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Battling the Darkness

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Posted 9/12/2014 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
I would like to share this past week with my HW friends.

It has been a very dark and dangerous week for me.

Started last Saturday, hour by hour, facing that darkness.

Grabbed my coping skills, my PRN medications, hid in bed with my dogs cuddling me and YES my teddy bear.

By Monday I was dressed for 4 hours in the afternoon, progress. Talked to my therapist on the phone.
Reaching out to those that you know will help in any way, is important.

Over the weekend and during the long week I emailed, [could not skype, not strong enough] a few close friends.

One person from my depression support group called to find out where I was. This was a shot in the arm.
Again, proving to me support groups are vital!

Made an appoint to see my therapist on Thursday because I was not much better. Went and saw him in ratty sweat pants, old T-shirt and dirty hair, well not that dirty. Used mindfulness to drive 40 mins to his office.

Today I am better, dressed by 10am and planning on going outside the house to pick up my husbands Chef jackets at the dry cleaners. I may just treat myself to some ice cream. That means entering a store.

My dangerous thoughts are gone. I am shakey and worn, however in one piece and home! I never landed at crisis thanks to all the coping skills and my PRN meds; MOSTLY my skills.

The battle is won, my family has lost once again. Never, Never, Never give up, keep working the coping skills it does get better. I promise.

I wish you all peace, comfort and strength
Trina
Posted 9/12/2014 3:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Trina,

Glad to see coping skills and mindfulness and medication helped you. It is hard when we get that bumpy road but we make it through with hard work. Good to see you post about it, that in itself is hard.

Hang in there sweetie...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/12/2014 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for sharing Trina. You're an inspiration to continue to practice mindfulness & coping skills.

Here's to a peaceful weekend for you.

Hugs,

Lisa
Posted 9/12/2014 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
Congrats on your win.

Methinks there are ups and downs constantly, that darkness and light exist upon a continuum. It's always a question of more or less, and what is the shade in the present moment, knowing that tomorrow will be unimaginably different.
Posted 9/13/2014 12:04 AM (GMT 0)
Glad to hear you are doing well, wish I learned coping skills, I'm sure that will possibly come up in my therapy.

I see people mention "mindfulness", what is that exactly?
Posted 9/13/2014 12:17 AM (GMT 0)
All mindfulness is, is focusing on the now. The ever present. Paying attention to what you are doing in that moment. It is easily done, and eventually becomes automatic. But it does take practice and when we do have that rocky road, it is easy to lose sight of it. But with working on it, you can get that back. Get a book on it. It is really easy to do...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/13/2014 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds some what like the zen teachings, they kind of believe like that, that every thing is space and focusing on the present.

I will have to read up on that for sure! Thanks Karen, and hugs back to you.
Posted 9/13/2014 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
It is Zen like Brenda! I'm practicing myself but I forget to a lot and it's a habit that needs practiced. Mindful.org is the site Trina recommends to start with.

Brenda- check out the resources on the top of this forum or the anxiety forum. They really are helpful. Again, practice makes perfect and I can't b that role model at the moment bc I have put off my homework lately blush

Hugs to all!

Lisa
Posted 9/13/2014 4:26 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Trina, it seems that you knew to take care of this situation with your heart and mind, along with your furries and Teddy Bear. Dad can be in charge of the rest for a while.

You are always so strong for us--thanks for sharing. Roll slowly and easily into the weekend.

Love--
Jan
Posted 9/13/2014 7:34 AM (GMT 0)
with love and healing compassion. from me & sleepy head. keep strong.
Posted 9/13/2014 11:40 AM (GMT 0)
Many places offer workshops in mindfulness, and it can be useful to be lead through the basics.
Posted 9/13/2014 11:43 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Myself! I was going to google mindfulness groups in my city but had forgotten! Doing it now.
Posted 9/13/2014 7:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the support! It was rough, however Mindfulness I have to say did make it a whole lot easier. How to Train a Wild Elephant is a great book to start with Brenda.

Peace and Hugs
Trina
Posted 9/14/2014 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
keep well mate.
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