My turn for support

Hey lesweet...I feel your angst and frustration.  I know that the way you're feeling tonight, Friday seems like forever.  Can you call your doctor's office for an earlier appointment?  For tonight, can you listen to some soothing music through your ear buds?  or perhaps do some light reading?

It is SO VERY frustrating to find the right meds or combo of meds to battle depression and/or anxiety.  I have taken Zoloft 100 mg daily for 15 years with Ativan for anxiety.  I've not increase my Ativan in almost 30 years.  It's an OLD drug, but has been my salvation.  As for Zoloft, my PM has recently suggested an increase to 150 mg daily.  I am willing to try the increase, as I've felt the darkness creeping more heavily into my thoughts.

I am hopeful that you will find a way to meditate and relax, eventually fall asleep tonight.  Rest rejuvenates the body and makes our world look different through rested eyes/mind.

Hugs~~Dixie

Hi Lisa,

I sure do hope you find what is right for you. I see some people are trying Brentillex, maybe that would work for you too.

Know we are here for you. I am actually up way too early, couldn't sleep.

Hugs, Karen...

You are welcome Lisa.

I know that the Xanax helped you to sleep. But I learned that it doesn't let you get into stage 3 and 4 sleep. I took it at bedtime for a long time. Wasn't dreaming. Wasn't getting refreshed sleep. So I stopped taking it at night. Now I dream and usually enter the stage three and four sleep. So try not to take it every night at bedtime.

I think you do good at keeping your mind busy. And you will continue to. I hope you find the right med for you. It is so frustrating not to.

How are you doing with your one friend leaving? Do you get to speak with her much? I hope so. I hate when a close friend moves away. It is so hard to not be seeing them on a regular basis. I hope you are doing okay with that.

Take care and have a good day today.

Know we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen...

Thanks friends!

Karen, I've only been taking one .25mg Xanax/day for awhile now. Haven't had to take 2 for some time. I remember you saying that abt sleep months ago but last night I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep lol.

One Xanax has been enough for me for a while now. The only reason I take everyday still (there are days I need it but somedays I don't), is bc I'm afraid of withdraw. Not sure if I'd have that with .25mg but I have been taking it for 4-5 months daily so I assume if and when I do stop, I should taper. That's been the least of my worries getting off Xanax. I just want my dam AD/combo to work. When it does, the anxiety will get in check!

I've been ok w/not having my friend here. We have texted or talked every day, just like we used to when she lived 5 minutes away.

I'm actually going to see a new therapist on Thursday. My old therapist I liked and have seen him off & on for 6 yrs but this year I felt it becoming stale. I still like him but I think our time ran its course. I stopped going about a month or so ago.

The therapist I chose (randomly from list insurance provided), is a man too. I wanted his wife but she's having surgery and will be off work for a bit. I talked to him on phone and he said depression and anxiety is right up his alley so I said sure, I'll try you out lol. I don't have any trust issues with men. I'd have preferred his wife just bc I'm a woman and I like women to women "bond", but I'm willing to try him out. Plus they're in a convenient location to my home.

I'm going to stay busy and productive today & hope to have a better day! Going to look into mindfulness workshops around my city too. I found one and emailed them. Think I'll give them a call.

Hugs!

Lisa

Hi Trina & thank-you.

I've had bloodwork done- basic panels plus thyroid (and the t3 &t4), vitamin D. Everything is normal but the D was foud to be low in April so I started on 5000 vit D3 in April. It would be nice if I could blame it on a treatable medical condition. I don't wish any medical condition but this Merry go round on psych meds is a new & frustrating experience for me.

I know I do much better when I stay busy doing productive things and being social and helping others.

I called psych today to see if there was a sooner appt than this Friday w/the NP I see but they're booked. I know they'd see me sooner if it was urgent but I didn't push it bc I can wait. Just impatient and if I'm going to start a different AD, I wanna do it now & not wait til Friday lol. But I'm learning patience so I can wait.

This morning I'm scrubbing both of our bathtubs with a new natural concoction I heard about- vinegar and dawn dish soap in a spray bottle. I added a little water too. Potent smell bc of the vinegar but boy it works like a charm and no caustic chemicals.

It's gray & cold here today & those days are hard when feeling blah already.

Trina- what state are you in? Do you have children, I can't remember?

Hugs to all!!!
Lisa

Lisa, Lisa! You poor woman. Just a thought, but would you want to try and see your doctor while you're feeling okay, in case a situation like the last two days rears its ugly head again?

Sure am glad you had the Xanax on standby to help you sleep.

Speaking of vinegar and Dawn dish soap, my husband is big on vinegar, and uses it "straight" to clean many, many things. You're right about the smell, though...

Take care, Lisa. Oh! Is your neighbor home from surgery? Very nice of her to send you flowers. You've been a special friend.

xxxxx
Jan

Ps: Jan, thank you for asking abt my neighbor. She may come home today. Physically she's healing ok but emotionally she's been having panic attacks bless her heart. God knows we know about those! She's on medication and it's helping her. Funny, she's 68 & her doctor still prescribes her Xanax, even at her age. I guess they think the benefits outweigh the risks. She's got bad lungs (never smoked!), plus asthma on top of bad lungs and is often on oxygen.

