I just can't forgive and forget

I'm in my breaking point I know I'm depressed.... My husband of almost 3yrs and 6yrs of being together cheated on me emotionally and possibly physically with an older woman and on top of everything it's someone he works with. This just isn't a normal cheating thing, it's seriously tearing me apart. So when we first married instantly a month later I found out that he started talking to his ex of 3yrs and they were defiantly flirting and had seen eachother... I was heartbroken when I found out.... He denied a lot of things and swore nothing happen between them and I accepted his apology and forgave him... A couple months went by and I came across his computer since it was something we both shared and noticed he was talking to multiple women and escorts... He was talking to them very sexually and asked for pictures and all types of things, I was so disgusted and that was a turning point for me at that point stress began to grow and so did my weight... I for some reason forgave him and again gave him another chance because I love him and I believe in a marriage you need to work at it.... 1yr passed and everything seemed to have been going well until again I went on his iPad and his yahoo account was open and right in my face there he was talking to yet another female so sexually and emotionally saying things like I can't wait to have your body on top of mine etc things that he never really tells me anymore... When I confronted him he told me he was sorry and that he had a problem that he was addicted to talking about sex... He also admitted that it was a female he worked with and she was 20 yrs older than him... Since this happened 5 months ago I haven't let it go... I forgave him again but this time it's different I'm so bitter and depressed and I'm wanting to forgive but I can't and its breaking me down especially since as of now I just seen that he's back to looking for women to to to again... I can't win I feel like he loves me but then hates me he's hurting me. I feel so alone I cry every night ... I have no one to talk to because I feel anyone I do talk to ill be judged... I really need help everything is bottled up inside and I feel like I'm losing control ..... 😪

You need to stand up for you!

Peace
Trina

It sounds like he just doesn't care. But this could be a sickness. I would seriously think about leaving and getting on with your life. If you don't you are going to continue to have to deal with this and the feeling that he doesn't care.

I hope things get better for you. Seriously, think about getting on with your life, there is somebody out there that cares about you. Somebody who will treat you good like you deserve...

Hugs, Karen

Back when I was feeling better, I interned at a domestic abuse center for a crisis line. This sounds like emotional abuse to me, which qualifies as domestic abuse. It doesn't always have to be physical.

I know that every person has their own timing to get out of a relationship like this. If you're not ready, you're not ready. I think you should try counseling if it's something that you can afford. I completely second what JB1 said:

JB1 said...
I'm sorry your going through this. Its not right or fair to you. You don't deserve this. Please know that you did nothing wrong. Your husband has issues that has nothing to do with you.

There is a domestic abuse hotline if you just need to talk to someone privately about what's going on. 1-800-799-SAFE. This is only something you should do if you know that your husband is not around. Having worked at a crisis line like this, I know that these people would be able to give you options for the situation and would not pressure you to leave if you're not ready.

Best of luck. We're all rooting for you.

Av

Thank you all again... At this point he left the house.... Like I said previously the night I posted this was the same night that I seen On his phone that he was looking for females on Craigslist... I didn't erase the history that I seen it on his phone so he knew I saw it. So he tells me this morning you know I made a mistake a couple days ago and I "accidentally" clicked on the women seeking men forum... And he said he kept looking at those post to see what he was missing and realize he was missing nothing.... Everything he says is such a lie to me the only reason he confronted me about This is because he knows I seen it... He's really good at lying and making it seem like what he says is the truth.... I gave him a couple words and he seemed to get upset and left... This has happened before.... So what should I do at this point I need some good advice... I'm not ready to completely let him go I'm so in love with him but the lies and the not caring are hurting me deeply... What can we do to make it matter, what can I do to make him stop... Please help me 😰

I agree,

If you want to continue to live in denial, you can. You will never be happy or contented. You will always be putting up with this behavior. People like him are toxic. You need to see a counselor and get yourself moving forward. It is hard, but it will happen, if you take measures to do so. We cant' make you, but we can guide you to start. So take that step, call somebody and get your life going...

Listen to what we are saying. We care about you and don't want to see you continually getting hurt...

Hugs, Karen

Alone,

There is nonething I can say that has not already been said. Re-read the posts.
Especially Greatunclebills.

Scarred, I don't think I welcomed you to the forum. So Welcome and I hope you feel supported here.

To Greatunclebill, it is nice to hear from you. I think of you as a "Sage" good advice, common sense and to the point. You are a wonderful person.

everyone stay strong
Peace
Trina

alone the bum has no character and never will.a man should treat his wife like a queen....forever

I would like to take a moment and welcome all the "new members" on this thread and thank you for taking the time to post and support Alone.

Continue to post for yourself and others. We are all here to listen and give feed back to each other as a supportive network. Your input is important.

Stay strong everyone!
Peace
Trina