New-not sure what I need

Hi Lynda and welcome!!

I understand your loneliness and isolation. At my worst times, this forum was my only interaction and these folks saved my sanity. Just knowing someone is here to listen and care matters.

I am glad uyou finally posted and don't be a stranger.

You may very well need some med changes-be open w/ the doc/

If you feel like it, tell us a little about yourself. Are ya married? Pets? What works for you?

Come back soon

Mags

Thanks Mags. I'm divorced many years (since 1973) no children. I have a brother whom I saw a couple weeks ago for the first time in 7 years. He is not well but he recently has been a bit stronger and came to stay with me for a week. That was wonderful, but after he left I felt worse than ever.

I haven't worked much, my depression caused me to miss too many days. When I did work it was as a dental assistant or secretarial.

I have a dog, Nala, I got her from a shelter and love her so much. She usually, until lately, can get me out to walk most days. She is a chiweenie, dachshund/chihuahua mix.

I live in a senior community in so. California. There are LOTS of things to do here if I could only get myself out. I just feel exhausted all the time and in a bubble where I can't quite communicate or something.

Well, I made it to the market. Yay, me. Didn't get much but at least I have some food.

BnotAfraid, you reminded me that there is a support group in another town about 30 minute drive from me. I'll check to see if it still meets. I went to it several times a few years ago.

Driving there seems impossible right now.

Hello Cactusrose .....

   I have some of the same symptoms as you have ... and I'm close to your age. I've been divorced for over 20-years and do have two daughters and two grandaughters. Except for my dog, Gizmo (and my former dog Bear) I have lived alone formany years ... I know the trappings ... just simply not having someone to say hello to when you brihg the dog in!

   My depression the past few years has been due to my health ... forcing me to retire from my one-person home business over 2-years ago. I have no experience in medications for depression ... and have too much experience in medications for cancer. And there is much of the source of my depression!!!!

   It seems like you do like to write ... or if you want to call it journaling. And, I'm sure you know that's a good thing! It does help. And so does this Forum and the people who are a part of this Forum.

   You mentioned something about going to see a counselor or therapist or psycologist in a few weeks. I am a firm believer in a professional person to guide you thru some of lifes difficult times.

   You also mentioned something about a support group. about 18-years ago, I sort of hit a trifecta of misery .... my Father passed away, my business took a downturn and my ex-wife was giving me problems with seeing my kids as per the divorce decree.

   I found a psycologist (my first one ever) who I went to for a year or slightly longer - and amoung other things, she showed me how much I needed to interact with other people - for my own well-being. I did, with her suggestion, join a non-denominational church sponsored group of divorced or widowed people - 50 years old or older.

   It started with small groups just communicating ... then into larger groups with similar targets as the AA twelve-step program ... and then into inspirational speakers at each major group meeting. There also was arm of the organization that focused on purely social functions - dances, dinners, one-day trips, etc.

   Even though the program was divested from that church close to 10-years ago, there was enough interest amoung 50 or 60 regulars to start a new group that was motivated for social functions only - dinners, one-day trips, music concerts, plays, etc. To this day, it still is in existance and is a source for many of us to get together with a friendly group of faces. In other words ... to get away from the TV!!!

   I would highly recommend the counselor ... and thesupporting group should be at least given a try.

   Good luck to you.

Rob

 

Hi Cactus Rose,
I can relate to what you are going through completely. It seems that when you get older its almost as if you become non existent, especially when you live alone. I am 68 and retired a couple of years ago and its been all down hill since. I have no friends, they have either moved away or have died so I am left alone. I know what my problem is, I'm lonely. I go for days talking to no one, and we weren't made to be hermits.
I know that I could volunteer or join a reading group but when you are this depressed its all you can do to take a shower or want to get up in the morning.
I have a young lady that does my grocery shopping and cleaning for me, which at least I don't have to worry about that, but this is not the way I want to live. I thought I would love retirement but I hate it and as far as a part time job goes, who is going to hire an old lady, the young people are having a hard enough time getting jobs.
To bad we don't live closer to each other, we could go out for a cup of coffee and chat. I'm 68 and live in New Hampshire. Well I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through.

Keep in Touch,
Jazzy

Hey Lynda

I just turned 60. I worked and had a social life up until my illnesses overcame me in 2005. Then Katrina and lots of other bad stuff and one by one, I havbe lost the  few friends I had. I can honestly say that my family here are the only friends I have )and I feel blessed to have them). Also blessed  with a hub and a 17 yo daughter.She is flying the coop soon enuf.

