Depressed & Compulsively lying

Hi, I have a depressed ex boyfriend who i've posted many times about so i won't go too much into that. We've been apart since November however he's now back in contact and says he's sorry and that he loves me and wants to start again.

I haven't see him yet but we have been speaking however I'm already starting to notice little traits that I remember from our previous relationship such as compulsive lying, mainly lies that seem to deter me from seeing him but then he still claims that he's desperate to see me and can't live without me. He'll ignore my calls and say he was in a meeting even though i know he wasn't, He told me he can't come and see me as he's broken his ankle but then i see a photo on social media of him out and about. He'll say things like 'I don't receive voicemails on my phone otherwise i would have called you back' but then later he'll mention something which i said in my voicemail so i know he heard it.

Is this a common accompaniment to depression? He admits that he's depressed and that he's the problem sometimes, but other times he reverts back to blaming me for why we broke up and making it seem like i should be grateful that he's even speaking to me.

Is this all just what's to be expected if i choose to be in a relationship with a depressed man? And if so what is the best way to handle him. Would i always just need to keep myself quite distant and let things be on his terms? When i try and be firm with him and say 'This is what I want' it generally backfires on me.

Thanks in advance

Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who compulsively lies to you?

The most common lie I've told people is "No, really, I'm fine." next up is "Sure, I'd love to go out somewhere."

Other than that, I'd say he is being selfish and controlling and expects you to be gullible and pliable.

Just my opinion.

He says he loves you, but lies about all sorts of stuff, all which doesn't really sound to me like you are the centre of his world.................

My first question is, Do you love him?

Next question is, Do you love yourself?
That is a question which is much more important to ask. Do you feel you should be treated by anyone like he treats you, whether depressed or not? Don't you think you are worth more than that? Do you feel you owe him your love and attention because he is depressed? Does he make you feel like that?
It's not his depression or lying that is the real problem here...it's your own self esteem that might need a closer look............


Have a think about it and see if that rings true somewhere.