Posted 7/24/2014 3:23 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Thundercloud,
It's always so nice to here from you. I'm glad you got a chance to take advantage of the weather outside. I have been here for many years but I still kind of hate the summer heat, I don't like the 80's much and I can't stand the 90's and then add in the humidity and the pollen and I dread going outside.
You're right we are close to being twins! We have so much in common. So you've had a dose of the judgmental Mom's too, I ate that you had some bad experiences with other Mom's. I've had a lot of people give me the why do you have an only child third degree or lecture but that speech from that retired teacher has always stuck with me word for word for some reason. The way she described being able to pic an only child out of any class seemed so sad. Then she had been a teacher for so many years I guess I figured she must know what she's talking about and my daughter was only 3 at that time. Sometimes I don't say much and depending on how I'm feeling a few times I've blurted out my GYN medical issues what I went through just to get pregnant, how I was told it wouldn't be possible and all I went through with a high risk pregnancy they felt really small and kept apologizing, so sometimes that shuts them up but it's personal and hard to talk about. I've just blurted out a few times out of frustration.
You sound like a great Mom and you're right, you have two daughters and I wouldn't feel a need to explain that to anyone. I think you made the decision that was best for you as far as having one child, I think a lot of people don't really think about things and just keep having kids and then since they have multiple kids they think everyone else should. I think it ay be okay to ask someone if they plan on having more kids, that's a kind of common question for some but I think it's rude to inquire about why they're not or why they haven't.
I'm sorry that you would cry and cry by yourself and yes I know the longing for family truly does hurt, I still react that way but I'm glad that you have gotten stronger and it's good that sometimes you;re able to tell yourself to stop it. I still don't do well on holidays I try to use coping skills and focus on other things but I always find myself being pulled back into that pain and hurt of not having family.
Your daughters don't have grandparents, aunts, uncles or cousins either, it's crazy how I always feel like I'm the only one in a certain situation. I know that feeling of seeing other families together and wishing you had that. I'm glad that your adopted was okay for a period of time, I'm sorry things changed but I'm glad you were able to have things okay for some amount of time.
Yes I have pets, I have a tropical fish aquarium and I have one dog.
Thank you for saying that you are here for me, that I'm not alone and that you care about me that really means a lot to me. Thank you for thinking of me that truly means so much to me.
I'm sending hugs right back at you!