such as this but never use real data. If you do then you invite ID theft and worse. IE you are advertising yourself for whoever chooses to take that data and use it.

This is actually the current advice by the Chief of the Fraud Squad where I live. His words? "Never use real data". If you get to know someone you still don't really know them do you? Whoever that was  is sick, big time. Stay away from chat and set up an email account you can abandon to email with people you know online, or rather, don't know.

Why would this idiot fake suicide? People threaten it all the time in real life and some depression forums have nearly every "Urgent" post as someone making the threat. It is good it is cut out here as much as possible but they can't stop people in chat can they?

So sorry they did this to you, it's so "Facebook" if you've been there. Even they are now looking for photo ID. Risky strategy.

I have to say that most people in forums do not tell the truth in many ways. What you read is not what you get. I've learnt to read between the lines and you might say profile people and stay away from those I know are a risk. It's an old work habit actually, business analyst. You believe nothing at the start of each task and establish the facts yourself. Else it doesn't work.

If you can, forget them. They are nothing, nobody and have run away apparently. That right? Then just move on and deal with those you do know or trust here. Which is most of us. I hope this post came out allright to you. I'm suffering badly and am really distracted and have taken ages to write this. I just had to reply to you when I saw zero replies.

Posted 9/12/2011 10:17 AM (GMT 0)
geez lw. with much healing compassion to you. jamie
Posted 9/12/2011 10:53 AM (GMT 0)
You made me laugh when you said "I just had to reply when I saw zero replies". I do the same thing, but only if I feel like responding of course. What you say about holding 'versions' lightly until backed up by evidence is so true and is brilliant and very welcomed advice. I give people the benefit of the doubt far too much and I'm learning to grow in this area. A few more clips around the ear; I might have learnt my lesson. Another lesson I am learn with borderline p.d. is not having it get me out of kilter so much. I am recovering a lot quicker than I did a few years back. And I am even more discerning than I was a few years back. It's my area of learning and I keep chipping away at it; improving year by year. I'm working on developing my friendships in real life; but again true friendship takes a while to develop, but it is worth the effort and time. I found your post easy to follow and that you compiled it despite being in a tough spot yourself, makes it even more special (yes, I will believe you lol). Thanks for your response. Have a nice day :)
Posted 9/12/2011 2:31 PM (GMT 0)
Living Well,

Do you remember the name of the poster? I can report themn to Peter if you wish. Or you can. It isn't tolerateed here. Though it is harder to stop in chat. You are a good person and don't let this person get to you. You are kind and helpful. Don't let this change you. I know that it hurts. I don't go to chat very much myself, not really into it.

Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/12/2011 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry to hear this happened LW, life is hard enough without others playing on your emotions as well, I agree with Karen, don't let this stop you from helping others when you can.

Have you managed to 're-centre' yourself again after this set things off for you?
Posted 9/12/2011 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
LivingWell, Glad you got a laugh, it's important to do so anytime we can or should. Life isn't as serious as we feel it is I know but sometimes it does just dominate our other emotions. I too do try to trust initially but on the internet? No, a depression forum is usually where you get closest to truth from real people but elsewhere? Trust must be earnt. I'm glad you do trust as that indicates hope and that alone is what can get us through the worst times. Hope that is. Don't let them change you, just be aware is all. If they suck you in just say "Ahhh, well. If they want to play games they have a bigger problem than me." Yeah, real life friendship is a work in progress. Most I had seem to have faded away because of my wife's depression but they were never as important as she was. If they can't deal with that then what sort of friend were they anyway?

Thanks for your kind words. Even when I read what I've written and think about it, right now I'm just uncertain if it will make sense to others. Wish I had another laugh for you but it's still easy to laugh when we need to.

Had a few thoughts about what that person did and if any crime was committed. Faking suicide isn't a crime and nor is being anonymous so I'm wondering if it's worth your while pursuing it. If the person is still around then do it but if they've run away what is there to gain? Police won't do anything unless there's some real fraud (money, property etc) will they? I don't know, maybe passing on the IP address will help build a profile of the person who did it. Maybe they keep doing similar things and will have their name put on one of "those" lists.

Posted 9/12/2011 11:41 PM (GMT 0)
Oh my LW,

That was pretty cruel. However, you did what you thought was right. One day it may be a person that really needs you. Keep being the person you are. Compassionate and caring. Hope you bounce back quickly from that shake up. One of the things I really appreciate here is that even though we all go through things and sometimes the other persons pain also pains us, we continue to support one another. That is special.
Posted 9/13/2011 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Guys,

Thanks for your replies. Yes, the police are interested in this person. A police investigation is underway. I have given Peter all the information including police case number so he can assist police if he chooses to.

Yes, it is a shake up but not something I will let impact on me any more than it has to. I'm moving through those feelings quickly while also focussing my attention on more positive, worthy things.

Jade x
Posted 9/13/2011 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
LivingWell, Good. Let's hope they pin the person down on something, maybe a collective harassment or whatever. There are too many laws for me to know what's possible. Glad to hear you are able to leave it behind. Truly it's just rubbish isn't it? Once you get over the nastiness that is.
Posted 9/13/2011 5:49 AM (GMT 0)
Oh it's not an issue of harrassment. It's not even the issue of misrepresentation that the police are interested in. It's that this person is very sick (probably both physically and mentally) and has been making some very serious legal allegations, which the police want to investigate, to establish their veracity. Also if this person is as close to death from physical causes as they allude to; the police can intervene and arrange necessary health care.

Yes, what this person did to many of us at hw is unfortunate but it is hardly a police matter.

What this person is alleging very much is - and any information will help police.

Cheers, Jade x
Posted 9/13/2011 6:30 AM (GMT 0)
Jade, Wow. That's truly scary and it's interesting the Police want to pursue that. I know where I live, in real life they will generally just ignore complaints unless someone is being threatened by a weapon. <ust be a lot done to get this level of interest. Let's hope they stay right away, yeah? Good wishes etc. Back to the never mundane battle with depression etc.
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