My Life, By Beagleman... continued...

Just popping to say Hi Stephen.

Glad everything is going so well. You have a good head on your shoulders. I hope that this relationship does have a future. If not, you will try again. But you and Flora sound good together.

Hugs, Karen

Thanks Karen and kitt, me and flora are getting along really well, Last night flora told me she loves me a number of times. This means alot to me as I have told her I love her also and feel we are getting closer. We are talking about the possibility of moving into together and the cost of rent. We have the same goals of marriage and children and i am learning some of her habits.

I guess despite all my inexperience flora is still able to see me as very worthwhile, this i admit i did not expect. She has so much more life experience but is keen to be with me. I dont question our relationship, it is something to cherish and enjoy. I just didnt expect some one would ever love me, this is probably my depressed self talking, I now know I have much more to offer than i thought, and a capacity to love and be loved.

Tomorrow, me and Flora are going out for dinner, and also going to the beach. Being in love makes me feel so good, so happy, it is an experience that is worth waiting for, it is something i will not take for granted, it is also something I will never forget. Thanks Karen and Kitt, I feel the joy.

Hello Karen, i actually met Floras parents today, they seem like really ncie people. Her mum is really easy to get along with, her dad is rather quiet and reserved. Me and flora went to a restaurant and had a meal and shared a bottle of wine. We the walked on the beach. We talked about our future, Flora is keen on the idea of us sharing an apartment and I am happy about this. She said we can talk about the location and what we can afford. We discussed other issues and everything is going well for me, I couldnt expect anything better. She kissed me tonight very intimately and we will meet again next weekend.

Last night I took my parents out to a restaurant, it was a chinese restaurant, and we had a goodtime. The food was good, we shared a bottle of wine, my dad said to my mum this is for her 50th wedding anniversary. Look, I am glad this turned out as my mum and dad have not gone out together for many years, I am hoping they will enjoy each others company, I guess I decided to do this because flora had told me she took her parents out for dinner, I know I have lacked a lot of socail skills myself and plan to keep improving mine.

Hello Karen, just checking in. Flora asked me if i could go on holidays with her for a week to vanawatu, I think this is part of micronesia. Anyway I said I would love to go on holidays with her, if I can get time off work this will be over easter. I am really looking forward to a holiday with flora.
Last night we went out to the GPO, a restaurant and winetasting event. We had a nice meal, beef slowly cooked, roast vegetables, and shared a bottle of rose wine. To finish off the night we had hot chocolate. Went back to flora's place, we had sex, flora knows how to spoil me and knows how to make me happy. Sex is good but being with her, in love with her, this is really special, like you are high, I cant really expain it, it just feels so good. Seeing Flora again tonight.

my Boss has given me some time off over easter, so me and flora will be flying to Vanuatu for a week in a tropical paradise, sorry for the cliche. My life seems to be improving in other ways also, I have a much more positive outloook, i am enjoying my work more, enjoying time with my family and enjoying very much my relationship with flora. She said to me the other day she loves me, but said she thinks I love her more, which I agree is true, but she is getting much closer to me.

I still have some self doubt, but i am not hard on myself anymore, confidence building takes time and each time i face my fears I get stronger. To go from a situation of depression and despair a few months ago to now, where i use no medication, improved confidence, and full of hope, i have to say this is an achievement, I am not static, still improving, i am looking for postives and have now achieved most things I wanted when I was really depressed.

My last 2 goals are to be married and have a child, and flora wants the same as me, so this one is achievable. I guess I could live without a child, but I really would love one, so it is on my list. I have no money goals, i am just happy to be fully employed and be with flora. For me being lonely was hard, intollerably sad, and for me I needed phyisical interaction, touching, kissing, holding hands and intimacy, this for me is more valuable than gold, the gift of love. Thankyou karen, I have been remembering every precious time i have with flora and creating so many good memories, to others never give up, to many good things out there, you just have to be persistant.

Spent the last 4 days with flora, wehad a lot of fun together. I was sick for a few dyas with a cold and flu symptons, flora was very nice and helped me stay warm at nights and helped me get medication when i was due. We had more good sex, flora is always teaching me new things and helping me relax. She is really in touch with her sexuality and is extroverted so she tells me what she wants to make her satisfied. I really am happy to know someone so loving, so honest, so patient.

Going on holidays to vanuatu next monday, i am checking my luggage, my passport, helping flora as well. Flora asked me my thoughts on living with her and i said I would like this to happen, she asked me about marriage and i said I would like marriage and she said she would marry me if things go well. Look, floras goal in her life is to have a baby, and a partner, she said she still wants to work, but she is really driven to having a baby. The good thing is that I would love to have my own child so things have been really good between us. At the moment, we are looking forward to our holiday.

Thanks karen, love, it is real, I love giving it, I love receiving it.