well.............

so, with all of my cryptic, but focused posts, i should have a life ban!! but, being a problem child, somebody who will buck any system for change and not afraid to mince his words, then i speak of conformity. something that i never do, sometimes you are stuck and must, but i do so against gritted teeth, when i still had teeth!!! i think as mental health becomes less stigmatized consumers will be able to express themselves more. some already do, albeit some are fearful of any reprisal and will conform to the communities protocols. i have many an experience to share on this, but needless to say is that nobody has the right to just label us and say look, just toe the line type thing. i was thinking that when i had my x2 by-pass i was in a ward, and the lady next was complaining about me. i was sleep talking and walking a bit. so since i was not able to do anything about it, (conform) i was made to stay in the tv room all night. she got a single room, but was my mental or personal care addressed. no. i even gave up a spare room after my first night as a very sick man needed it. asleep on a chair, with heart monitors in a tv room all night. i will never conform. sorry a bit of a spiel of something i was thinking about.

i will do it in two ways, either professional / diplomatic or just straight up if this fails!!! thx karen. that lifted my spirits.

i am a cactus. take me down to the watering hole (pub) and freshen me up every now and then!!!

I love cactus, born and raised in the desert!

I have a story to share of a man's similar expirence with US. He came in after the train arrived he had a full beer bottle in his hand. I thought " kinda early there bud" but I didn't say it. I have many alcoholics in the family and they really CANT help it. He seemed real upset. I think that most of my own frustration is when someone didn't listen to me. I listen to him. He tells me he has anxiety and wanted another seat he wasn't comfortable. Me: ok. Him: they told me no : me : ok: him: they say I can call an 800 to complain : me : ok: him : so I call the number and I'm trying to explain why I can't sit where I am, I have ptsd and I ... I ... Me: it's ok take your time: him :?and that woman ( employee utter embarrassment ) hears me and brings me this beer and say to me ' I'm sorry I don't realize you were mental' me : ........( $&@) he starts to shake and weep , 'I was in Vietnam...I ...I " I put up my hand to stop him. There isn't a reason I can think of for this man ( a hero in my book) should explain himself. I tell him it's ok my father was there too. He got vip treatment the rest of his journey. And by the way he didn't drink the beer.
The stigma is disgusting. I hate it. Because everyone has something. Kept you in another room. Heck , I'm very mischievous , if they want crazy I'll give 'em crazy and I'm crazy smart too. That night wouldn't have went well with me. I really wonder however if they don't even realize they are being disrespectful. I have had minimal training in assisting passengers with a disability. Number one is verbiage they are not "disabled " they are " a PERSON with a disability. I like this it's a first step to unity. They are a person who has this companion they can't leave at home. See the person first. Then ask " how can I help you today?" Smile ( little miss RA is screaming hey you should be in bed!) but hey they don't need to know that.

much peace. irene had lovely cacti. big ones too. some tripped out flowers by the way. i never get a seat on the train. standing with my stick. for over an hour, not one offer, disgusting. able bodied people siting in disabled seats, that gets my goat. many many times i have stood, one day i yelled my guts out and told them how i felt. i let rip. so many offers then came. i refused every one them.