new to forum

Hi all

ive just joined as i thought i could share my experience on cipralex and escitalopram (the milder version apparently)

I've been on meds since around 20 when i had a bad breakup, thinking that the break up was the real reason for depression but infact it stems from childhood bullying and a bad virus that doctors missed which led me into a bad spiral.

so they worked for the depression part, that went away so i came off them, felt awfull after coming off them slowley at say the age 24-25 i ended up becoming so anxious that i was scared to leave the house sometimes and my brain would be on super drive all day and night. so back on the pills i go 20mg, Im not depressed though i said so shy put me on them, docs answer to everything is cipralex!!!

sooo while being on them ive always felt like im nt quite real like im looking in outside at my life and everyone else, which causes interactional problems alot of the time. just want tofeel normal i always say.

il get to 2012 as theres toomuch inbetween, so i started feeling postive when i started my business and it took off recently after 2 years of struggle and i started acting classes and felt my confidence rise, so now i say i want off these pills, i have no sex life due to them and im so lucky my partner stays with me, but i want my sex life back and i dont want to be bloated anymore( always bloated and gain weight easy where as off them i was a  happy size 10 and stayed there even when eating like a pig! now im always down about my weight, mmm take away oa problem and replace withnew ones cipralex!!!

so i came off them slowley to begin with then as ibecame hyper and more happy i forgot to carry on weaning and stopped. I was okay for 2 - 3 weeks then bammmm

after the brain pulps stopped and the shekes and heart pupls i then had a break of okayness then the bam. I started crying all the time one day it was all day, then it got more depresing with suicidle thougts, i cant bare to feel sick in my tummy anymore do i go back on them ahhhhhhhh

my partner says its withdrawal and i can do it, Yes hes right i must stop giving to the easy answer and push through

so after a few real bad depressed days in bed i have forced myself to go back to my other job and work at my business harder (as much as i can in a tired state) and im not happy but im not sad today im just inbetween.

its hard when ppl put you down as in be begative saying oowww you shudnt come off them u shudnt go to work u shud go to work lalala shutuppppp

i came across another forum today that gave me a lift, it was people coming off cipralex and they are feeling good, it takes weeks maybe months but they are doing it and so i know i will do it too.

things im changing

Pin board full of positives on my bedroon wall, saying I Choose, I will, I ust get up. Im a good person

Hypnotherapy _ very relaxing and a big buzz after just very expensive so if u cant affoed buy dvds off amazon!!

moderation of food meat and carbs balance

agnus castus. i ave awful pmt like a nut case on pmt, but this os helping

all the vitamins u can take lol

so today is another start to a better med free future where i control my brain and body and not some drug!!!

xxxxxx hope all of you are welll

I feel alot more positive today and what normally makes me feel angry stright away i am manageing to blow it ff : )

my doctors are useless, in the uk all doctors do is say have antidepressants for everything!

I know in my soul that meds make me less human and i cant be the real me, i want to feel things and handle them and so far today is good, i have no idea what the next day will be esp this time of year is quite a dramatic time to quit them but i have a lot to look forward too.

thanks for the comment, i may take councelling as extra help cannot hurt

Hi karen

tbh i really dont want to be on happy pills ever again unless im utterly suicidle
i feel very good thisafter noon and keep thinking positvely and the drained feeling is going away
i know they help people but the thing is i dont feel like im depressed i just feel withdrawal from coming off them.
if in say 2 months im feeling low and cant get out of bed or act like a human then i will definately consider them, but fro now i want a pill free life and a healthy spirit.

im going to go to church with my sisters too, im not religious but i like the community of it.

I know i can get through this ikkyness but im the only one who can do it, but yes i need to deal with the ineer deep hurt that lingers and get it out i guess

xxxx

Know that we are all right here behind you. I wish I could go med free, but I can't. And I have accepted that. Good luck though, I can't blame you for not wanting meds. Keep posting, it does help. Know we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen

thank you guys for the lovely replys sorry i have not said your names but if i scroll up and down on this tiny laptop i forget within second lol


the idea of a nutritionist is good i will look into that, i hope o be in a better financail place next year so i can see people who are good at what they do.
i agree its hard to get a good counceller ive seen 2 and what a waist of money but i will look again

i dont no if anyone else here has had hypnotherapy but i found that very good and peacfull and i got to clear my ind for once, i really advise trying it, its very safe and relaxing.

i too hope i can have a med free life and i hope no thinks i dont agree with them, its not that its just me as a person, i need to feel reality.

i also know meds have saved lives. my mum is manic depressive and she has been mental excuse the word but she is now on meds that work good after trying many different ones. prozac was evil to her it was like the excorsist.

hope my humour does not offend.

any way just been out with my dad for tea and it really picked me up and i feel blessed to have him,he said something good to me:

dad i just want to feel normal like you your normal, his reply... baby theres no such thing as normal im just a swan that holds it together ad you will learn that too.

: )

have a great evenng all. all my love xxx

Hi Kisabex,

Thanks for your reply. I hope that you start feeling better, whatever you try. We all walk different paths in life but it seems the depression brings us together. I hope that you begin to feel well. Keep posting and know that we all care.

Hugs, Karen