HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

depressed after a success

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 12/13/2013 8:23 AM (GMT 0)
Hello,

It's been in a while to come into HW. I am on prozac 20mg x2 per day and CBT for a month now. I improved very fast and i felt quite well,i tried to do my best at the university and i felt satisfied with myself until today. I passed my written exam yesterday and i just came from an oral exam which i passed but im very very depressed. I only got a 5/10,so its just a pass and i feel humiliated and depressed and angry with myself.I think im stupid and unworthy.As soon as i stepped out of the university i started crying. I hate me,im such a loser cry

Post Edited (jeoch) : 12/13/2013 1:51:47 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/13/2013 10:57 AM (GMT 0)
HI JEOCH,

YOU DID WELL. WHEN I WAS AT UNI MANY NOONS AGO I WAS FAILING, SOME PASSES, THE ODD CREDIT AND 1 HD. BUT I WAS SO UNWELL THAT I GOT SPECIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THEM, THEN I DEFERED AS I WAS A MESS. THEN I QUIT. 2ND YEAR IN. I HAVE STUDIED SINCE BUT LOST THE PLOT. HEY A PASS IS A PASS, YOU DID WELL. UNI AINT EASY. I WAS A MATURE AGE STUDENT WHEN I WENT IN. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU SEEK SOME SUPPORT FROM UNI STAFF, THEY ARE THERE FOR YOU.

YOUR DOC CAN WRITE ON YOUR BEHALF IF YOU NEED ASSISTANCE. I UNDERSTAND YOU WANTED BETTER THAN A 5/10. MY FIRST PAPER I EVER DID WAS A FAIL. MOST EXAMS I JUST FROZE UP. I AM GOOD ORALLY BUT NOT IN EXAMS WHEN PEN AND PAPER IS REQUIRED. YOU DID WELL, KEEP POSITIVE. UNI LIFE IS VERY UP AND DOWN, I LNOW IT WELL, WORKING, CLASSES, LECTURES, TUTES, PAPERS ETC. I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU SPEAK WITH YOUR DOC AND OR A COUNSELLOR. KEEP STRONG. KNOW THAT WE CARE about YOU. DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF.

WITH HEALING COMPASSION,
THE HAPPY TURTLE.
Posted 12/13/2013 11:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hey jeoch,

Congratulations on passing :-)

You are unworthy or a loser. You went in and you passed your exams. You should be proud or yourself. You studied, went in the exam room and did you best and you passed. Your hard work paid off. Treat yourself for passing.
If you want a better mark, can you write it over? I know for some courses we can do that here.

Remember, you should be proud of yourself.

UA
Posted 12/13/2013 12:10 PM (GMT 0)
Jeoch-

Hello my friend!

You are not a loser or a failure. Getting the score you did is ok. So you didn't live up to your expectations- don't beat yourself up about it. The world beats us up enough that we do to need to do it to ourselves. Write this off. You passed- that's what matters!

You are a fine, smart, beautiful person. Just keep repeating this and eventually, it will stick and the negative will go away.

Sending hugs-
Michele
Posted 12/13/2013 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
Please don't beat yourself up over this. Keep trying, never give up...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 12/13/2013 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
Pass is a Pass my friend. We can not be great all the time. Accept your limits with your expanses! Enjoy Uni and I would take some of Jamies suggestions to heart.

Peace
Trina
Posted 12/13/2013 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your encouraging words. I want to let you know that i already informed my university psychologist about my depression and because i was really anxious when i got to know that my oral examiner will be the same as last year and all the bad memories came into my mind and i asked the psychologist if it would be better if id talk to my examiner before the exam and say that i have some personal issues and i want her to be patient with me so i wont panic and so we did. The uni's psychologist suggested to talk to my examiner in behalve of me and she ended up telling her that i have depression and i ask her to be nice with me and patient but i want everything to be fair at the same time,no exceptional treatment.When the psychol. talked to her told me that she was very understanding. I have to admit that after she gave me only five i thought that she was treating me in a different way,that telling her about my situation wasnt a good idea,that i only humiliated myself and that she might misunderstood my intensions and she was punishing me. Before the exam i was feeling quite satisfied with my knowledge but she was somehow making me tricky questions to confuse me and mark my answers as half answered and value that only as 5. The face,the expression and the way that examiner talks makes me think i am stupid.
Posted 12/13/2013 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Naw. The expression is usually just a professional, listening one. I know the expression--I often have it myself. Really, professors are not out to get you. Their job is to advocate for the discipline, not the students.

Changing questions would be frowned upon. Usually, their wording is determined in advance, and is very specific.

I would add that you might just be upset about the experience rather that critically analyzing what really went on. Don't overthink. Be happy with your pass.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply