feeling really lost and alone.. :(

i'm not really sure what to do.
i've been feeling really depressed for a long while. i'm 20 years old, and female.

part one; i really want to talk to someone, but i'm scared to death that they will instantly judge me, or talk to family members about it.
how do i bring up that i have depression? i have a specific best friend i would tell.
all i want to get out of telling her is that she'll finally understand what's keeping me down, and that it's not because i'm mad at her, etc. and maybe i can start telling her everything i've been wanting to.

part two; i want to talk to a therapist too. how do i go about this? i don't have any insurance or the money to pay for one. what do you suggest?

anyways, i'm just really lost and alone and could really use your help. thank you!!

Hi Lilpumpkin,

For starters, welcome to the forums. I'm sure that your friend may understand what depression is, a large % of people have depression and may not be of any shock to her. I'm not sure whether America has any sort of bulk billing like we do here in Australia, so hopefully someone else can fill you in on that.

Feel welcome to explain your depression and where you may think it had been brought on, we are most defenitely not here to judge you as we are also on these forums for a reason also.
I personally have been depressed over the poor quality life I've been living for the past 10 years and some stuff I'm still not willing to share with people as it's far too indepth and I feel it would only make me feel worse.

Anyway, I think you need to see some sort of therapist and in some cases your GP may be able to help out, although they aren't experts on this sort of stuff and sometimes throw medications at you when sometimes it not the best thing to do.

I personally think a psychologist or a psychiatrist is advisable and in some cases people only need to seek counselling. I'm no expert on this and if you wait a little bit longer, I'm sure someone will post more valuable information than what I've told you.

Hang in there,

David.

Hi.  Im 20 years old too and have battled depression for the last couple years--since starting college.  Last year they re-diagonosed me with bipolar disorder and thats why the anti-depressants werent working.

When I first became really depressed I didn't want to go to a doctor or a therapist because I figured that they wouldn't know anything about how I was feeling and they wouldn't be able to help me.  I didn't tell anyone how I was feeling for months. 

I have a really close best friend too and when I finally told her about how I felt, she was really great about it and she provided me with an outlet for many of my feelings.  She was eventually able to convince me to go to the psychiatrist, and eventually, a therapist and I'm really glad she did because they have really helped.

Try talking to your friend.  I think that she will really be able to help you.  Even if she doesn't know anything about depression, she knows you.  Being able to talk to someone who already knows everything about you and loves you really helps you feel more accepted and you are then better able to get the help that you need.

I don't know if you go to college or not, but at my school, they offer free therapy and psychiatry to students.  If you do go to school then you should check with the Student Health Offices and they may be able to help you out.

If you ever need anyone to talk to then you can e-mail me if you'd like.  I'm pretty sure that my e-mail address is on my profile page.

Hang in there.  It may seem horrible now, but it is possible to get over this if you put a little effort into it.  I hope you start feeling better :)