Help please - I don't know what to say...

This may not be the best forum to ask this but I suffer depression and bipolar so...I have just learned, after a long battle with cancer, that my sister has only 2-3 weeks left - there are no treatment options remaining. I am going to see her nest week and have no idea what to say to her, aside from the obvious.

Where can I get help?!

lost.....

Brian

Hi Brian,

Just being there is enough. Take it one moment at a time. She will know that you are there and she will be just so happy to have you there. So don't worry about things to say. Just go. Like I say, your presence will be enough.

I hope that you get through this okay. Grief takes time... I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I lost one of my sisters to breast cancer and the other one to lupus. Luckily I guess, I am still here.

Keep posting. And welcome to the forum. There will be others with advice.

Hugs, Karen

with much healing compassion, jamie.

HI Brian,

I don't think you will lose it with her, and if you do, so be it. She will know that you care. It is hard when we are losing somebody. I lost my first husband to lung cancer. It was tough, but I got though it. People pull together and you get help from the least expected places. You will be surprised. I had help from friends and family that I didn't expect. IT went well. Not that death goes well, but for th emost part it was kind of a beautiful transition from him. He looked so young and out of pain when he died.

I wish you the best. Just do the best that you can. Remember that the dieing can hear even five minutes after they are gone. So watch how you talk about her. Don't refer her to seond tense. I mean speak about her like she isn't there. Because she can hear well.

Best wishes. You will do fine. Keep posting, we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen

Well, my sister is still defying the odds and hangs on. I've been with her for 6 days, the last 4 she's been unresponsive. I had to leave her today - I can't watch her whither away anymore. Two days before I got news that she had a major set-back, the woman I thought I'd finally found told me she wants me out of her life. That's the day I had an extraction and root canal.

I've run out of my pain meds for my fibro and my pharmacy's 2000 miles away.

Today was really it tho'. I took my mother to the hospital (I'm staying with her now) but I couldn't stay more than an hour - I just feel sick all over when I see her. I feel bad as my brother's are all there - guilty, ya know. I can't take the waiting. I said my goodbyes to her yesterday and we had many good conversations earlier.

I'm off work to stay and care for my mother but don't know I can do it. I have only my ex-wife as possible support back home - I can't even think of doing anything with my current relationship - I want it over anyhow, the sooner the better.

Am I wrong to stay away from my sister? I love her dearly - she saved me from much of my childhood - and hate seeing her like this. She's no more than 65 lbs now....

Thank you Karen. My dear sister Susan finally passed this morning.

Brian

Karen,

thank you again. No doubt, my sister is in a much better place. I have been lucky enough to have her husband, a doctor, prescribe my pain meds so will be able to spend more time with my mother. She needs companionship now more than ever.

If it were not for this site and all the wonderful people here, I think I may have gone nuts. Thank you everyone.

Life goes on and I now this grief will pass. I will take care of me so I can take care of my mother. I do not believe in God but am spiritual and know I will see my sister again, when it's my time. From this I can draw much comfort.

Brian