I want to respond to 1 phrase that you wrote, and hope I didn't misunderstand what you were saying. You said you don't like thinking about
going back to work full time. Drawing from my own experience I think I know the feeling you are describing, one of preferred resignation. Depression is an evil seductress. After a while it starts feeling comfortable in it's misery, and the thought of coming out of it feels intimidating. I knew that when I came out I'd have to expend effort again that was either impossible or nearly so in my depressed state.
Have you ever read the chronicles of narnia by c.s. lewis? The movies are ok, but the books far far better. In the book "the silver chair" there is a scene that is very descript
ive of what it's like trying to battle depression. All the while I tried to fight against depression, it was at the same time lulling me into sleep, making me want to do nothing but wallow in my misery and even enjoy feeling justified in doing absolutely nothing. I was terrified when they released me from the hospital. The outside world had become foreign to me and I had to somehow rejoin it. Depression is incapacitating and the last thing I want to do is imply that a person suffering depression can "pull himself up by the bootstraps". Recovery is a partnership between the individual and competent counsel and often medication.
I digress. Anyway, I recommend reading "the silver chair". Here is a link to a site that has the very section I think looks very much like battling depression.
cslewisjrrtolkien.classicalautographs.com/cslewis/bookexcerpts/silverchair.htmlIf you haven't read the book the names will be peculiar and the characters difficult to understand, but even without that prior understanding I think the message will still be understandable.