HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Anti-depressants & add on drugs

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic locked
1 2 34 5
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 8/3/2014 11:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone,

Yeah its a really weird feeling and I dont feel it so much if I am engrossed in something but it takes a lot of motivation for me to do things because I feel so disconnected from my thoughts and the world. Consultant said that should ease up once the tablets start finding the right level and I really hope this is the case so I just need to keep going. The feeling that you are going insane is prob the more scariest feeling I have ever had in my life. No matter how many times I tell myself I am not going mad, its really hard to believe when my head is all messed up.

Anyway I am sure I will be okay as the chemical levels stable in my mind.

Sorry HFO that you did not have a good day yesterday, I really really hope you have much better ones to come. :)

Hey Jan, I do have hobbies like playing racket ball and reading about stuff and watching movies but it is very hard to when I feel spaced out, I normally end up just sleeping as its the only time I am at peace. How are you today Jan?

Hey Karen I think its a busy mind but I am not sure lol....how are you?
Posted 8/3/2014 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
I am good Sean... Yes a busy mind is good. As long as you are focused on what you are doing. Random thinking isn't always good. Maybe you could study mindfulness in the meantime while your tablets are working on working... lol... I really hope you stay feeling well Sean and can move on with life. Being disassociated is no fun.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/3/2014 7:26 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you are okay Karen, I did do that mindfulness for a bit and I had mixed effects but then the detachment feeling got worse and I stopped doing it because I was too intense and mixed up to even start. I may try do some tonight because I do still have the app on my phone. Tomorrow is two weeks on the highest dose of Cymbalta so still early days and I am hopeful for the future.

Have you had a nice weekend?

Sean
Posted 8/3/2014 9:30 PM (GMT 0)
I have a very good weekend Sean. Let me give you a little tip. You can achieve mindfulness just by taking time and paying attention to what you are doing. Easy as that.

Good luck and I hope that the medication continues to work for you... Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/3/2014 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Sean,

Keep trying the mindfulness, it takes time, when I first tried it my mind couldn't do it, kept looking over here and there, "What's that noise? I'm thirsty...." :) now I'm much better at it, when I feel myself getting upset and have worrying thoughts I go right in to it, was amazed the first time it worked! brings you right in to the moment.

Two weeks on the Cymbalta...hope it works very soon, all my fingers toes and my dog's paws are crossed....

Have a peaceful night Sean....hang in there...
Posted 8/3/2014 10:29 PM (GMT 0)
Ha, Thundercloud--your pooch is very talented! :)

Saw your other post and am sorry you're in so much pain. Please do take a break and rest, have a hot soak, and use your heating pad...not necessarily in that order.
_____________
Sean, you DO have plenty of interests! But, boy, I understand. There are many things I'd like to do--even something as simple as accomplishing my short list for the day--but my fatigue gets the best of me, besides aches and pains.

So, you and I have different issues, but they're both kinda paralyzingly. Does that make sense? I'd give just about anything to feel part way like I used to.

Today, there have been a few threads I've wanted to write on, but...I haven't. Pitiful!!!

Take care of yourself, and enjoy the good moments.

Jan
Posted 8/4/2014 2:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,

I tried the mindfullness tonight, my wandered a fair bit as I had not done it for a while but I need to do it more so I can give my mind a break from all the worrying about if I am going to get better or if these tablets are going to work so I am going to try do it on a daily basis.

Sorry you not feeling good Thundercloud but always good to hear from you.

Jan I really don't want to accept that I will never feel the same way I used to as that is a scary thought but I can accept that this would have changed me for the better and I want to make a career out of helping people who suffer like us.

I just woke up and its like 3:38 am here in London but my room is baking, time for the fan I think lol
Hope you all sleep well.
Posted 8/4/2014 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
What a positive attitude, Sean! You're absolutely right.
We cannot give in!!!

Hope the fan creates a nice breeze!

