Feeling overwhelmed...disease, unhelpful husband

I feel bad just for posting this.
Ever since I was diagnosed with Crohn's i haven't felt like I have much support from my husband. I live in the US, away from my family, it is just God, him and I here, no one else. His family has completely ****ed up our marriage and I feel so angry all the time about that because they got away with ****ing us over and stealing our money and we fought over it so much that it almost ended in divorce. I am sorry about the cussing, but I need to say it like it is.
I have been so depressed because I have only the state insurance, I always have to worry about if they will re-approve me every year for treatment or not, I gained so much weight from being on steroids that now my liver is kind of in "danger". It is all so overwhelming. My husband is always on me about sex, sex, sex and I am on so much medication I don't have anything left after working 9 hours a day with 22 children in my classroom. He doesn't help me with any house work, he is constantly on the video game and it frustrates me to my very core.
I am so stressed, rude and inconsiderate, yes, I am! But that is because I feel so much anger and resentment about him not backing me up on the fight we had with his family because THEY STOLE OUR MONEY.
I have seen a therapist and she is more concerned about the issues with my health and my childhood traumas, she didn't really mention anything about my husband, but she does know I resent him because of the family fight and the video gaming.
I just needed to vent...I may seem very selfish and like I am not an understanding person, but I am really not. I am a really generous, nice, caring and loving person...my only problem is when people **** with my money, that is all.
And I try to be really strong, and do thing by myself, but over the past 5 months that hasn't worked out so well, I have cried every single day (no exaggeration, EVERY DAY), have had anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and I have a little mental breakdown that scared the living crap out of my husband.
Anyone going through anything similar?
I have never thought about harming myself, thankfully, but I feel I am a hostage to myself, to my body and to my disease. I just can't take it, and I feel like I can't talk to anyone, not even my therapist because I have to look her in the face and I can't stop crying when I see her.

Thank you for the advice on the lemon water cleanse.
I am on the lowest dose of Prednisone, which might help A LOT with getting the weight off. I hold grudges a lot, and sometimes I feel God is punishing me with this disease because of the way I am, so stubborn and hard at heart with people who have done me wrong, I forgive very few people, which is terrible. I feel terrible because my husband won't speak to his brother and his wife because of what happened, but I don't feel like I owe them any courtesy for anything at all, ever, even if my husband goes back to speaking to them.
Sometimes I feel like I did my husband a favor for getting his blood sucking brother away from him, he was always bad news, ever since I met him. You know, I feel my anger keeps me going on and on, if I wasn't so strong willed, stubborn and angry I wouldn't be able to go on and be able to handle this disease, being away from my family and my childhood traumas (they catch up with me sometimes). I spent 31 days in the hospital in 2013 and every day I would be so angry that I was there, and that God was doing this to me, I would refuse to give in, and I don't think that helps because I am still very angry at myself for all that happened...I think if I wasn't such an unforgiving person God wouldn't have to give me this disease to try and teach me a lesson...that is exactly what I feel like. I am always afraid something worse is going to come along and break me, it is so awful because I used to be such a happy person and I don't like myself very much now because I feel I have to be angrier to tough it all out.
Thanks for your answer, have a good night.

I do, I need a therapist bad, and I wouldn't need one for all my childhood issues and all that crap if it weren't for my Crohn's, I always felt like I was angry but I could deal, but with the Crohn's it had made it very difficult because of the medicines that make me very emotional. I feel like the thoughts I have about being punished is a subconscious thing, I just need to give myself a reason as to why I have never killed anyone, never stolen from anyone, never hit anyone, don't smoke, don't drink, don't do anything dangerous, always ate right and was fairly good with exercising, and this crap happens to me. Some things just don't have a reason, but I need a reason to fill my doubt just to be at peace.

So tired from meds I have to read your thread tomorrow.

Know you are not alone, we care here and more people willl responsed.

Peace.
Trina

So sorry you're going through all of that. I can definitely relate to the husband playing video games all of the time. It's caused us some pretty big fights - I've thought about leaving due to "infidelity with a game system." haha

I do think it would help you feel better to work on forgiveness, if only for your own sake. There's a saying that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. There's a lot of truth in that.

Sending you wishes of peace ~

Reading Job helped me a lot. Your husbands excessive use of the video games sounds like he's using them to avoid the present reality. It is hard when 'happily ever after' doesn't happen. One last thing, no one I know of has ever asked for their bank balance from their death bed.