Feeling very low

Call for some help. Right now.

Does your doctor know you decided to quit taking your drugs? Is there a plan to transfer to something else?

Call your doctor.

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
www.teenhelp.com/teen-suicide/teen-suicide-help.html

I took my Zoloft this morning and a Seroquil to sleep. I feel a bit better now. But still low. I just want to feel better and be able to function. I'm going to try to sleep more and call doctors office today. But there's nothing they can say or do. It's just a struggle.

Hawk, many of us have given you advice in the past. Have you followed up on any of our suggestions?

You don't need to apologize at all! I think we can all attest to the fact that when any of us has been down, it takes a lot of work to get back up.

And, you HAVE made progress! Great that you called the hospital to change your doctor. And if by some chance, they don't return your call today, be persistent. This is urgent. This is your life.

Are you continuing with your support group and/or a therapist?

One more . . . changing your meds. I might have missed something, but it seems that you added Ativan and Zoloft to the Seroquel and Remeron. Adding them doesn't seem to have helped you; they seem to have added to your sleepiness, right?

We're all looking forward to the hospital calling you today with an appointment for the doctor you had heard good reviews about! And even if it's not an appointment with that particular doctor, ANY change of physician is going to be a fresh start for you.

We all want the very best for you, Hawk.

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way--

Jan

And when the hospital calls you, PLEASE tell them you need an appointment asap--like today if not sooner. ;)

I hope they call and can get me to another doctor soon.

I know the depression is ramping because I have to go back to school. I fear that I won't be able to do my job. That my depression will make me weak. That I don't have what I need to do the job.

It makes me want to call my principal and tell her I can't do it. She knows what in going through, but that doesn't make the job any easier. I feel like such a failure.

I appreciate the support, but nothing can substitute for what needs to be inside of me.

Teaching is hard, there is no doubt about that. But that decision of whether you go back or not can happen later.

Today, what is important is getting the help you need. As soon as possible.

Don't let this become self-sabotage. If you wait to talk to a doctor, the odds become more in favor of work not happening. This is one step at a time.

I really do think that the balance of meds in your brain is precipitating this plunge.

It's not your fault.

Really, you are not to blame.

Nope, I can't let you think that.

My family has a genetic predisposition towards anxiety and depression. However, that does not make me weak. And if I let this genetic tendency towards A/D take hold of my life, I look for something to help me manage my condition. I thank my sister when she documented the family tree. I thank my father and his sister for documenting what can happen. I thank my BF for his patience and care (even when he gets mad). I thank my first psychiatrist for the medication that allowed me to get through my sister's death and my mother's masectomy. I thank my... you get the drift.

But this is strength, sweeting. You are strong.

You are fighting. What else are meds and therapy? You are posting on a depression board!

You are seeking the help you need. We cannot do it alone, ya know. No (wo)man is an island, and all that jazz.

I have needed to run to the pharmacy all day. I have no more of one med left. My pharmacy closes at 5:30. Here I sit. I put on gym clothes, and here I sit. I did dishes and cleaned the kitchen and cleaned the leather couch and went through some job ads. I know I need to get out of here, and get away from the phone that I am willing to ring with a job offer.

So, hugs. You are not wrong. You are trying and fighting. No pile-ons. No blame or pointing fingers.

Hawk,

No more self defeated talk, okay??? Try to think positive for awhile. You are trying, that is all we can do. Worry about the job when it gets here. If you can't do it, can you take some time off? Use the time in between to get your meds regulated. See the doctor asap. You need a break from all the worry. You need to let your mind rest.

I am afraid that you are getting yourself in a panic. Can you meditate? Meditation and mindfulness helps in these situations. Don't allow yourself to worry about anything for five minutes. See if you don't feel better.

Relax... Take a few deep breaths. Try not to think...

Hugs, Karen...

I SO feel your pain Hawkeye, talking to any crisis line is not going to have them come pick you up(unless you say something that they see as harmful to yourself).

I have called before, and just having someone listen to me and not be judgmental was a huge help, that is one reason I find this forum such a blessing.

Your battle is real, but you are worth the fight. I am honestly going through a similar situation and I can identify and empathize with you completely.

Please know you are cared for greatly, that your worth is so much more than you know, and if you had to call the hotline 50 times in one day to get by then that is what you should do.

I know my insurance has a nurse hotline, and I have even called them, they are awesome at reassuring you and listening, sometimes we have so many built up feeling that we need to tell someone and we don't want to let the ones close to us know how we struggle, that it is nice to talk to an impartial person, and we wonder why therapists make the big bucks.

Be well my friend! I SO wish you the very best!