Its All Kicking In

Went to my son's first birthday party. Being broken up with the baby mama I felt like a ghost within the whole thing. While living with the baby mama we had our "flings" with each other even while broken up. Now I sit having another gal I had a fling with texting me trying to pull the same crap as the ex. Literally feels like I'm steering into a ditch with no way out.

I just feel numb all the time, worrying about having a deputy knocking on the door to serve me the court papers and going to court, etc. The thought of my kid being raised with out me kills me on the inside. Really hope if I get approved on disability I can fight for FULL RIGHTS and still work.

On the upside job is going well. Might to taking a group to Wisconsin (more on the paycheck!).

getting by said...
Maybe you should slow things down with the other gal and take time out to think it over. You don't need all the drama.

I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.

Hugs, Karen...

Think she finally got the message. Kid, my sleep, etc. come first and well it ain't going no were long term.

Doing the best I can at this point.

Sounds like you need to focus on you and your child. Leave the women alone until you can balance your emotions.

Peace
Trina

It must be so hard to worry about a child. I am a child-free person,so I cannot even begin to imagine parenthood in the mix with everything else.

I would suggest that you take this opportunity to decide what it is that is really important to you. It sounds as if you have been making some life choices without a lot of forethought, with women, jobs, the baby, and the accumulated pile-up is stressing you emotionally. When we are young, we often throw ourselves into everything, and some of these choices are long-term decisions. Then as an adult, we come face-to-face with the reality, and it feels chaotic.

So what matters most to you? Is it the job? Is it the kid? It doesn't sound like it is either of these women.

What do you want? What do you love? What will give you the most fulfillment?

These questions are hard, yep. A good place to start is writing down your feelings and the directions you are tugged in, and the demands and choices that you have in front of you. Another part of 'adult' life is shaping the choices we have. A therapist can help you to comb through life-stuff and manage the chaos mindfully.

Be well, friend.

Congratulations on your son's first birthday.

It seems you have some choices to make. You can continue to refer to your son's mother as 'baby mama' which is a bit derogatory, or, you could call her your son's mother, your co-parent. Remember, you chose her. Sure, it might not have been a conscious choice of who you wanted to create another life with, rather, who you wanted to have sex with, but the result is the result.

You will be raising a son. A son who will NEED to know how he is to treat a lady. How his is to choose to do things with. What those choices may lead to. He will watch both of you closely in order to learn these things.

Choose your words carefully and respectfully. Do not disrespect her in front of him. He loves her. He loves you. Don't try to make him choose between you. Do not make him 'the rope' in a tug of war. Be the adult you want him to grow up to be.