Anyway, thx for asking abt her. As soon as she gets home, I'm making her my homemade potato soup. She has to eat soft food (her surgery was esophageal hernia) & I made it before for her and she loved it so I think more is in order.

Lisa

Hi Lisa,
Friday, 9/5, i had a really, really bad day in terms of my depression. I barely got my 8 year old to school and then sat in despair and considered what hospital i may check into or maybe a depression recovery center as I felt hopeless. Couldn't go to work..i went swimming, my go-to, but it didn't help this time.

I decided to wait on making a decision until i saw a psychiatrist the next day (saturday). On the way there, while my husband drove I openly cried and prayed. The psychiatrist was wonderful; he spent hours with us on his day off. He agreed that after 7 weeks of lexapro, i shouldn't be feeling as bad as i was, and wanted me to taper off (1st week 10mg, next 5mg, then nothing) while starting the viibryd pack. He switched my ativan to clonozopan, and added 1mg of abilify.

That Saturday and Sunday, i felt foggy and dazed. For the last several months, i was not able to sit down, but i had no choice and i think i needed it. Sunday night i felt good enough to go swimming and while there, i had a craving for a cheeseburger (I've lost 45 lbs since all this began), so I had one. Every day since then has been subtly better and today for the first time I woke up early, exercised with my husband, did yoga on my own, made breakfast for my kids, got my little one to school and have been productive at work ever since (on lunch now). I feel 98% normal. I don't know what's helping me. Maybe the lexapro really didn't agree with me (horrible side effects) this time and reducing helped, maybe the Viibryd (which i really haven't had many side effects except RLS which is going away) is kicking in, or maybe abilify is making the anti depressants work better. I don't know but I hope it lasts.

I see the psychiatrist this Thursday to discuss abilify (supposed to be temporary - only on 1mg), tapering off clonozopan (not sure I'm ready for that yet, but i know i've forgotten several doses so maybe i am).

My first major symptom of depression/anxiety started April/May and I just was in denial. It's been a very long several months. I didn't think i'd make it through or ever get better. But I did and I hope it stays this way. But even if i have some down days, at least I know I'm capable of feeling normal again.

I no longer have loss of appetite, diarrhea, ear clogging, shakiness, sexual side effects, and the anxiety has reduced tremendously. I have read magazines, a book, and watched some TV and I never thought i'd be able to concentrate enough to do that.

I'm exercising daily, probably for 2 hours each and that helps a lot too. Trying to curb the cravings as I am getting some, but gave in to a little bit of ice cream the other day.

I have been and will continue to pray that you will find the right combination of medicine and that you will feel wonderful again. It is possible and 10 days ago, you couldn't convince me otherwise. My 17 year old son bought me flowers and chocolate and held on to me saying that he just wants me to smile again. And i tried but could barely do it.

Please also pray for me that my recovery continues. I'm still at a point where sometimes i think, well, what if the lexapro was starting to work and now I'm tapering, but then I remind myself of how awful i felt on week 7, and i think that's very unlikely.

I got on/off lexapro & paxil for years and never had issues. They always worked within a month at the most, but i felt improvement right away. This time was definitely a challenge.

Good luck to you. May God be with you.

Oh my sweet friend-

I sent you a FB message.

You know it took me over a year. And yes it was a miserable year. But looking back now, I'm so glad I didn't give up looking for the right combo.

I feel ok now most days. Still have my down days but for the most part, I'm good.

I love you, sister, more than you know!!

Sorry Lisa that you are going through this, I also play candy crush and sometimes it is an anxiety reliever and sometimes it gives me anxiety(especially when stuck on a level for weeks) :)

I wish it was just simply that one medication worked for all, I have to say this brintellix seems to be an amazing medication, once my doctor upped me things started changing drastically. I was a little antsy at first, but I was more me than I have been in a very long time, for some reason(and don't ask me why) I seem to find things so much more funny now, I spend more time laughing than crying and feel a sense of hope in a situation that felt hopeless just over a week ago, so it has to be the medication because nothing in my home life has changed, yet. , but me and even in a chaotic situation I feel a sense of peace and handle the stress way better, yes I am still human and had a very bad panic attack this morning, but I see progress, I actually feel happiness again and that is a big change for me.

I want to hope it is just not some freakish storm of hormones rushing through my body that is boosting me for a short time , but I will cherish these days.

I hope you start feeling better, you are always such a positive person, I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom that I could speak to you, but you are an over-comer and know you will be better. Take care my friend.

Lisa I started out on 10 mg's and when I went to see my Psychiatrist last week he said he needed to increase it to 20 mgs, he is a little worried because they changed my insurance, but gave me some samples just in case. I'm not sure what the therapeutic level is supposed to be on this medication, the dr only told me that people that went on 20 mgs did much better, and I believe he is right.

Glad you are doing better, and hope you have a wonderful day.

Is brintellix similar to viibryd?