My Life, By Beagleman... continued...

Hello Karen, thanks for your support, and your advice. Ok, I will tell you one thing, the worst thing in my life so far has been my depression, not nerve pain, not paxil withdrawal, nothing in my life has come close to the misery of depression. I know I will have side effects, some with a lot of discomfort, but I am in a mind set that I can achieve anything if i try. I guess the only question that remains is when I will achieve this goal. I am now on the second day, dropped from 150mg to 75mg, feeling ok, so far just a headache is the only symptons.

I will see flora on the weekend and tell her about my medications and she will understand, I already have some improvement in lidido since reducing my effexor. My doctor told me i must stay on the avanza which has little side effects.

Hello karen, firstly coming off the effexor not many symptons physically but I have had a few bouts of bad depression and also mood swings, laughing and crying, and i know I have to apologise to someone because my moods were bad today. I am hoping my moods dont get worse as it is distressing at times.

I went out with Flora tonight and we first went out for dinner. It was a good night, we went to a restaurant, shared a bottle of wine, we had T-bone steak, with a pepper sauce, baked potatoes, onion rings. It doesn't sound much but the steaks were very big and juicy, it was wonderful. After the meal we went to a movie, the decendent - george clooney, we enjoyed the movie and then went for coffee. Flora makes me very happy, thanks Karen for your support and I dont think I will ever want to stop being in love.

Today I am feeling a bit dizzy, this is the second day where I have taken no effexor, I feel happy in my head, I will also mention last night going out with Flora I had about 5 glasses of wine, I have to say the alcohol effected me more than usual, I think this is due to my withdrawal from effexor.I like my positive attitude now, I now look for the good in myself and others and it is a way of thinking that is rewarding and very hoopeful.

It was a very good date last night with Flora. She mentioned she has had some trouble with her ex calling her but has now decided to ignore his calls. She is busy this weekend doing a course and will take up a position in teaching chemistry. Flora has taught me alot about how to enjoy your life and she makes me very happy and I think I make her very happy. I know I still have some self doubt, as time goes on my self esteem will shift up and I will even be happier which sounds too good to be true but I believe this.

Beagleman....I am so happy that things in your life are going well. Flora sounds like a lovely lady and you sound like you really enjoy each others company. I wish you all the best. Keep posting I find you very encouraging.


Take care, Amy

keep strong mate. here for you. jamie.

Hi Karen, I have tried viagra, in the laeger dose 100mg it is beneficial. I will try it again soon just to see if it is working better. Flora seems patient and is willing to wait. I have purchased a nice watch for her for vanentines day and also a nice paperweight with my own personal message on it. Some of the lines go, we met at coogeebay on friday the 13, my love is so strong I cannot explain, once in a life time you meet your true love, I cant remember but I will get this paperwight before valentines day.

Thanks karen for again my best online friend, I go on facebook and conect with friends there but I do not fully disclose my depression or distress to others and I am just starting to share with others my relationship with Flora, I am still secretive but now I have shared this with my parents, sister and 1 work friend. It has been hard for me to share any positives but slowly I am starting to feel deserving of hapiness and friendships.

I am now looking at some of my faulty thinking, an example is comparing with others. If I compare with myself what I have achieved in a small period of time is remarkable and also has taken a lot of courage to keep trying when you are severely depressed. So now i must say to myself good work, you are worthwhile. It is a bit tough off effexor, have periods of crying during the day, most phyical symptons are totally gone, my head is clear most of the time.

I actually think depression has been good for me, it has given me determination and will power, and knowledge that nothing is impossible if you dont give up, it has also given me the gift of love, Flora and the gift of life, connecting back with god. In the past I would say I dont deserve this but now I know these things are mine. Thanks again to Karen and all for your words of encouragement, this has kept me strong.

reallyg sld to hear things are going so well for you Stephen-Flora sounds lovely-what a beautiful name too=hope effexor is the problem

Rooting for you

Maggie

Hello Karen, I like the poem alot. Some of the things I already do, I treat many with respect and kindness, I am learning some useful things through the church. Here is one, help others in distress, you may not get a chance to do this if you ignore peoples cry for help. In my life i have ignored my parents for a while, especially during my depression. Now I am helping them by talking and listening to them.

I will read the poem, I will try and learn from it. I feel I have learnt most about life in the last 12 months and my mind has been busy processing it. My self esteem needs a lot of work but I have the key ingredients, belief in myself, belief in god, determination and support from the forum, my family, my friends, now getting a lot of support from work friends. I know I cannot get better alone, this was what i tried in the past, I cartainly feel better with all this support around me, I am seeing my psychologist tomorrow. Thanks for poem, it inspires me to be better.

I am so happy you like desiderata. I have lived by it for many years, about thirty...

Sounds like things are going well for you. Still in a learning process, but good things to learn... You are moving up in life. Things getting better. Happy. That is wonderful. Flora sounds so nice. I am so happy for you...

Again, half asleep. I come here first thing in the morning to read. Still getting fuel (coffee) in me...

I hope that your day is a good one. Have a good day at work too. I hope that you see Flora tonight. Tell her we all said hi...

Hugs, Karen

Isn't this wonderful? It wasn't all that long ago you were seeing others in love and wanted to be like that, now you are the one in love, and you notice people who are not. I bet that is sad for you sometimes, yet you feel happy because you are the one in love. Too bad everybody couldn't find love. I think they do in time. It is all in the timing.

You are doing good. I am so happy for you. I am glad that your psychologist sees that too. I bet she is amazed with your progress. Keep up the great work, I hope that this is a good day for you.

Hugs, Karen

You are welcome Stephen. I guess I always saw something in you and wanted it to come out. I don't know... You did the work. Remember that. You have to give yourself that credit too. It didn't just simply happen. You kept pushing and didn't give up. So pat yourself on the back for that one.

Maybe you can talk to the doc about something that would have any sexual side effects. I take prisiq. I switched from effexor to that. Or maybe a mood stabilizer by itself. You may be able to over come it with just the talk therapy. You have love in your life now. So it may change things to where you don't need anything at all. One day at a time Stephen. Keep on keeping on. You have Flora now, and that is going to help.

By the way, do let us know how things go with her valentine's present. Have you given it to her yet? Or are you waiting for that special day? I hope she likes wehat you got her. Do keep us posted.

Take care Stephen. You are a wonderful example of somebody rising above depression and succeeding.

Hugs, Karen

Hello Karen, letting you know I had a good time at church the other day. I helped out one of the guys andrew, he did not have a tv and I had a spare at home, so I offered him a tv and he was greatful. Later on that day at the night church service I met alastair, his wife and john, all very nice people and we talked, I feel like I belong to the church more and getting more friends.

Ok, last night the church had bible study. The teacher Paul, he is very knowledable, I liked his class. On the social side I met, Andrew, he is a swimmer, also a leader in the church, others were Jonathon another leader, going to church for 40 years a really nice guy. Also met glen, shauntiny, money, timu, tamara and one other, cant remember her name. Anyway it was a really good night, I felt so happy, I look forward to the next meeting on Monday. I will be going out with Flora tonight, valentines day. One last note I still have depression and sometimes cry but I also feel very happy too so I think i am so much better than last year when I was full of despair and sadness.