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Posted 10/12/2011 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
I am once again in the hospital in Cleveland and I dont think I will ever make it out of this.  My court date went ok and the judge gave me 30 days in order to obtain public defense since I have no money.  I think that he understand that there was too much for him to make a judgement against and told me that my frame of mind was not able to make any decisions that day.  My mom says that she took it as  a positive note so on November 9 I will go back. 

 

I came in for my ketamine treatment suicidal so they kept me.  I am so lonely here and feel so broke inside that I can barely go without crying every minute of every day.

 

I just wish I had a visitor once and awhile.

Posted 10/12/2011 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hope everything works out in Nov. Right now focus on getting well. Are the treatments still helping, (beyond the circumstantial things that are knocking you around right now)?
Posted 10/13/2011 1:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Teresa,

I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time., I know that you are probably really frustrated right now, but maybe this hospital stay will be good for you. Maybe they can find something that will finally help you.

Keep coming here if you are lonely, we are all here for you. Remember that. Keep posting and know that we care. I really hope that you feel better soon. Keep the faith...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/13/2011 4:07 AM (GMT 0)
sending many healing compassionate prayers attached with millions of hugs. jamie
Posted 10/13/2011 12:12 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry you are doing so poorly. The judge seemed to know what was going on, so good for you.

I had been researching ketamine for me, but it does not seem to be helping you and I am so sorry. I had high hopes for you. Please hangin there. I know how tough it can be day by day but we have to fight eery step of the way...hang in there..be assertive in your treatment. When I went to hospital I'd try one med and if it didn't work, they would change up right away. SThe shrink just kept trying with different classes of drugs to find the right combo, and at least I got a few months good time.

You are in my prayers that you will fiind relief

Maggie
Posted 10/13/2011 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
Many many Prayers being sent to you, please know we do care...
thinking of you...
Posted 10/14/2011 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
I am so happy to have so many caring people here.  What would I do without you guys, I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!!!!
Posted 10/14/2011 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
We love you so much too. I am glad you are a part of this group. How are you doing? Are things getting any better? I sure do hope so. How are the treatments going? Let us know.

We have had a beautiful autumn, but the rains are coming and that is dreary, but I will be baking, because it is so much cooler. I made lazagna today it turned out good. It was an all day afair. lol...

Keep us posted please Teresa. We always love hearing from you...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/14/2011 7:38 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Teresa, is the ketamine making any difference for you? How many treatmants?


I am sorry you r in hosp but when I want to cry continuously, I think I need that hospital just for a safety measure.I am glad you are there right now.

Life will get better...I promise...take care

Maggie
Posted 10/14/2011 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
My ketamine is going ok actually they did back-back treatments and then I will have a treatment on Monday then released on

Tuesday.  My mom is leaving Sunday so now I have to figure out a way home again.  Back to that lonely old house without driving priveles.  I am so afraid that I will get so depressed at home that it wont be well.

 

I just wish I had someone to help me through this just someone for a couple weeks someone who really cares.  I burned all those bridges with stupity and depression.

Posted 10/14/2011 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
Know that we are here to help you through Teresa. Though you burned some bridges, you still have more to cross. You will find a way to get around, I am sure of that. Make yourself go for walks. Don't give up, and Don't project depression in the future. You may be surprised at how good you are actually going to feel.

Do you have anything nearby such as the library, or a coffee shop? Somewhere that you can go that is close to home where you may meet some friends. What about your girlfriend, or does she live too far away? The one that dropped your laptop? Maybe you are afraid of a repeat. lol... I know you must have been really bummed when that happened... I remember it.

Anyhow, keep trying. Keep posting here. We will try to help you get through. I am sorry that you can't drive. How long will it be???

Take care sweetie, know how much you mean to us...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/14/2011 9:55 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe a kitty, maybe a few plants or yes library or book store, church and don't forget us.

Maggie
Posted 10/15/2011 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
We are here for sure. When I feel myself spinning and about to lose control, I come here. It's wonderful to have people that care.
Posted 10/15/2011 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
here for you teresa. luv jamie
Posted 10/15/2011 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
Happy Sweetest Day Everyone.  Still In the hospital but I feel a little better.

 

Miss spending sweetest day with someone I love.

Posted 10/15/2011 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
My gosh, I didn't even realize that it was sweetest day. Thanks Teresa.

I think I should of gotten a box of chocolates or something. I bet that he didn't realize either... My first husband died on sweetest day in 2000, on the 21st. So that memory will be coming up in less than a week. Oh well, I just try to remember the good times. Not think about the bad. He died from lung cancer.

Teresa, I am so glad that you posted. I hope that this means that you are feeling better. You deserve that so much.

Take care and keep us posted.

Happy Sweetest Day to you...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/17/2011 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hope you had a good day today Faith and that you will be going home soon. Hang in there...... one day at a time.

Suzane
Posted 10/18/2011 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
Well, its official I am going home tomorrow after my ketamine treatment.  Got a call from the repair shop and my car needs brakes too so that will have to wait.  Nothing like driving a suspended and unsafe car.

 

I am dreading going back to my house where I have no transportation to go anywhere but walking distance.  They want to put me in an outpatient therapy group but it would be a long walk to Canton. 

 

Just tired, I should be excited about going home but I feel even more lonely.

Posted 10/18/2011 9:22 PM (GMT 0)
How long is your liscence suspended for Teresa? I Hope it isn't a long time. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I am glad that you are going home tomorrow. It wont be as bad as you think. You can make it better. Can you take a bus to your outpatient therapy? Or a cab? You really should try to find a way to go if you can. It would be good for you.

You know you have us so don't hesitate to come here and post when you are lonely. We are always here for you.

Take care Teresa. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/18/2011 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Happy Homecoming!!! Make your self a nice meal, put clean sheets on the bed, put your comfiest jammies on and curl up and watch something silly on tv...you are home!!!

Maggie
Posted 10/19/2011 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Well I am still here at the hospital, after a all night  watch which was not necessary.  My son turned 11 today and I really miss him.

 

Well not much more to say.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/19/2011 5:45:53 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/19/2011 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Teresa,

I am sorry that you weren't able to be with your son. But getting better is important right now. And you can make up for it another time. Try to cheer up hon. Know that we are all here for you. Keep posting and we will keep you company.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/5/2011 4:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all~

sorry I havent been in touch but between aultman hospital for counseling and cleveland clinic for my ketamine.I have my court pretrial on the 9th so we will see what punishment I will get.  Just seems like everything is not changing for me although I am really trying to cope.  I have been without my license since 9-25 so I have been more or less house bound for 2 months.

 

I will lwt you know.

Posted 11/5/2011 5:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Teresa,

Do let us know how things go. I am sorry that this happened to you. Being without a driver's liscense. But that is something you can't change now, so you have to work around it. Keep trying. Do the beste that you can. We are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/6/2011 7:23 AM (GMT 0)
here for you. with much healing compassion to ya teresa. jamie
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