How to cope when your best friend has a boyfriend

Hang on to the fond memories. They are priceless. Life is full of all kinds of changes. And just when you least expect it. So know that there are more good things coming... It will get better I promise...

Hugs, Karen

Plus the fact that this guy is her first boyfriend. To be honest, i dont feel that the guy is good enough for her.

I get into arguments with her because of her boyfriend. I really don't want that but it spontaneously happens.

Hello,

I was just googling on how to deal with this deep sadness of feeling lonely, because my best friend has a boyfriend. She's more like a sister to me. Our families have grown up together and married into each others family. We call each other sisters, everyone who knows us thinks we are sisters. Two years ago we were both in relationships at the same time, with two best friends. So it was fun going on double dates, not to much changed cause we were always together the four of us. Needless to say those relationships didn't work out. We've both been single for a little over two years now. But now she's dating a guy and it's starting to get serious. It's been super rough, we live together too so it's hard to get away from it. I want nothing but the best for her and want to be happy for her. But something about this guy isn't sitting well with me. I've taken the time to get to know him and he seems like a good guy but just doesn't fit the bill to me for my bff/sis. I mistakenly told her this and it's been uncomfortable sense. We've argued about it and I hate it. I don't want to push her away but it seems that's all I'm doing. She went away on a romantic weekend with him, which she's never done with any guy before. I'm worried she's falling real hard. But who am I to worry, I mean she's not my kid? I'm glad I'm not alone on this topic, I started to think I was the only person who has this sad feeling of her best friend having a boyfriend and feeling like I'm going to loss her. Out of all of our friends, we are the only two who are (were) single. Now I'm the only one left and it's such a terrible feeling. I know I have to take it one day at a time and keep busy. I've been on many dates, just not having any luck. This sucks big time! Thanks for listening!

Thank you so much Karen, I'm working on being happy with whatever happens!

Of course he is allowed to have a girlfriend, it is his life. You are acting as if you own him. You don't.

I suggest you talk to somebody. You sound like you could have control issues. It is normal for your friend to get a girlfriend and get on with life and you shouldn't be resenting it. You should be doing the same thing.

Get over the neediness and clinginess. This isn't healthy for you or him.

It isn't cliché to say find something to do, go on with life. It is only natural. Make new friends, get a hobby. You need to do that for yourself. In life, things change, you have to adjust to that. It isn't going to stay the same forever.

Do something for you. To move on. You are going to feel like a third wheel if you don't. Or a side kick. Don't be possessive over your friend. Don't resent them for being happy.

I hope that you feel better soon. You sound like he is doing you an injustice, he is just getting on with his life. You should do the same...

Hugs, Karen...

I didn't mean to sound harsh. You will have your life too. You will meet somebody along the way. But you do have to let your friend live his life so he doesn't end up resenting you for anything.

Things change in life all the time. We go through happy times and sad times. And things don't always work out the way we expect. Take it one day at a time. Enjoy your friendship with your friend and his girlfriend. But don't meddle. They may stay together, they may not. You never know how things are going to go.

Life goes on and we move on. Enjoy life as much as you can...

Hugs, Karen...

welcome PP to the forum.

You appear to be young. I would NOT worry so much about having boyfriends at this time of your life. education and experiencing other cultural adventures seem to be more exciting.

Peace and enjoy life
Trina

Hello!

Reading the posts in this thread makes me think about what my friends may have been feeling when I stopped going out with them. My boyfriend did not want me to continue seeing them because he thought that they were irresponsible. I regret that twenty years later.

I'm new here. Just can't resist reading this thread.

Welcome Venar,

Try not to regret the past, everyone has done something that they do not like now or would have done differently.

You are not alone.

This is how we grow and become more compassionate people. Today we are lucky to have Facebook and all the other media in that if you wanted to reconnect with those friends you can try. You were all kids[younger] chances are they would be happy to hear from you.

However, do live your life for yourself now. Each moment counts.

Peace
Trina

Hi there everyone. I saw all that you guys have posted and this really scares me. I've been best friends with someone for 15 years now and all we've ever known was each other. She recently got a boyfriend, her first one. So obviously she is really happy about it but she's always been the type to never gush about it or nonstop talk about a guy. I'm happy and all for her but at the same time I feel left out. The other day her boyfriend was coming over and well I don't really like him. I told her to text me when he leaves so that I can come over and we can have a sleepover. She was excited about it and told me okay. So I waited and waited for a text and I never got one. So I was upset sort of and texted her goodnight. She didn't respond until the morning saying that her bf didn't leave till like 3am and that she was sorry about it. She's never been one to blow me off so I was hurt and upset by it. But she hardly sees him because he lives 30min away so I got over it. This Christmas eve I went to go drop her gift and when I was walking up the steps she came out and told me her boyfriend was over. (Mind you she didn't end up going to her family's Christmas party and stayed home) I feel like whenever I want us to hang out she's always busy with him. And non stop texting him all the time. To be honest I never went through something like this and NO i do not have a weird lesbian crush on my bestfriend but she's been like a sister to me and I miss us hanging out all the time and I feel like this bf of hers is going to change everything. She tells me it's not and that I'll be her first priority no matter what because of how long we've been friends but at the same time I don't know whether to believe her. It sucks and I just need some advice I guess . Anyone feel like helping me out . I just miss my bestfriend.

Hello...
This topic and all the comments were really helpful to me..

I know this kind of jealousy is totally a personal problem. But anyway, one can't help but feel bad about that.
I would love to read even some professional or specific advice that can help, but your life advice will be really helpful too.

Things is that me and my best friend are really really close. for about 3 years, we have always solved everything together, and passed everything together. I should admit that i have the problem of being a bit possessive. Anyway, our friendship is really to intimate...

When she previously had a boyfriend, she started talking about him in such away she used to talk about me...
She knew my problem, that I was jealous of her and we both suffered really much. (after 2 months, she broke up)
She is the kind of friend that doesn't react bad to my problem, but she tries to understand me.
You know the thing? SHE HAS NEVER BEEN JEALOUS IN HER LIFE.

Unfortunately, we still haven't figured out what to do, because I just can't be the same if she has a boyfriend in her life.

Thanks a lot Karen.. :)

I know things change in this life...
The problem is that I really CAN'T handle the idea or the fact of her having an important person in her life, since we have always been something in between, more than friends... the kind of too intimate friends, cuddling and hugging...
It is just a big feeling inside of me that makes me behave cold and be distant :(