MY WIFE LEFT ME

So my wife left me about one month ago. She was constantly lying to me. We would agree on something and she would do the total opposite. I would ask her question and know she was lying.

She is 10 years younger than me….and I had more wealth when we got married. She now makes more money than me. She also sign pre-nup before we got married. I brought a house with the money i sold from my apartment and the house is under my name.

Well fast forward a year later…she tells me that she want the house under her name and she won’t help with the house anymore. I am able to take care of the house on my own…but to have a wife that doesn’t help me with the house so she can put all her money in the bank…doesn’t make sense. She isn’t my girlfriend..but my wife.

If she is holding her name on the deed as a condition of staying in the marriage…well to me that is red flag…why did she bring the topic now …and not when i brought the house. How do i know that in 3 month she won’t be just leaving me?

She should feel the security in me alone. It’s not the clothes a man wears but; the man himself. And it not like she is poor..she makes more money than me.

I know most of the woman here would say I should sign my life away and give the deed. but she isn’t a child. She sign the pre-nup years before…she didn’t say anything when I brought the house…she waited a year later after i brought the house to talk about this…what the hell is that about.

With no-fault divorce you don’t need an excuse anymore to get a divorce. You just don’t have to feel like being married anymore – and with that reality comes the truth – a marriage is no longer a contract, so what’s the point except to put yourself and your future at risk when someone “doesn’t feel like it anymore?”

Well anyway..i was at work one day…she called in sick..took her stuff and left me. She won’t talk to me…hence she left me no choice but get a divorce.

I am so depress….i can’t take this sadness anymore sometimes

thisworld

Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  I am sorry to hear you are going through a rough time.

I think it is sad when a marriage comes down to all about money and wealth and who has the most etc.  She signed a prenup, the house is in your name, and she makes more money then you do now.  Sounds like a lot to deal with. 

I would have to say if my husband had only his name on the deed to our house I may be reluctant to sink any money into  if our marriage was headed down hill.  I am not judging either of you as I have not walked in your shoes. 

I suspect you are both feeling very bitter toward each other.  I would have to say for your sake I agree with Karen, counseling is a good idea for you so that you may sort out your feelings to find out what is depression and what is anger as well as how to deal with these feelings.

It is great to be a part of a community of people who understand what you are going through, so I hope that you will stay on with us. We are here to help and support, and look forward to getting to know you better.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

I am heartbroken..depress and i can't handle this pain. I just can't believe this happening to me...and that she doesn't even want to talk to me

She hasn't the depth of personality that you do, Thisworld. That's really what it's all about, in one sense. Counseling is the way to go; maybe medication would be appropriate until the pain assuages. You will feel sorry for her one day; in the meantime, be sure you take care of yourself and recover from the psychic shock of what has happened.

Psychological shocks like this can throw off the chemical balance in the brain, Thisworld. A good psychiatrist will know exactly which medications you might consider taking to restore the balance for you and help you to recover sooner than you would without the doctor's assistance.

Good wishes,

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 2/13/2012 10:51:31 AM (GMT-7)

I have talk to relative..they all said to forget her. My issues is that she doesn't want to talk to me. She hates me....i can't trust her..even my lawyer said don't call her....how can she not want to talk to me after spending 5 years with me...

I will talk to a psychiatrist if things don't get better

Another thought: we have no control over what someone else does, it's hard enough controlling our own selves....

Thisworld,

I am sorry that you are going through this, heartbreak is something is not easy and is extremely hard to deal with, but you need to look on the positive side. If someone could just up and leave after 5 years with no explanation is that someone worth being with? Maybe you should join some activities to keep you busy, through your city maybe? I no you are sad and hurt but from what I seen with people who act the way your wife did, those type of people get happy off of your pain. Please keep your head held high, I no this is hard but time will heal all wounds, and who knows what fate has in store for you.
I am sorry for your heartbreak, I hope the pain goes away soon.

It sounds like she is trying to lay a guilt trip on you. Or maybe that is what she really thinks. But by the sounds of it, you are better off without her. If she can just up and leave like that, she didn't put much stock into your marriage. Believe us when we say a psychiatrist and/or psychologist can help you sort things out. It sounds like you have many questions as to why she did what she did. But just realize what she did is what she did, she left. No questions asked. Other than her statement. But I think she is just trying to make you feel bad. In any case, the next step is to get some help for your self, pick up the pieces and move forward. It can be done, you can have a good life still. Listen to the members here. They all really care about you. They want to see you happy. I know it is hard right now, but it does get easier.

Hugs, Karen

She is playing games with you. I think you should get the divorce. I know that you care about her, but she is hurting you.

Hugs, Karen

Remember the the story about the footprints in the sand.

When times were good there were two sets of footprints.
When times were bad there were only one.
There were only one set because God/Jesus carried you during those times, not because they have abandoned you.
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Please listen to everyone who is telling you not to talk to your wife. She is playing you, big time, and if you are not careful she will end up leaving you with nothing at all...pre-nup or no pre-nup.

Also please be careful what you say to others about her. You can talk freely with a counselor and your lawyer but anyone else be careful. In fact I would be sure to tell your lawyer about the games, lies, etc she is spreading because it would not shock me if she ends up setting you up for some kind of lawsuit at some point.

Hang in there friend. You are right. It will get easier and better as time goes by. Right now just protect yourself and concentrate on taking it one day at a time.

Taking med. now....was able to sleep, but it still lingers in my head...the memories and pain.
I fell unappreciated for all the love and caring I gave to her. I email her to ask her to met somewhere and talk..and she hasn't respond. I don't think she will ever respond to me. She disassociated herself from the marriage. I am dead to her. I will never get my answer. I survived past relationship..but this one..was a person I was with day in and day out for four years. I have never met someone like her ...so cold and heartless. I tried to call her sister up..and once again..i got no phone call back. I guess they supporting her.
My dad said that i should start hating her.....HATE..and to stop wanting to talk to her...or even be with her....why would you want to be with someone who is so cruel...you want to destroy your soul.

What am I afraid of?

I guess the feeling that I am completely alone and that there was nobody to help me. In that moment, I felt all the other times in my life when I had been left alone and in pain. It felt like a knife was jabbing into an open wound on my chest. I could barely breathe, My sadness was so deep that it blinded me to any other realities. My biggest fear has surfaced. I believed that I would be stuck forever in the empty, painful feeling of my loneliness.

Thisworld,

I understand your pain for I am going threw the same thing. Its very hard for me to swallow that she just does not care for me anymore. I have my ups and downs
week after week and it had taken a toll on me mentally. Why can I just not move on like she did? Many questions that go unanswered is what kills me. My gut tells me
she is with another man. She wants to stay married because my step disabled daughter would get better disability benefits and my work credits are better since she was
not a US citizen. She uses the kids against me to stay married to me often telling me that if I file for divorce I will be just hurting the kids and if I do she will hate me forever
and I will never see the kids again. Unlike you I have been harassing her with calls and texts to no answer. Yesterday was our anniversary and she did not even bother to say
anything until I reminded her. I sent her flowers a week before and a note of how I felt for her. I have been realizing that I have no control over what she does and who she is
so I decided to not call her anymore and to just leave her alone. When you love someone it is better to let them go if you truly love them. Me it was not easy and still is not but
I know it is for the best. I have plenty of anger and hurt from her at things she has done and said to me and last night when I cried myself to sleep it was my last time doing so
over a woman who does not deserve it. Sure she could care less like she has told me many times. We have a son together and it is real hard for me not to call her knowing he
misses me, but I know for right now in order for me to heal I have to stick to my guns. He will understand someday and he will see what type of person she truly is.