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Posted 3/13/2013 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
Feeling hopeless. :-(. Feel like mental illness keeps me from having what I want most in life. Feeling worse on meds. Feel like there is no escape from demons in my head
Posted 3/13/2013 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
But there is Evangelina,

Things are going to get better. If you have been on the meds for more than a couple of months and they aren't working, maybe you need to try something else. Keep talking you your doctor. Keep therapy sessions. Check the resource thread on this forum and see if there is anything there that can help you. And don't hesitate to call a crisis line if you need. I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/13/2013 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Karen.

By the way, I was adopted, too...adopted into a chaotic fundamentalist Christian violent family. Birthmother and i reconnected many years ago...she did not turn out to be a nice person.

Been on meds just 22 days.
Posted 3/13/2013 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that your birth mom wasn't a nice person. I can relate. And it sounds like the adoptive family wasn't easy either. I guess we have to learn to accept the past and put it behind us. Sometimes we have to go through things to get to this point. It isn't always easy. Do you talk to a counselor about these things? It does help. It helps to write things too. So posting helps. Keep trying, never give up.

Hugs, Karen...

It often takes antidepressants six to eight weeks to reach full potential. I hope that your medications work for you.
Posted 3/13/2013 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there Evangelina. We are here for you and we all understand how you feel. But, there is hope to feel better... just hang on......

Michele
Posted 3/14/2013 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Michele.
Posted 3/14/2013 9:17 AM (GMT 0)
sending many healings your way. keep strong.
jamie
Posted 3/14/2013 1:50 PM (GMT 0)
evangelina88

Many of us have horrid childhoods and find this out only later in life.

Terrible to deal with, but there are ways to deal and get on with life and handle the darkness.

Mindfulness if a wonderful way to stay in the present and deal with flash backs and emotional pain. Mindful.org is a great sight to start with.

Realizing that we are NOT our abuse is a great step in healing too. that we can move forward in our lives and become what we want and what we feel.

Keep posting, we support listen and care the best we can for each other on this site.

Stay strong, Peace
Trina
Posted 3/15/2013 6:41 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, JB.
Posted 3/15/2013 6:59 AM (GMT 0)
I did email doctor about switching meds...he suggested wellbutrin...not sure about wellbutrin because i have anxiety component...and I am very underweight...seems to make folks lose weight.

Yes...depression is a terrible life robber...i am fighting...so hard to fight some days.

The terrifying thing is the whole "hell" concept...which was a running theme in my childhood...my life has been excruciatingly painful and to think that when it's done there could be even more pain on the other side? I pray G-d has mercy on me and there will be peace and love and acceptance and respite.
Posted 3/16/2013 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Evangelin,
I feel your pain because I also come from an abusive childhood and adulthood. I am now 67 and it seems that I have more depression than I have had in years.....I retired and am lonely and feel awful, sometimes I don't even what to get out of bed in the morning, I think what for???? So you see there are a lot of us on this site that know what you are going through. There is no easy answer and sometimes I wonder if meds are the answer. I myself can't take them, my heart skips beats on everyone I have been on. I hope and pray that you find something that will help you.....if at all possible getting outside does seem to help me some...you don't want to be around people, I know, but just being out in nature and looking at the trees and the beautiful blue sky gives you a peaceful feeling.
Keep In Touch,
Jazzy
Posted 3/17/2013 12:55 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Jazzy...I am sorry for your pain, too. Wish it didnt have to be like this.

You are right about getting outside. I especially like to be outside at night time. The stars and the moon and the air...

Thank you for your message.

Evangelina
Posted 3/19/2013 6:56 PM (GMT 0)
22 days not quite long enough for meds to kick in. Some folks swear by Effexor, some do not (myself included) - everyone is different. Keep checking in with your doctor, may have to adjust your dose.

Adopt yourself, give yourself a new name.

evangelina88 said...
Thank you, Karen.

By the way, I was adopted, too...adopted into a chaotic fundamentalist Christian violent family. Birthmother and i reconnected many years ago...she did not turn out to be a nice person.

Been on meds just 22 days.

Posted 3/20/2013 8:14 AM (GMT 0)
h r u feeling today? keep strong and know that we care.

in kindness,
jamie
Posted 3/20/2013 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Jamie. I have been feeling stronger these last couple days. Exercising a lot...thank you for caring...I feel hopeful.

I wish life were simpler. :-)

I cooked a meal for my friend whose young wife is dying of lou gehrigs disease...they have three young children...I don't have any children...wish I could donate my body to her. Tears my heart apart.
Posted 3/20/2013 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
That is really sad. It was nice of you for cooking the meal. One day at a time.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/21/2013 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Karen....yes...one day at a time.
Posted 3/21/2013 12:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Eva
I am just getting over one of my dark spells so I am praying that you get relief. You may need to go up on effexor dose. I am on 225mg, but started at 75. Welbutrin worked great for me.

I CAN assure you that after our 3 dimensional existence stops, we move to a place of serenity, love joy and peace. I was given a glimpse of it many years ago and it restored my faith. Be comforted by that.

Keep fighting and I will too!!

Take care
Mags
Posted 3/21/2013 3:35 PM (GMT 0)
Oh thank you so much, Mags...this means so much to me.
Posted 3/23/2013 12:48 AM (GMT 0)
funny you should say that you like to get out at night....I seem to be better at night time than I am during the day. Everything is peaceful and quite, in fact some nights I don't go to sleep until almost dawn. I hope that you are feeling better, but since I am having a rough time also, I know that this is something that is going to take time to get through.....I have an appointment with my counsler on Monday and I started taking Celexa again, I hate the side effects but it does help my mood lift some. I will think of you at night as I look up at the stars and pray that all of us on this site will be blessed with a healing.
Jazzy
Posted 3/23/2013 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Eva

You are so welcome sweetie!

How are you doing today?

You are in my prayers.

Mags
Posted 3/23/2013 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Mags,

glad you are starting to see the other side of this bout of darkness. They are tough times for sure. Treat yourself with a walk to the ice cream store! LOL

Depression 180 welcome to the forum and thanks for book suggestions. Keep posting.

Peace
Trina
Posted 3/25/2013 4:51 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much, Mags. Thank from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. I have felt stronger these past couple days...heart doesn't feel as squeezed in a vise...knock on wood..:-)
Posted 3/25/2013 10:01 AM (GMT 0)
yay 2 u. keep being strong, and remember that slow and steady wins the race.

the happy turtle,
jamie
Posted 3/25/2013 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Eva

so glad to hear some progress...hang in there...we are here cause we HAVE been therre.

Hey thanks Trina-appreciate ALL the support from all of you.

35 degrees but gorgeous sunny skies

Happy day!

Mags

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