Just want to rant

I'm new here, so hello community.

I'm here cause I deal with depression (duh). The way I've dealt with this has not been easy. Everyday is a new day I get that, but really you're still the same person you were yesterday or the day before.

This whole thing started the beginning of my junior year in college. I'm 20 years old, almost 21 if any of you were wondering. I came into this year wanting to find a girl, and as you can guess it hasn't worked out. So around November is when it really started, and from there it got worse. Later in February, I started having S-word thoughts (don't want to say the real word because it's sort of a trigger for me, but you can guess what it is), and soon enough I reached out to my friend. I won't say this person's name but I can tell you its a girl and she is one of my best friends and I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyways she helped me a little bit, but sooner the depression got worse and worse and eventually, my friend had to get the police to get me escorted to a hospital where I was sort of borderline S-word.

So after that event I told my roommates who live with me and my sister, the only person who I truely love and can trust her with anything.

My adventure living depression still continues, I get anxiety attacks and sometimes anger issues. Everyday is a battle, but I still keep my head high and keep on going.

The reason why I found this website and why I choose to write is because I refuse to get professional help. Once I found this website, I found out that I am not alone. People write about their struggles with depression and I think to myself that people have it far worse than me. The best part about this website though is the response you guys give to these people. It's absolutely amazing and so heart felt that I want to meet you people and just give you a hug.

So I hope I can return the favor to some of you guys by helping you too and hopefully you helping me as well.

I know of many who attend Alanon support groups to help them get thru their lives and these are people without addiction issues. There are off shoots of the AA philosophy for depression...I know of people who have gone to these support groups...

And yes, I get putting your issues on family shoulders is a lot of responsibility...good to get to work on one's mental health.

There is a lot of help out there one just has to go "for it"...don't suffer alone. Jam

Frazier, kinda ironic that you don't want to seek professional advice and yet your member name is a TV Psychiatry Doc.

Anyway, I see a therapist and I Psych Doc., plus I go to a depression support group twice a week most weeks. It is a big help to know people who experience what you do.

When you are in the dark places where the S sneaks in, I have found that medication and coping skills combinded work best. I use DBT, mindfulness and meditation along with exercise and music.

Being as young as you are I can imagine the fear of starting medications that may or maynot be life long. However, I will tell you this. Depression is a serious illness, not to be taken lightly or ignored. If you have pheumonia or cancer or diabeties you would treat and respect the illness for what it was.

The same ought to be done for depression, there is not shame in the diagnosis and treated properly noone needs to know you have it, the daily battles become easier.

I wish you compassion and courage
Trina