Jan
Posted 8/4/2014 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sean:

I'm hoping that the tablets start finding their way to the right level for you so you can start to get rid of the depersonalization. It's good that you tell yourself that you are not going mad, that is something positive and you may need to say it a bunch of times but it's good that you're able to tell yourself that. You are doing positive things.

I'm also glad that you're hopeful for the future that is such a good way to feel and it's a sign of strength!

I'm glad that you're giving mindfullness a try to take a break from all the worrying and I hope that it helps you and eases your worry and anxiety some so you can feel better. That's great that you're going to try it daily, that is so positive and proactive!

I hope the fan cools your room off, things are baking on my end too.

Sorry I didn't get a chance to get on during the day but you were in my thoughts.

I'm sending hugs your way!
Posted 8/4/2014 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone,

Today has not been such a good day and I had to take 1mg of Clonzepam as the anxiety was pretty bad earlier on. I feel a bit calmer now but still spaced out. I have this book which is especially for people with depersonlisation and feelings of unreality and it uses CBT to help deal with it so I am reading that and trying to the exercises too. It states that if we think about something so much then we can often think it is getting worse but it is often just our mind playing tricks on us.

I have been thinking I am going crazy since the bad anxiety attack in Feb and I am still here fighting so I am not going crazy, I have just let this overwhelm me too much and take over my life so maybe I should try getting back to work even a few days a week to take my mind off it and then it will hopefully go away quicker.

How you feeling HFO, Karen, Thundercloud, Jan & Banana's?

Sean
Posted 8/4/2014 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
Sean, I am glad that you are doing the CBT exercises. It is a really good way to help yourself! I am very proud of you!!! Yes the mind is very powerful, but we can train it to work for us and not against. I think that this is really going to help you. There is also another helpful book on CBT called "Feeling Good" by Doctor David Burns. It is an older book but good.

I am doing good today thank you. Hang in there. You are going to get there!!! And you aren't crazy. If you were, you wouldn't be worried about it...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/4/2014 10:04 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen, its really tough trying to concentrate when I feel so weird but the tablets have not kicked in yet and even if they do, I dont know if they will take away the depersonlisation anymore. I would not wish this feeling on anyone as it is a daily battle but now I know(although I should have known before)that I have to get out and do stuff as much as possible as that is the one way it will go away. The two times in the past I had it, I went back to work and it went away quick but this time I have hidden away pretty much and let it eat me up but now its time to do something about that.

I been taking Cymbalta at highest dose for only two weeks so maybe I am being impatient but I have felt like this for nearly 6 months now and I am so so tired but I won't give up until either I die or go insane and none of them are things I want lol

Glad you are doing good today Karen.....hows the weather there?

Sean
Posted 8/4/2014 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
The weather here was beautiful today, a little hot, but not bad. I will take it as autumn is just around the corner here. The nights are kind of chilly, good for sleeping.

I can understand you being in a hurry to feel better, but I do think working on the cbt and mindfulness will help you. Focusing on other things. It just seems like when we are waiting for something, it always seems to take forever. Have faith... You are getting there...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/5/2014 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sean,

Checking in to see how you're doing, sorry yesterday was not good.

You could try to go back to work a few days and see how you do, worth a try.

I am much better now thank God! had a few down days but fought them :) been on my increased meds for almost a year now so I suppose a few bad days thrown in there is not bad at all and I'll take that :)

Karen's so right, you're not crazy or you wouldn't be thinking about it!

Let us know what you've been up to today? big hugs....
Posted 8/5/2014 6:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Thundercloud & anyone else reading lol

Thanks for message, I have felt really down again today and I emailed my consultant who actually replied this time and he said to give it a few more weeks which is agony to hear because I am just so tired of it all now. I asked him if he could add on something to make my mood improve but he just said to wait and then they could possibly add on something called Lamotrigine 50mg but not yet.

I guess he wants to see if the Cymbalta highest dose does the trick on its own before he adds on anything else. I am counting the days I have been on the highest dose and it's up to 15 right now but I was on 30 mg for a week before that which is a weak dose so would you even count that week?

