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Posted 5/11/2012 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
I've had depression since i was a kid, and in the last few years it has been very bad. about a year ago, i am ashamed to say i couldn't take much more, and tried to kill myself while my two children were in the house. Sorry, i know we're not allowed to talk about suicide, so i won't say anymore, but i feel that is important. My children were removed from me by social services and with the help of my G.P, and a mental health nurse, as well as my friends, i slowely recovered. It wasn't easy, there were times i lay on the floor in my house and cried for hours. But i love my children and wanted to be a good mum to them. I was very lucky; i managed to fight and have my children returned to me. But that isn't the end of the story because my social worker causes me great concern. She's not a bad person, and i know she's only trying to do her job, but she picks on every tiny little thing she can find. I try so hard to keep a smile on my face with her, but i find it increasingly difficult at times. I have to fight every single day for the rest of my life against depression, and i know a iam doing an amazing job with my kids; their school praises me, her collegues praise me, i do everything she asks, such as put up curtains. But when she came to see, she ignored the curtains and just criticised. It's really getting me down.
Posted 5/11/2012 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Just continue to do the best you can. They probably pick up on every little thing. But as long as you continue to try, you will be okay. Try not to let it get you down. I guess you could say she is making you earn the right to have your children, but I am sure she has your best interest as a mother at heart.

I am glad that you have joined us here at HW. I am glad that you are respecting the rules. I figure at that time in your life you were going through a real rough patch. I am glad that you are still with us. Keep your children's best interest at heart and you can't go wrong. Keep posting and know that we care.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/12/2012 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
Thankyou for replying. I've had a think and i really do need to go back to my happy pills as i realise i am struggling again. I'm glad this forum is here, it helps to know i'm not alone because depression is such an isolating illness; noone can understand it unless they have experienced it and i am tired of people telling me to pull myself together or get on with it. One person even told me that i would feel better if i did some washing up! If only it were that easy.
Posted 5/12/2012 6:20 PM (GMT 0)
I know how it goes when you are depressed. It is hard to function. Take it one day at a time. You are right, people who don't experience it think you can just snap out of it, but that isn't so.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/16/2012 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
Your point about it being an 'isolating illness' is absolutely spot on and I am feeling extremely alone and unrelated to at the moment, but there are a lot of people who have had this feeling of no light being at the end of the tunnel and they all make it through apart from one or two exceptions its sad to say, and that should encourage you. Depression is an ugly ugly illness and the mind is so powerful, but you clearly love your children and therefore you will fight this horrible mental battle for them even if at times you can't cope with it within yourself. Use your kids who look up to you as all the motivation, fight this with determination and you WILL get better, that is a fact. You can do this, keep telling yourself that! :)
Posted 5/16/2012 11:08 AM (GMT 0)
Your social worker has almost no psychotherapy training. It is a great misfortune that the very person who should be protecting is doing more harm than good. Criticizing a depressed person is akin to being a fireman who gets called to a fire and brings gasoline instead of water to add to the fire.

I find it laughable and a joke that they are actually the ones with a lot of clout in most mental health agencies and yet they seem to have (with exception to clinical social workers) very little empathy.

Excuse me while I rant for a minute. What the heck does curtains have to do with anything? Are you traumatizing your kids because of your curtains? I have not once seen a study or report on the affects that curtains have on kids good or bad.

Now I can't give much advice since you didn't give much to work with, you only stated you were depressed. Let me start by saying that you could try adjusting your communication style. In other words you need to state what is on your mind...truthfully.

Be totally honest and ASSERTIVE! Next time the social worker comes by you let him or her know you'd like to talk. As soon as they get in the house take (her) to the dining table and sit her down and tell her your concerns about how you feel. Let her know that her attitude is causing you anxiety and hurting you and it is wrong. Please find a way to do this as positively as possible...no attitude on your part just be assertive.

This does not mean that you piss off this person, hence you do it as gently and kindly as you possibly can that is what assertive communication is. State what you feel, express what her actions are doing to you and tell her that you feel it is unfair to you. And whatever she replies you then let her know that you have the right to feel the way you do. Yes she might have some snippy remark to make but ignore it and restate that you have the right to express the way you feel (with no attitude on your part).

Next apologize to her for whatever way you have offended her and say nothing more just that you thought she should know how you feel. Tell her you really really REALLY appreciate all the assistance she can give that will make you a better parent.

In this way you have distracted her from the agenda she has (to make you miserable) and make your relationship with her a more positive (if possible) one.

Post Edited (natural1) : 5/16/2012 5:11:34 AM (GMT-6)

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