post abortion depression

Hello Kittens,

Post-abortion depression is SO REAL. It is one of the reasons some pro-life supporters are so passionate about their stand. The emotional damage done to many women through abortion is way underreported because the women feel too guilty to complain.

I hope you will be able to discuss this openly with your counselor. It is very important for you to work through your feelings. Could you allow yourself a "do-over"? Make a decision in your heart/mind how you would handle the same situation if you had it to do again. You can't undo what was done, but you can decide what you would do with the same situation if it happened again.

Prayers, hugs and blessings for you sis!

 Hello Kittens,

I am so sorry to hear what you're going through.

You're right abortion is a very sensitive topic and please don't worry about what others think about it. Nobody has a right to shun you for what you choose to do. The law gives you the right to choose regardless of other people's opinions. Anyone with an ounce of human decency wouldn't shun you knowing that you are suffering even if they didn't agree with your decision.

I have heard of this and have heard that it is very real. I believe that it is similar to the feelings of any depression, hopelessness, sadness and despair. I often feel depressed because I feel like I made a "bad" decision. I have learned to tell myself that I made the best decision at that time, though I might make a different decision at a different time.

I suffer from chronic daily migraines and my husband is often frustrated because he can't fix them and doesn't understand them. I know it's not exactly the same, but it's similar. Our spouses don't want to see us suffer and feel even worse if they feel like they had a hand in our suffering. Keep telling him you love him and that you don't blame him and he'll understand eventually. You may also want to tell him that you don't need him to do anything except be there for you right now while you work through this.

Good luck!

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I have dealt with the same situation in a different manner.  I had a son 10 years ago that I gave up for adoption.  It was an open adoption, so I know where he is, and in the beginning it was a wonderful situation for us all.  However, I married 8 and a half years ago, after getting pregnant out of wedlock AGAIN.  At that time, the adoptive parents became angry with me because they were afraid of the feelings it might cause for "their" son, wondering why I gave him up and decided to keep my second son and get married.  One very important detail there is that it was two very different men who fathered my each child.  The first urged me to get an abortion, or just to stay away from him.  My husband, on the other hand, was happy to be having a child.  Though my marriage has worked out very well, my heart aches because I have lost contact with my first born, and who knows how he feels about me.  I am a "pro-lifer", however, I don't ever want to hurt anyone who has had an abortion.  The pain of dealing with that choice is more than a person should have to deal with.  I am sure that no one makes a choice like that without heartache.  God knows that there were many people in my life who saw me as cold and uncaring for placing my child with parents who could properly care for him in a way that I could not.  And God also knows that of all the things I needed at that point in my life, what I did not need was someone else condemning me.  That's how I feel about those who have abortions.  I hope that you find the love and support you need on this web-site and in your life.  I pray that God heals your heart and blesses you.  He can make a bad situation turn out beautifully.  The parents who took Daniel for me were nearing 40, after which you can no longer adopt through the agency I went with.  They had been pregnant with a child of their own, and lost him.  So Daniel needed them and they needed him, and maybe, if it's God's will, someday I will be able to explain my choices to him.  Best of wishes and prayers for you and your boyfriend.

God bless!

Dammy,

I am sorry for your pain.  I hope that things get easier for you.  What a heartache you must be dealing with at this time.  I will pray for you, for your body and heart to be healed and for peace and blessings for you.  Again, I am so sorry.

I am at a loss as to what to say to you.  I myself am not well, though I am heading for my doc appt. tomorrow afternoon - THANK GOD!  But if it helps to know that there is someone out there who is not condemning you for your choices (as we all make some that we look back on later and realize weren't for the best), and that there is someone praying for you, then know that I am here.

God bless!

Well, kiddo, it sounds to me like the clinic or doctors where you went for the abortion did a poor job of pre-counseling you and your boyfriend. Don't blame yourself for anything you've said or done to him since then--honestly, blame the place you went. They have a moral obligation and probably a legal obligation to ensure that the pain you are suffering now is as minimized as possible. It doesn't sound like they did their job.

The skin slashing thoughts suck. Some one in the forums says that putting ice where you want to slash may help keep you from doing that. I don't know whether it works or not. It's probably a form of mini-suicide, like the girl, who chops off her hair to punish herself. You don't deserve to be punished. What you are thinking and feeling needs to be attended to, not punished.

The best way to right the wrongs that you feel you've done is talk to your counselor about it. And a smart way would be to drag boyfriend along for support. If you didn't get good counseling by the people who performed the abortion, he didn't either, so he might need a structured place to say what is on his mind too. The mental suffering won't go away overnight, but it will lessen a whole lot quicker, if thoughts don't get all jumbled up with other issues.

bev