Hard to get through a day

I want to say a little about the few major issues I am concerned about the most which, I believe is related to bipolar and depression disorder. When I am out in public talking to someone else I am able to get my mind off of myself I am to function somewhat. The issue is that when I am alone I don't do anything for myself. I used to enjoy a computer game, working on getting my Cisco Certification for future job opportunities, and play the electric guitar. Now all I seem to want to do is "shut down". When I shut down I basically give up and either put my head down either on my desk or it will look like I am meditating while sitting in a chair. So my only relief from that is sleep. I have been dealing with it at this level for a couple of years now and I am tired of putting on a happy face for everyone. That is not what I am at least at this stage of the game.

Now on to the medication. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar type 2 disorder and depression which is linked to the bipolar disorder of if I'm not mistaken. I have been seeing a physicist for many years but for awhile there I basicly said I am done trying to find the right med. So when I went for a checkup I said things were going ok. Until one day I couldn't take it anymore I told him I couldn't deal with this problem anymore. I can't keep a job and I am in the process of losing my current job. I am focusing on what I am on now because it has been a long road in terms of meds. Currently I am on 40mg of latuda, 300 mg of lymictal, and 1000 mg of depakote. I am on my 4th day of latuda and I have high hopes for it as my physicist thinks it may work well for me. He said it may take 1-2 weeks to start working. I hear it's different for everybody.

One of my biggest concerns I want to address is that horrible depressed feeling with the so called shut downs I experience (anyone deal with anything like this?) where I can't concentrate at all and put my head down (when I am by myself), and my inability to keep a schedue as it is never a consistant day for me. Also the ability to think and recall names better would be awesome. There are one or two other ones that I can't think of at the moment probably because I can't concentrate, haha. I deal with this stuff everyday and I can't remember simple things, errr.

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. If I were you, I would work on mindfulness. It helps you think clear, and helps you to not feel overwhelmed.

I am sorry this is short, will write more in a bit. I just woke up. Sorry...

Have a good day.

Hugs, Karen

Hi there,

Welcome, you are in the right place as people here truly understand what you're going through.

In my severest depressions I would completely mentally shut down, also didn't want to move or talk to anyone, would just sit....or wanted to sleep all the time.

Going out and about putting on a happy face....that's so exhausting isn't it.

Definitely stay on the meds and keep in close contact with your Dr, very important, it can get better I promise.

You must take such good care of yourself, A. because you're worth it and B. this is the time to really do that so you can get well again.

As I mentioned, I was shut down and it took time on the right med and dosage to start bringing me back up.

Don't put pressure on yourself to put on a happy face for everyone, it does help to smile that's for sure and to get out but you just be yourself, you know what, you're not feeling well right now.

I tried so many meds, years on some, get plenty of quality rest if you can, i know it's hard, try to do something or if you just can't one day, that's okay too. Some days when I was on the road to feeling better I could go out for a walk but other days I just couldn't make it so would lie on the couch and watch a movie and didn't feel bad for it! :)

Make sure you're eating healthy foods, I know for me that's a biggie, I swear I can eat goodies for a few days and will be in tears, happens every single time.

Walking out in nature can really help too, even if you put on a really interesting program/movie, that's okay too, don't put pressure on yourself, it all takes time.

Please let us know you are ok? many hugs coming your way....

Mk88

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