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Depression . I am desperate

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Posted 8/26/2015 3:54 PM (GMT 0)
I am also on the anxiety forum. I suffer from panic sometimes and attachment/commitment. I had severe separation anxiety from my mom.growing up. I am in my 30s now. I have always depended on outside sources to omfort me snd make me happy. My mom, family and especially guys. There are some times when I feel so confident in life but lately I feel like I am so tramatized by life. I recently started seeing someone and he is a great guy. But immediately i get excited and project the future, become attached.. then the next day the anxiety and depression started and I wanted to run which is a common theme.and I question everything. I'm starting to feel like a lot of it is my issue. I am in therapy and just stating prozac 2 weeks ago. I feel like I don't know how to function in the world... but when im single even though I obsess over finding a relationship nonstop I find myself so much happier and able to function better. I know I have stuff to work on and feel confident in my own skin. I know I cant turn back and live life over again but at this point I can't move forward with my life. I want to get married and have children. My therapist says it's ideal to work on issues while I'm in a relationship since that's when most of them pop up. Anyone have any experience with this? I feel almost tramatized by life right now and thay nothing will ever change. I also wonder if prozac is making my mental health worse. Please help.
Posted 8/26/2015 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
The Prozac probably isn't making you worse. You are probably just getting a little worse before the Prozac gets in your system good. So give it up to 8 weeks if you are able to.

I did learn that we can not rely on other things to make us happy. It comes from within ourselves. Once you get that worked out, life is going to be a lot easier. You wont be depending on other people to fulfill your needs. You may feel totally fine by yourself for the most part.

I find when I get close to people I often start to back off. I don't like people getting to know me. I guess I fear there will be things that they wont necessarily like. But then I learn people, if they care, will pick up your baggage and accept that. Accept you for who you are. Flaws and all...

I hope you feel better soon. Keep posting, and do keep up therapy and medication. You will probably be feeling much better within a week. Hang in there...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/27/2015 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the forum.

I use to have this problem in my teens, I remember now.

In 2011 I remember childhood abuse. This does NOT mean that you have this issue, just my story.

My feeling and forecasting, obessing in relationships came from the need to be rescued, I never knew that. The kicker was, if I found someone that wanted to be closed and get married, I felted smothered!. So yeah,

Fix yourself, stay in therapy, ask about self-compassion. Wonderful book entitled THE MINDFUL PATH TO SELF-COMPASSION. by Germer PhD I use it for reference and read it 2 times.

It does get better, you will get more in control of your emotions. Be 100% honest with your therapist, if you can't find one you can be. So important,

Peace
Trina
Posted 8/28/2015 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you bnotafraid. Yea I know I don't have the same issues but it's good to hear people can relate. I had severe separation issues and anxiety to my mom growing up. I still have this issue to a degree. I was able to move out 4 years ago but when I am panicked and depressed I feel like my mom is going to calm me. I've always been obsessed with relationships and not sure to this day how to have a healthy one with a guy. I am with someone now who so far is great and so supportive of my anxiety even tho he doesn't know what my anxiety is from since it's a very new relationship. But I question everything bc the second I start to like someone the anxiety and depression come. I am scared as hell bc I feel like I've lost myself and it is the end of the world. I am in therapy and on meds. Recently switched to prozac which has not been a positive experience so far. I'm hoping it takes time. What else did u do to feel better?
Posted 8/28/2015 3:41 PM (GMT 0)
I also suggest time re Prozac. It may sound stupid, but my crocheting helps me calm down. It becomes more than a pot holder, blanket, it is one of my therapies. Perhaps you might consider something called round or long looms from Michaels or another craft store....they fit on lap...the long looms are easiest. There are tons of videos on u tube, to help. It has been such a gift to use these when anxious or depressed. Yarn is the fabric used. I listen to utube gentle, relaxing music too....Best wishes to you, sincerely.
Posted 8/28/2015 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
I use mindfulness, art, music and reading to stay emotionally stable. I meditate. I belong and attend a depression support group.

None of these were easy in the beginning, stayed true to trying and in a few weeks the benefits came.

mindful.org is a great site to start your journey. Many blogs and articles, links things to research and learn about to help. Lets you know you are not alone, there is always hope and people that do care.

Peace
Trina
Posted 8/29/2015 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
I'm definitely going to look at that website. I have no motivation to do anything at some points so it's ridiculously hard.
Posted 8/30/2015 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, it is ridiculously hard at times. However, if we do not OWN our emotions, diagnosis, abuse, whatever; we can not heal. We are the only ones that can heal ourselves.

People can guide us, help us, we have to do the work.

There is a saying in a recovery group; the group did not work for me, however the saying did.

"Move the muscles and the mind will follow" This is true. One the days I do not want to get out of bed, I force myself. Days I don't want to shower, I sponge bath, and feel better.

Just putting on jeans instead of sweat pants can raise your mood a bit.

Peace
Trina
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