Husbands addiction to alcohol/drugs leading me to depression

I am 20 years old and my soon to be husband is an alcoholic and recently a drug user. At the time i knew he drank a lot but he always mannaged to put me 1st until about a year ago. The drinking became worse as his dads battle with cancer was slowly comming to and end. He never has been physically abusive but mentally it got out of control. Saying things such as, "I am the best you will ever have...no one will treat you as good as me....If I were to leave and move on a man could only want me for sex and nothing more." These words taunt me everyday. I begin to think hes right this is it for me, he is the best I am able to get. I left last summer and returned a month later, those taunting words brought me back, and too my surprise things began to get better. yay! I thought to myself, I finally have the man I fell in love with back until his dad passed and we had our 1st miscarriage. He began to distance himself from me when we needed eachother most or at least I needed him. He just told me yesterday things will get better. He claims to be done with the drugs and limit his drinking. I hope and pray he is telling the truth and this was just a phase due to his dads passing, but the damage of his words and the loss of our baby still weighs heavily on my mind. Dont get me wrong the relationship isnt all bad he is very good to me and respectful and fun when drugs and alc arnt present. I know the man he really is and want him ack that is why I dont leave.

Partly Cloudy,

So sorry to hear that your husband is using alcohol and drugs to deal with the grief and loss in is life.

I am worried that it will only get worse for you though. Below is a link and phone number for you. I suggest that you put the number in your cell so it is accessable anytime you need it.

http://www.thehotline.org/ National Domestic Violence Hoteline 1-800-799-SAFE(7233)

Karen is correct, his words mind nothing. He is hurting, so he is looking to hurt the next thing closest to him. Thing is, if he has gone to drugs, it will only escalate. Depression will become the least of your problems.

Take care of yourself, be safe.

Peace
Trina

I hope things get better for you soon.

Hugs, Karen...

partlycloudy2,

First I too would like. Welcome u here.

Your bf is out of control. At every opportunity he looks for an excuse to drink . This is part of his character. He has an addictive personality.

He will continue to blow up. This is not the man I would want as a father to my children. Sometimes u want people to grow up. It is not always the case. U must ask urself a serious question do I want to spend my life with an abusive alcoholic child?

This is serious stuff. U must understand you deserve better. Find a counselor to unravel this now so u will have a future. UR young.u have plenty of time for preparing urself for a better life.

All this advice above is spot on.... I will add they are nicer than I am but I have seen this type of personality ruin so many lives forever.
I don't want u to be another victim. You need to wake up he's mean really mean to say those horrible things to someone he loves?

OMG.... That kind of love is sick.... Let it go. Give urself a life....
He cannot give u anything. He is self centered, selfish and a child who will never grow up to be a responsible adult.

It's a choice u seriously must review with professionals. The advice given here is not lightly given. The experience of all of us has seen so many lives ruined over & over. We want you to believe in yourself take your life in UR own control before u are stuck with kids and no where to turn.

I have only the best intentions talking with u as if u were my daughter. We can all beg, plead with U over & over. Only u have the power to open UR heart to change. I say these things out of luv. No one deserves to be in the pain u r in especially from someone who says they luv u?

Hope for the future with all my heart & prayers,no more tears for YOU.

Peace & Healing