Hello. Having a rough time.

This is my first time posting on this particular board, but I've been on a couple of others. I've had depression for years, about half of my life at this point. It has come and gone. I've been having trouble lately because of my physical health not being that good (undiagnosed problems on top of Crohn's disease which is flaring up, and migraines) and being in a job that I need to get out of (and it's not just feeling crappy, I really have given it a chance and discussed it with my boyfriend and other people, and they agree with me). I'm too sensitive a lot of times, so things just get me down more.

I have a therapist, I'm on meds... It just feels like I have too much to deal with right now. I think I do, but I don't know what to do about it. I can't take time off from work right now unless a doctor is insisting on it or I'm in the hospital. I'm tired and sore all the time.

I guess I'm just kindof venting...I think I had something more in mind that I was going to say here, but I'm tired and just can't remember. I know the worst of it will be getting through these next two weeks because of work stress. I can catch my breath after that, but I'm not entirely sure I'll make it...although honestly part of me wants to avoid it all so much that I'd kindof like to wind up in the hospital. I know, not healthy thinking. But I'm not going to be negligent with myself to make that happen.

Hello Elektrikhd,

I am sorry you are struggling so lately. You do have a lot on your plate right now.

I am wondering if you should talk to your therapist about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). It is really easy and helps us so much... It changes our ways of thinking to make life easier. Think about it...

I don't know a lot about Chron's myself... I do understand chronic pain though. It sure doesn't make life any easier. I think, as Lisa said, diet can play a major role in this... And getting a complete blood work would help too.

Know we all care about you here. Keep taking it one day at a time and keep trying. This is an especially hard time of the year. We are all trying to pull through it together...

Hugs, Karen...

Thanks for the replies. I'm so tired of trying to deal with things on my own. And as great as my friends are, some of them don't really get it. So already this is a nice change of pace. Sunday nights (when I first posted) are always bad for me, too, because I'm looking at that whole week ahead of me, but I can't do anything about it. As much as work sucks for me even now, once I'm actually doing something, it doesn't feel as bad usually. (I'm most of the way through work right now, on my lunch break.) I checked in with a friend last night (who does get it, thankfully) and I realized that I'm also no good at the whole "take it one day at a time" thing. So probably something else for me to discuss with my therapist, especially since the Crohn's and migraines and now the aches and fatigue can make life unpredictable for me.

Lisa,
I've been a little lax on my diet admittedly. Overate on Thanksgiving. I've been playing it safe since then, except that I'm also just not eating much...barely anything today, in fact. I keep ensure around for times like this, though.

I haven't seen my GI for 2-3 months, and he's booked solid until the 30th...I'm going to call again to see if anything has opened up and they haven't called me, or if someone else in the office can see me sooner, since it was a couple of weeks ago when I last spoke to them. I saw a dr in the family practice I go to a week or two ago and got blood work then...cbc, thyroid, b12, vit d, maybe some other things. It was all normal, and I looked especially at the b12 and D. I'm not sure if my iron was checked, but I can look when I get home...I would think it would've been one of the things on the list. I was borderline anemic a couple of years ago and corrected that with a multivitamin that contains iron, which I still take. In the spring my vit D came up deficient, and I've been taking a supplement for that since then. Those and B12 are common deficiencies for Crohn's patients, though, so I will definitely have to keep an eye on them.

I'm currently taking Viibryd 10mg for my depression, which I started in May. It hadn't crossed my mind to try adjusting that, so that'll be something for me to consider, whether increasing the dose (I know there's room to go) or adding something. It certainly helped when I started it (it reaches effectiveness faster than a lot of the other meds out there, or so I was told and experienced).

Karen,
My therapist does use some CBT, and that has helped a lot with the anxiety I was having. Some ways of thinking I had developed that at one point were kindof useful had turned into a way of more than stressing me out. So those were good tools for me to start recognizing that, and then get to stopping those ways of thinking.

