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I don't feel sad... maybe I don't have depression?

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Posted 7/29/2013 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
So as I mentioned in previous posts, my doctor has hinted at the fact that he believes I  that in addition to the anxiety disorder that I am already on medication to treat. I may suffering from depression. This confuses me, maybe I am just not well versed on what depression truly is but I always thought that depression = constant sadness.

  Admittedly, aside from my anxiety, I am often uninterested in things like going out to social events which I used to enjoy. I tend to be incredibly irritable to the point where even someone having a conversation with me is enough to make me want to scream. I don't sleep well AT ALL, don't have the highest self-image. I do sometimes have moments where I feel like crying for no reason, but its out of frustration NOT sadness. What the heck is wrong with me??

Posted 7/29/2013 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Honestly, for me, depression tends to feel more like overwhelming exhaustion, more than just pure sadness. Sure, I tend to get sad, cry, etc, but it's the feeling of "why bother" that I associated most strongly with my depressive episodes.

What kind of doctor are you seeing? Perhaps someone who specializes in psychiatry can give you a more clear diagnosis...
Posted 7/29/2013 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes we don't realize how bad we actually feel because we haven't felt good enough to have something to compare it to. Once you start feeling better you will realize you had depression. It would be awesome if you didn't though. I guess we can always hope.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/29/2013 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the responses.

 BeRock, the "why bother" feeling that you just discussed is definitely an accurate description of what I feel quite often. I have been advised  to see a therapist of some kind but haven't quite go there yet, my primary care physician is the one who suggested that I may have depression after our last visit (I had a bad day and ended up venting to him... A LOT). He then asked if I think I am depressed but I said no, mainly because panic set in and I felt like saying I am depressed was just admitting that I am crazy. After I said no I am pretty sure he noticed the look of fear on my face because then he asked how my moods are, if I feel sad often and how I am doing in general life as well as questions about my relationship (basically re-wording the are you depressed question to see if my answer changed).

Posted 7/29/2013 10:58 PM (GMT 0)
the panic is a pretty sure sign of depression.

Therapy will clarify what is going on and help you with your anxiety and focus.

Great first step to straighten this out.

Peace
Trina
Posted 7/31/2013 4:42 AM (GMT 0)
So... I did some research and found 2 therapists near me who accept my insurance and treat both depression and anxiety. Now the problem is I AM TERRIFIED to take that first move and make an appointment. I mean, maybe my doctor is wrong, maybe I don't have anxiety and depression and maybe I don't need to go talk to a therapist.., That happens, right? I need help learning to be ok with all this so I can stop feeling like crap.
Posted 7/31/2013 9:50 AM (GMT 0)
Do yourself a favor and go. It can't hurt anything. I know you think you may not have depression, but as much as you are worried about it, it sounds like you do have it. Keep moving forward. Make an appointment. Go and see somebody.

Hugs, Karen....
Posted 7/31/2013 1:52 PM (GMT 0)
My apologies to the last person who posted (I believe it was getting by) I accidentally deleted your comment... darn phone.
Posted 7/31/2013 2:37 PM (GMT 0)
she said to stay strong and make the appointment. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain. you can do this!

Peace
Trina
Posted 8/2/2013 8:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hey 1984,

I'm wondering if you took the leap and made that appointment?

It would be a big, huge deal if you go and find out you don't have Anxiety or Depression. Like, a night out on the town because that's great.

Either way, it sounds like you have some thoughts and feelings you need work through - and a therapist can help with that, too.

My therapist was telling me once about all of the different kinds of counseling she does. Did you know some people go to a therapist for help goal setting? Like, for jobs and stuff? So, it's not like the therapist is going to be rude or ask why you're there or something. ;)
Posted 8/2/2013 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi BeRock,

I have not yet made an appointment. I'm not even 100% sure what kind of therapist I'm looking for (psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, etc). I am already sure that I have anxiety as that was diagnosed years ago, its the potential depression that I am questioning (avoiding addressing). I actually have been thinking about this a lot lately.
Posted 8/2/2013 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
You need to start somewhere, even if it is a social worker, they all counsel, which is good. Do this for yourself, you are going to feel better. Often we don't realize how bad we were feeling until we start to feel better.

Good luck...

Hugs, Karen...
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