My wife has left me I think she is depressed> Help!

Death and grieving can be very complicated for some people. Have you guys ever tried counselling?

I usually hang out in pain forums but I read your post and did not want you to think nobody cares.

There will be a regular member here shortly that might be able to say something that will help.

I am sorry for what you are going through. Grieving can be hard for some people that they can get confused. And being the brother that died, perhaps she must be trying to live him through this other friend of his.

However, I am sure there will be a moderator to take you through the process. Take care,

HI no she won't go through counselling she hasa really negative perception of it. I've tried to suggest it but she just shuts off. she says its over and at this moment in time thats her final decision. Its just so sudden. She is finding a place of her own though we've only been split one week I just don't think she is thinking straight. I'm so frustrated she truly is my soul mate.

As the adage says you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

This is where you are at David. You understand what your wife needs to do but you can't make her do it and if you keep pushing all that will happen is you will end up pushing her farther away.

I really think right now all you can really do is let her have her space and do your best to move on with your life. If you find yourself having a really hard time with that then consider the above advice and attend some counseling of your own.

I want to point out some signs that I've noticed and see if anyone can confirm my suspicions that my wife is indeed depressed,
She has severe mood swings from quite happy to really angry and low.
She can be set off by the least insignificant thing and go into a rage.
she has went from drinking maybe once a week to every day
she is very short tempered with our son.
She is constantly snacking and is putting weight on.
She says she wishes everyone would just die and she's glad her brothers dead and she didn't even like him. Someone please help.

It sounds like your wife is truly depressed. Can you get her to go to the doctor or a counselor? You said she left, but it sounds like she still may be there as you are talking about her behavior. Do you see her regularly? Can you talk her into seeing somebody professional? The drinking is only going to make her more depressed. So that is a bad cycle. You might have to intervene if it is coming to your child getting mistreated in any way. Do keep an eye on that.

I hope things get better.

Hugs, Karen

Do your best to convince her to get help by way of counseling or seeing her doctor. How long has it been since she has had a physical? Maybe if you suggested that, it would at least get her in there and she might mention her moods. It really sounds like she is depressed. You can't fix her but you can guide her. Maybe even getting a book on depression would help you. It is too bad she doesn't have a lot of support. But that could change. Keep trying.

Hugs, Karen

prozac is a great anti depressant i really went through a similar situation but those pills really help and i even found them chepaer in this medicinesmexico.com page i mean i really wish nobody would die or suffer in this world she is probably acting like this beacuase it just happen but you need to learn to let go..

I could be wrong, but I don't think he actually meant for you to give up. But there might come a time where you have to get on with your own life. You can only help so much in these types of situations. That is why I said, you can't fix her. You can only guide her, she has to do this for herself. And if she doesn't try, eventually she wont get better. Her drinking is going to make her depression worse. If you can convince her to get help, this may not happen. Do your best to get her to counseling, even if you have to make the appointment for her. You may end up needing counseling though this to keep you coping with the situation. You sound close to that point now. And there is nothing wrong with that. When one person is depressed, it can effect the whole family. Take it one day at a time. Make sure that you keep your own head above water. This isn't going to be an easy ride. Strap yourself in and get her into counseling.

Hugs, Karen

Plus our anniversary came and went without as much as an acknowledgement it had ever happened. She has deleted wedding pictures of facebook and raged at me for referring to it on facebook on the day as the proudest day of my life.

Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately though I started this thread to try and help my wife I now believe I also require help. The last month has been the worst of my life but for some reason the last week I feel as if the floodgates are going to burst open. I have seriously contemplated suicide to just end this pain. I believe I had somewhat of a breakdown yesterday I was at work and just sat in the toilet sobbing and shaking. after this I felt like a zombie it truly was the strangest thing I have ever experienced. As if all emotions have been sapped from me and all I have is this constant gloom. Thoughts of ending my life won't leave my mind. I am so scared. I have suffered what doctors termed mild depression a few years back incidentally until I met my wife. but what I felt then doesn't even come close. I'm sorry for rambling I suppose I'm a weak person. People go through much worse and don't let it destroy them. However even considering this doesn't do a thing to put the situation in perspective. I want to be there for my wife but don't know how much longer I can carry on. I told the doctor this and he said he would refer me to a counsellor however this could take upto 4 weeks I really don't think I can wait that long with suh feelings and dark thoughts. Once again I apologise for taking up so much space but I feel at the present time this is the only outlet I have.