I just want to die

Hi David...

I am so sorry for how you are feeling right now. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Can you bring in a caregiver? Somebody to help you along with whatever amount of time you have and to help your wife? You want to spend the rest of your time together, and be comfortable, I am sure... I know what you are saying in your post, but I think if you had some help, you would feel better about things.

It is hard for me to find the proper words right now, I think. I just want you to know I am here... And I know things are seeming rather bleak to you at this moment. Know we are all here for you.

If you are a person of faith, talking to somebody in that field would be good. But I think what you need now is resources, maybe they could offer some. Talking to a therapist would help too. They offer a lot of support and they can find resources in your area.

I hope you write back. Know there are some really kind and compassionate people on this forum. We would like to help you as much as we can. If you tell us more about what all is going on we could probably offer more advice...

Hugs, Karen...

Karen and The Happy Turtle,
Thanks. I don't think either my wife or I would ever see a therapist. She believes in God but I don't. We have both recently retired and it is a huge adjustment. You no longer feeling like you are useful or contributing to anything. The MDS is a dark cloud hanging over our head. There is such a wide range of survival times we don't know how to make any plans.

Thanks again for you thoughts

Dan,

the therapist, or councelor would be able to help you both make the plans slowly at your own pace, talk the choices out.

Then you will have time to decide on your style of quality of life as the disease progresses.

I have progressive nerve damage in my head, I am 54. At 75% loss of hearing on the left side, 46 on the right, . Taking piano lessons now before I go deaf. Sight will go eventually, left eye I think is starting.

What is the purpose of living? I don't have an answer true and clear Dan. However I can say this. I know with my heart each day I get out of the house and genuielly smile at someone who smiles back, I have changed a moment in someones day. I believe in the Ripple Effect.

We may never know the difference we made, the point is we tried where others did not. Oasis vs desert.

Peace my new friend
Trina

David,
You said "The MDS is a dark cloud hanging over our head. There is such a wide range of survival times we don't know how to make any plans."

Sadly I get it. My husband was diagnosed with some real nasties. We had some long hard talks and decided to continue to plan and live life because he is still here. If come to find out he isn't, well that plan gets changed. Don't borrow trouble and waste a single day because something MAY get you. Even a healthy young person could die in a freak accident. No, you are not guaranteed tomorrow but you might as well plan for it.

The depression will suck the joy out of anytime you may have. Please reconsider seeing a therapist or counselor.