How do you define your depression?

So many people think that depression means you cry all the time. I think we all experience depression differently and I wanted to share mine.

My depression stems from a total loss of self worth and self confidence. I don't cry daily over it- heck I try not to think about it. But for me, when I talk about self worth, I do cry because it is such an empty feeling.

I think so many people look at depression suffers from the outside and think why in the world are you depressed? You have a beautiful family, a wonderful job (or two!), a roof over your head, etc.... What they don't understand is that depression is so much deeper than the surface or at least it is for me.

How would you define your depression?

Michele

OOOOOOooooo I like that Trina- a containable virus. Mine is chemical too.

Michele

I think mine is all of the above. I get the low self esteem and the hopelessness too. Sometimes I get aggitated. I have been on good meds for me for a long time. Just yesterday I got the abilify bumped up. My psycologist thinks it is due to the winter and being stuck inside all the time. And my fibromyalgia has been kicking my butt too. I do tend to think too much also when I am depressed.

It sounds like we all have similar symptoms. Depression stinks that is for sure. Mine is chemical too. Will always be on medications. I don't like that thought, but live with it. What else can we do? One day at a time...

This is a good thread Michele...

Hugs, Karen

JB-

Hang in there- remember, it can take 6 weeks sometimes. It seems like forever... trust me, I know...... I don't exercise as directed, but I do take slow leisure walks and it helps. Also, sunlight seems to help me......

I will keep you in my thoughts!
Michele

JB1,

Have you noticed any changes in your mind? I noticed it seemed to help me think clearer. I could do numbers better and was sharper in the mind. I dont think it works that way for everybody, but it did for me.

Walking is a good way to start out exercising. It makes you feel better both mentally and physically. Plus it builds you up for exercising. Which is really, really beneficial both mentally and physically. IF the wellbutrin works for you, you will definately have the energy for exercise. But I can see where your doc would want you to. It really does help. I walk daily when I can.

Take care.

Have a good night...

Hugs, Karen

slow and steady wins the race my friend. many healings to you.

in kind friendship,
jamie

good on ya julie.
stay strong,
jamie

I'm new to the site, I,m glad I found this site because at least I know I am not alone suffering with depression. I have always had periods of depression off and on however since I retired over a year ago it has come on with a vengence. I feel that there is nothing left for me in this life. I also have to force myself to get up in the morning and find it an effort to take a shower or even cook. I eat a lot of soup.....The problem that I am having now is any med's that the doctors have put me on for depression cause to me have skipped heartbeats which drives me crazy. I have been on paxil, prozac, celexa and some I can't even remember. I have a chemical imbalance so I am at my wits end as to what to do.......When I first go on the meds I start to feel better then after about a couple of weeks the skipped heartbeats start and I go off the meds. My doc. doesn't seem to know what to do with me. I wonder if anyone knows of anything that is natural that I can try? I am tired of feeling this way, I also cry over nothing. Had a hard life with a lot of abuse from Mother and Grandmother than later in life from bad choices in men. Well, that's where I stand right now. I hope and pray that God will give us all peace with this struggle.
God Bless all of you!
Nancy

What a great thread and Welcome to the new members. So good to see you posting!
It will make a difference in how you feel when you participated on this forum.

while reading the posts, I notice we all have a lot in common and one is that it is hard to handle the rollercoaster ride of depression. I would like to relist the following sites for everyone on skills. they do help if you practice them and make them part of your life. Ask your therapists if you are not working daily life skills to handle your depression. It is an important piece of healing and surviving.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_skills__defined_.html
http://www.dbtmind.com/
http://pdfreedownload.com/pdf/dialectical-behavior-therapy-workbook

I wish everyone a calm and peaceful day.
Trina

Oh Jennifer I could spend half a day talking about DBT and what it has done to help be deal with my abuse. Four members of my family were the perps for 15 years.

All I can say is that after 6 mos of "goinging through the motions" of the skills and using them only when I was going into a crisis situation; which did not help much. I realized I needed to make them part of my daily life, like breathing, and mindfulness. As a matter of fact mindfullness is part of DBT skills.

Once a person makes this distinction it is not hard to do or incorporate the skills that work easiest for you. Everyone is different and has their "go to" skills.

It does not change your daily life so much once you are in the flow, however it changes the roller coaster alot. You have more control, you can put a lot more space between you and monsters, emotions or flashback, whatever it is coming.

Jennifer, just realized you might have meant dating. Mostly I dated until it was serious enough for sex that found a reason to break it up. My is husband is one of the man I have had sex with in my life and I can count they all on one hand with change left over. To say I have trust issues is an understatement!

I believe my John was Devine intervention, been married 23 years, we are best friends.

I understand that "line" also, I always chose to be alone instead of cross it. It was to much of a risk for me.

I hope the skills help you. Wish I had them back when I was dating, I would have had more fun!

Peace
Trina

Thank you Trina.

I have done the opposite of you-I have had sex with way too many men and loved only 2 of them. At this point I realize I cannot have casual sex any longer. It was what set off my last major crisis. I guess I just feel isolated in the fact that I know no one like me-meaning vegan, bi sexual, don't drink or smoke any more, I don't watch TV and could care less about celebrities. I hate small talk and find it terribly draining. I want to find someone who like myself enjoys serious subjects, documentaries and books. It seems like a tall order, but I can't settle ever again. Being lonely alone is far easier than being lonely with someone else.

When I think of my last relationship I can see the desperation-thinking with time I could make him love me. Poor ****** is in his own depression now. I went over to his house a few weeks ago to see if I could get him to come out, no go. Time to let him go. There is nothing I can do to help someone who won't help themselves. I have known him for 10 years. Made the mistake of dating him twice.

For some reason I am ok on weekdays when I am busy with work etc. It seems that weekends are the hardest on me. I made sure to get out today, went to an art exhibit and then came home and took a nap as I was so exhausted. I made myself go to the gym though which helps some.

I am going to take your advice and try the DBT thing. It certainly can't hurt. I am also looking for a new therapist. It's been 4 years since my last therapy session-figure I got more to work on. Of course, the work is never done.

I suppose I should see how far I have come and feel grateful. 23 years ago I was wasted on drugs contemplating jumping off a bridge on a daily basis. I no longer want to die, instead I just want to sleep-seems like progress to me.

I don't mean to seem so glum, I am OK, just tired. I just need to focus on what brings me pleasure rather than mope around.

Thank you all for listening.

Jennifer