So glad you fought your bad days and got through it Thundercloud, you are an inspiration to me.

Hugs back x
Posted 8/5/2014 7:26 PM (GMT 0)
Sean,

Give it six to eight weeks total before you give up. Is there anything you can do to get your mind off of the medication and how it is working? A watched pot never boils. You really need to set it aside, put it on the back burner so to speak. Find something of interest and do it. Are you still reading the CBT help book? Keep reading it, even if you finish it, read it again. We have to be proactive. We have to keep doing things to make us feel better. Go for a ride, to the beach... Check out the library, or a coffee shop. Do something with your time. Live life... Just stop thinking about how you feel. I know it is hard. It is a part of you, it is right in front of you but you got to look through it. Keep on living. Find something you enjoy today. Do it for 30 minutes. See if you don't feel better. Even if it just means cleaning a room even though you may not enjoy it, but your mind needs to be focused on constructive things.

Give it a full eight weeks before you change things. You got to give the medication a chance to work.
Posted 8/6/2014 12:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Karen,

Thank you for message. I think the problem is the last two times I took anti-depressants when they did work, they only took a couple of weeks so I guess I am just worried that a, they are not going to work and b, this depersonlization is an actual disorder and will not be temporary but the consultant thinks its part of the depression.

I didnt do much today but tonight I went to visit the hotel where I do my gigs just to be around people as I know most people there and I felt better being there talking to people as they took my mind off it. I am going to perhaps drive to the coast 2moro as my friends are down there in a caravan and I was meant to go with them but I felt down and did not want to bring them down.

What part of the states are you from again Karen?

Sean :)
Posted 8/6/2014 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
Awesome Sean!!! I am glad you went out. I find it is hard for me to go out but I always feel better that I did. That is a good coping skill...

I am from Michigan... It is the mitten state. Looks like a mitten. There are two parts to Michigan. I am in the northern lower part. We have lakes all around us. We are surrounded by water on three sides so they call it a peninsular. I am in the lower peninsular. We have hard winters compared to other places in the US... It is getting harder for me every year. Maybe move south in the future. We'll see. I think about that more and more these days.

Sean, I am so proud that you went off and got things to go off of your mind. Keep doing that, eventually you wont notice the depersonalization anymore... Good job!!!

Take care and have a good night.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/6/2014 11:03 AM (GMT 0)
Michigan sounds really nice, I would like to live somewhere that has harsh winters as weird as they sounds as I love snow ha.

I don't really like living in London as its just too busy so eventually I want to move somewhere in the country as I like a bit of piece and quiet.

Thanks for encouragement, I did feel better last night for going out for a bit. I have not long work up but I am going to go out and do something today although I have no idea what lol

I hope you have a positive day :)
Posted 8/6/2014 11:37 AM (GMT 0)
Sean-

How's today going (even if it's rough)? I love what Karen said "a watched pot does not boil." I forgot that saying and it's so relevant to many of us wondering and waiting if our meds are going to work.

I had a rough day myself yesterday. I felt down and scared, frustrated & alone. My evening got better after my friends texted me, a friend stopped over and my husband and I went out to dinner. Oh I also bawled buckets of tears and that surely brought some relief. I even called my psychiatrists nurse and she consulted with the psychiatrist with my concerns that that 2 weeks on the Wellbutrin add on should be working or not. It's been 2.5 weeks for me with the addon. He did not want to make any changes and wants me to give it 2 more weeks. I have an appt on Aug 15th and said adjustments or changes could be discussed then if need be.

Just like you, the times I had this in my past (3 times), I took a pill and was better within a month or 2 so I'm just as frustrated as you. I had high expectations like you, that this time would be no different.

I was actually ON an AD that had worked well for me for 6 yrs (Cymbalta!) but felt it could be improved bc I felt some anxiety creeping back in. That med change in February wasn't ideal and I've been on the med dance since then. I haven't had the depersonalization the whole time but enough to be upset by it.

