Introduction

My name is Pat.  I am suffering from severe depression and general anxiety.  I have been unemployed for 13 months, and my wife and I separated a year-and-a-half ago.  I have been looking for work ever since I was last laid off, but so far, no luck.  Perhaps I'm doing something wrong.   I am going to try to sell my house in order to buy a little time and have a little extra money for expenses.

Anyway, I read of this community in the book The Depression Cure, and thought I would give it a try.  I have very few personal friends here where I live, in the Kansas City area.

If anyone has any suggestions as to how to get passed a failed marriage and loss of job, I will be happy to listen to your advice.

Thank you for reading my introduction.

Sincerely,

Pat B.

What book are you reading in your book club?  I have been told many times to keep my mind on the future.  But it's easier said than done, isn't it?  I am not giving up the job search.  I CANNOT.  Besides for financial reasons, I'm selling the house because it is "haunted" with memories of happier days when a family of 4 lived and loved here.  Sometimes, that's too much to bear.

I appreciate your reply.

Pat

   As someones t-shirt once said .... "been there ... done that"!

   I was divorced over 20-years ago - and with two daughters. I did spend some time alone in review of "what the heck just happened"! Then, for me, when the time was right, found and joined a group for divorced and widowed people that had three levels of structured support groups, monthly speakers and some degree of available social functions. It used to be called Phoenix ... and chapters were all over the U.S.

   I also, at about the same time, found a talk psychologist to see on a regular basis for .... some problems with my x-wife, my father just passing away and some serious work-related problems. It was an excellent decision to see a good psychologist for their guided direction.

   I can understand the difficulties in staying in a home that became a house with many previous good memories and now filled with a degree of emptyness. If it would be of financial benefit to sell - then all the better.

   I have been out of work myself several times - mostly because of my profession and how it relates to recessions. I can only imagine that it was someone from work that told you to "keep your mind on the future"!

   Frankly, that's a pile of crap! It may be a great "gung-ho" technique at a job when management is trying hard to push for production. But, in everyday life ...... stay in the present! It is the best way to move ahead! the best way to deal with todays' problems is to stay in today!

   Again ...... a psychologist can help tremendously - and a support group should help when you're ready for one.

   Stay in the present, protect your rights as a Dad, find some qualified professional help for your personal life - and with your job hunting ..... try the SBA as a start. I spent two hours or so with the Small Business Association (SBA) years ago - and the worst thing that can happen is two hours of your life spent with them. It may help to give you some direction to meet with them.

   Best of luck to you. And congrats ... for reaching out!

Rob & Gizmo

  The depression thing.  I to am going threw it a bit.  Have a few Chronic illinesses.  Chrohn's and a thing call Charcot Marie Tooth Disease.  Neither of them of life threatining but their are no cures for either of them.  Going to see a doc about how i have been feeling lately.  (like to stay home and feel like crying sometimes.  That is not me.  I usually have the attitued.  IT COULD BE WORSE.  for what ever reason that saying not working.  So i am going to something about it.  Good louck with your job hunt and the depression.  Bill W.