Where do I go from here?

So before I had my counseling appointments set up and I got to see them just once before everything began to fall apart piece by piece. First I got sick with a fever of 104.5F went to the hospital and ended up being admitted because of preterm labor. Yes right now I'm about 30 weeks along but now I have strict bedrest but due to events after that none of it makes a difference. Two days ago my family and I were in a car accident and although the cars themselves suffered the most.. its now put us without a car. No one is really willing to help right now or have other obligations like work or whatever reasons. I understand but now I can't go and see my counselor or psychiatrist. I've already cancelled my appointment for tomorrow due to lack of transportation and I'm feeling as if I should eliminate the other 2 coming as well. I need them so badly right now especially after the effect the accident had on my mental state. Like seeing the other car come at me over and over plus being afraid to really ride in a car period. My boyfriend right now is just as bad off mentally as I am and isn't helping by saying things like he is thinking of doing something stupid to fix money situations since he can't help with that or my mental state. Right now I don't feel as I have anyone in the world I can ask for help. I feel as if my planned pregnancy was a mistake or that I'm no good for even wishing the baby I wanted so much didn't exist. Even if I still want to be with her and hold her in my arms at last it doesn't over rule the fact that my mind continues to harbor negative thoughts against her. I can push those thoughts away but as for my life.. If I can't get the help so desperately want and need, everything is just going to crumble. My body is already aching from the stress of the situation itself. My chest hurts all the time even now but my heart is assumed healthy(due to recent check ups) and the headaches they don't go away for long anymore. I already feel like a failure for my body not wanting to continue this pregnancy as is. I just feel like its all my fault.. everything. I just can't fix it but death is not an option but I just don't know what else to do. I just wanted someone to understand and guide me in the right direction. That's all I needed besides for my baby to make it here without complications. But now here I stand asking myself where do I go from here?

I wish I could ask him to do that but seeing as he told me he was not responsible for getting me where I need to go, I have no one. He said because I was a grown woman I should do it myself. It kind of leaves me by myself in this without his support. I guess it just seems as if I'm out of options and that all I have is hope that maybe some idea will come to mind or some miracle will happen.

Sometimes I wish I could just make it go away but in life there's no off switch to problems.

Talk to your counselor and explain the situation, how you are feeling, etc. Your counselor may be aware of resources or have options available that you don't know about.

I know some of the counselors at our county mental health department will do in home counseling and/or counseling over the phone in cases where their client can not make it into the office. Sometimes they will even go and pick the person up and bring them to the office and take them back home or know of someone who is willing to do it to help out, like another patient/client and they just schedule both appointment back to back. There are a lot of things that I know they have done. There are usually options, which is my whole point.

If worse comes to worse and things start getting really bad and you start having some really harmful thoughts you might even want to consider checking yourself into the hospital to get the help you need.

Anyway start with talking to your counselor about options and if you strike out there then call your local public assistance office. You can also try places like the Salvation Army, public health department, etc.