I talked to my psychologist and psychiatrist about it and they both said it's common w/anxiety & depression, WOULD lift and people who have it are NOT or will NOT go crazy. They said it is uncomfortable and upsetting but NOT harmful. We ARE coming outta this. I feel it deep in my soul even though I too am not where I'm comfortable yet.

Sending peace and comfort!

Lisa
Posted 8/6/2014 8:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Lisa,

Really good to hear from you. Sorry you had a crappy day yesterday but I am glad it ended well at least. I have read a lot about Wellbutrin being used as an add on when somebodies anti-depressants are not working so doctors must use that a lot but it has not been offered to me yet. My consultant wants me to wait about 3 more weeks to see if this cymbalta 120 mg kicks in so all I can do is wait and try to make the best of things which is not easy with the depersonalization. I am trying really hard to get out as much as I can no matter how alien my thoughts seem to be or how disconnected I feel but everyday I seem to have a weirder feeling that makes me think I am losing touch with reality but like you and my consultant said, you cannot go crazy from depersonalization no matter how much you think or feel like you will.

How come they took you off Cymbalta instead of upping the dose maybe?

Hope you are having a much better day today Lisa

Hugs

Sean x
Posted 8/6/2014 9:02 PM (GMT 0)
No idea why they didn't try to up the dose first. Kinda wish we'd have tried that route in hindsight... But I said I'd like to try Zoloft bc my friends took it with success. I was on it a month and had some bad panic attacks which I hadn't had in years, and so it was not a good fit. So they put me back on Cymbalta, upped it to 90mg that time. No changes. So added Abilify. I think that may have helped some but not much so I stopped it. Finally in June they switched my AD to Pristiq. Was on it a month with no huge change so they added Wellbutrin 2.5 weeks ago. I'd been feeling decent til yesterday and today my mood is so low! Both days have been gray out too. My anxiety hasn't been too bad and the depersonalization isn't terrible, it's mostly just feeling down and depressed!

I do have some major things going on- my BFF is moving 2 hours away in a couple of weeks. My other 2 close friends moved last year and this past March. I'm one who needs a friend or 2 close and I just feel so lost. I'm trying to get involved in more things and I know I'll get through this but like you, I'm frustrated that in my past, an AD just worked for me and I was back on my feet in a month or 2. No med dance, no combinations, just "take a pill and get better quick." I'm SO OVER all of this. I know you empathize LOL.

Sending peace,

Lisa
Posted 8/6/2014 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa,

Are you very proactive with your mental health? Such as seeing a therapist, working on mindfulness (and meditation), or reading any self help books? Sometimes medication alone doesn't always help. Sometimes we have to work on things too.

You may just be having a bad couple of days, it happens to all of us. I hope that is all it is... I hope that you feel better soon...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/6/2014 11:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen!

Yes I see a therapist every week and a psychologist every other week (lol)! And I'm practicing mindfulness and doing yoga and exercising. I'm doing "everything" I should/can do & hopefully it'll all fall into place very very soon :-)

Thank you!

Lisa
Posted 8/7/2014 6:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone,

Last night was a real low point in my life and felt so unreal and detached. I am trying to work out if it has anything to do with the sleeping pills I am taking so last night I only took half and I will see how today goes. Its scary me how close I have become to giving up especially when I read of people who's anti-depressant's have worked so quick and are not leading a normal happy life, I mean I am happy for them but jealous at the same time.

I am only taking max clonzepam per day of 1 mg but most days not even that so I don't think that would be causing it but who know's. I felt okay the other night and I am sure it is because I only took 1 x sleeping pill the night before but on my worst days I think I took a sleeping pill during the day too and an extra one at night because I could not sleep.

I would be really grateful for all your prayers because I am so disillusioned right now with myself and life.

Thanks so much and I hope you are all okay :)
✚ New Topic locked
12345