I am close to my family but they are faaar away and busy living their lives (the nerve of them-lol)

It is so frustrating when we know the steps we need to hekp ourselves but, the nature of the diseaae itself makes that so difficult. We all know we should be exercising, eating right, interacting with others, serving our community (isn't that little old ladies do?-lol)

I'm proud of you for making it to the market-don't belittle your accomplishments. For us, that is a good day!!!

Talk to you soon

Mags

CactusRose-

You are not alone anymore. I used to feel like no one in the world understood how I felt- then I found this forum. Everyone here is so kind, compassionate, understanding, and supportive. I will never feel alone again because I know I can come here.

I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. Remember to try and do little things for yourself daily. This really helps me.

Sending love your way!
Michele

Welcome Rosie!

Yeah for dog walking this day! Animals are a great way to make sure you get out the door periodically.

I don't think tramadol could be contributing to this depression, IMO. I have been on it for years and years, for fibro and enteropathic arthritis pain. It doesn't do a durned thing for my headaches, but there are different kinds of headaches.

I am 44 (a baby), partnered but childless, recently quit my ungodly university job and am now looking for work, which is stressing me out. Hope you get in to see your therapist soon! I am looking for one in my town that takes sliding scale, since my insurance went kaput at the end of August. Finding one has been harder than I had hoped. But, steps forward are still steps forward, even when occasional I stumble and fall back.

Have a great rest of your day! You are heard!

Hi Lynda,

I hope going off of the tramadol helps you. My husband use to take it for sleep. He doesn't like it though.

I am glad that you like your new psychiatrist. That always makes a huge difference how things go.

Keep posting and let us know how things are going.

Hugs, Karen...

HI CactusRose! First I must tell you that I am 84 on the 17th of Oct. I do think we have a Jazzy older group. I suffer from anxiety/depression. This is a wonderful place to help you with your loneness. They have a lot of idea's and you'll make friends. Hugs, Dee

Finally, I am up to posting again about how I am doing. It's been a hard few weeks but I am much better, at least today I am better....am just hoping it lasts.

Instead of adding to my Lexapro or changing to another antidepressant, my psych had be first quit the tramadol. Even though I was not taking much and only one a day for awhile, it apparently is toxic for me.

Then two weeks later (I see him every two weeks) he had me quit my nightly seroquel. I've been taking it for sleep for 4-5 years. Only one-quarter or less of a 50mg tablet, but it REALLY put me to sleep....apparently another drug I am super-sensitive to.
I am not having as much trouble sleeping as I feared, I do have trouble getting to sleep early enough and wake up early sometimes, but I feel so much better in general it is certainly worth it.

I'm learning about "sleep hygiene". Trying to wean myself off of having the computer and the tv on until I"m sleepy-with no seroquel that just doesn't happen, I stay wide awake. So working on changing that habit, without much success yet.

Today I took a long walk and could have kept walking a lot longer. It is a beautiful morning windy and clear, the mountains are gorgeous. I haven't enjoyed my walks like this for a long time. Strangely, I have LESS pain from my peripheral neuropathy now that I don't take the tramadol. I think it was a case of my taking it for temporary relief, but it was causing rebound pain. I still have the pain of course, but it's a little different, hard to explain.

Hoping today is not just one of my sporadic good days. I call them "teaser" days. In any case I haven't felt this good for a couple years at least. Haven't even had a teaser day for at least a year.

I see a therapist once a week. She has given me a simple goal each week, something to accomplish so I feel good about it, but something very simple. Last week I took my dog to get her nails trimmed and then we went to the "bark park" and I actually sat with some other people and talked! Such a simple thing, but it is amazing how good it made me feel. This week my goal is to get my hair cut.
I think I'm so fortunate to have found this psych and this therapist, actually I didn't find them, they were assigned to me by my HMO.

Thank you all who responded when I first came here. It helped me keep going when I was so far down I couldn't see up. I'm sorry I disappeared but have just not had the words...when I am really down, I usually find it very difficult to open up. I'm sure most here understand that.

Lynda

Question: Should I start a new thread? I posted this here on the old one in case anyone wanted to know my "history". Thanks.

Hi Karen,
I quit both meds, tramadol and seroquel, with no tapering needed because I was on such a small dose of each. The seroquel is not addicting, but if I had been taking a larger dose I would have had to taper I'm sure. The amount I was taking is actually very very small.
I quit the tramadol completely a couple weeks ago, then quit the seroquel 12 days ago.

It's not that I don't want to post when I'm feeling bad, I really do want to desperately, but just cannot seem to do it. It's like I have no words. I am the same in real life, I can't talk to anyone except to psych or therapist. I 'think' it may have to do with being afraid of stirring up feelings I can't deal with and being in a spot where I have no one to help me. Pure speculation on my part.

Lynda