Trina,
I haven't tried meditation yet for pain management, but I have done some in general along the way. I meditated during an MRI and found it to be a breeze--won't be nervous about the next. I've heard it recommended sometimes for Crohn's, I've just usually not had too much trouble. I'll have to look into it later, my lunch break is over.


Thanks everyone, it's good to know there are people listening.
- Luc

Thinking in terms of one day at a time, teaches us to stay in the present moment. It keeps us from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. It really does help. Dwelling and worrying get us nowhere, they just make us anxious. So do try the "one day at a time" thing if you can. It just takes practice as the meditation does also. They are related, when you meditate, you are in the present moment just as when you take things one day (one moment) at a time. It is all about staying in the "now"...

CBT also correlates with that. By learning to control your thoughts. I think it will help you a lot...

I just have to say, "the sun is out!!!". Yay!!! It has been so cold here today. I just had to state that...

I hope you feel better. Keep posting. Enjoy your day at work...

Hugs, Karen...

I'm definitely going to talk to my therapist about taking things a day at a time. Next appointment Wednesday, so not too long to go on that.

I can usually be present in a moment if I have something to focus on...an activity, a game, a movie, intense music when I'm in the right mood, conversation, a book. Although some of those things can be distractions or escapes, too. I've also had times where I find it hard to concentrate or even get started because thoughts about one thing or another occupy me too much. At least that's not too often.

It was fairly grey and rainy here today, but I don't mind it. I tend to like overcast weather.

I've pretty well gotten the hang of my problem foods for the Crohn's. I was able to handle pizza on occasion if I took a lactase supplement to take care of the cheese. I know most of my migraine triggers now, too. A couple of foods I've found so far, mostly it's weather, sleep, and stress. So, I think it's fair to say I've given myself a couple of migraines quite directly, stress-wise, like the one that started while driving to work this morning.

I'm always happy to go home after work, at it's at least something I can look forward to.

I really need to believe in things improving, and feel it. It seems like a distant thing and I'm not sure how I'm going to get there. So I'm worrying over how to get through things, and what I need to do (and how to then do it) to get things better.

I get ocular migraines on occasion. The eye doctor told me the three "c's" to avoid... Caffeine, Cheese and Chocolate. My three favorites!!! Eye strain causes me migraines. I don't get the headache, but the ocular effects are very bothersome... I see colored patterns...

I hope you all have a good day today...

Hugs, Karen,........

That is good. I only had the pain a couple of times, and it was horrible, so I know how it is... Dark room, I put covers over my head... Took awhile to go away. I find that I get them with eye strain, and I do a lot of stuff with small detail... I try not to over do now though,

I hope you have a good day. No migraines'''

Hugs, Karen...

I use a pill box too. I have a couple of them. Makes life a lot easier for me...

Ha!!!

I think you will be okay. Just a few extra and then back to normal dosage, but if you feel you need to call the doc, do so...

Hugs, Karen...

I hope that seeing the gastro helped. I am sorry you have to reschedule for the therapist though. I had a colposcopy a few years ago. I hate them too. I stayed awake though and watched it on the screen. It was kind of cool...

I hope things get better soon. Complaining here is called "venting", it is totally acceptable... Ha!!!

Hugs, Karen...

It sounds like you could have fibromyalgia... Just a thought. When you have that and get tests, everything comes back negative... That is what happened to me. I was tested for lymes, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis. All negative. Blood is usually normal and all that. It might be something you want to look into. There is no test for it, just have to rule all other stuff out. IBS comes along with fibromyalgia for many...

When I got my colonoscopy I watched it too on the screen. Fortunately I didn't have the discomfort that you had. I feel badly for you. I hope it gets better.

The one thing I do know with fibromyalgia, stress is a huge trigger for pain and all other symptoms. Fatigue is one also...

I hope you have a good week at work. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Take it easy and no stress...

Glad you got a ride and got your car fixed so quickly... It sucks to not have a vehicle when you need one.

Hugs, Karen...