How to overcome guilt

I cant forget my past and move forward

I shared it with my family about it but now when i have a fight with them they remind me of that to hurt me .So people who i revealed my personal information are using against me . I dont know how to work it through . I feel sad and get stuck at that point

Excellent advice so far, Ellie. I would add coming up with and practicing what to say when the past resurfaces in arguments. "This is not what we are discussing now. Let's turn ourselves back to the real issue" or something like that.

Once an argument reaches recriminations, it is off-track. Try to steer it back.

And you know and I know that no one is perfect. We have to forgive ourselves for mistakes.

First suggestion, look up the word 'guilt' and it's synonyms. Then, figure out which of those are you feeling? I can't find my dictionary at the moment but do have my Thesaurus.

Guilt...responsibility, culpability, blame, error, fault, liability, weakness, failing. No one is responsible for everything. Sometimes we are blamed even when it is not truly our fault. We make errors. Everyone has a weakness. See what I mean?

Guilty...condemned, censured, incriminated, indicted, judged, darned, reproachable, chargeable. Knowing which you are actually feeling will help you figure out the next step.

Ask for forgiveness if necessary, but understand, you are not responsible for the outcome, whether forgiveness is offered from the offended one. The asking is acknowledging your part in whatever took place. Then, the only thing you can really do is try not to repeat it.

Thanks all of u . For making me feel good

I feel guilty because i cheated my boyfriend and told him later about it we planned to work on our relationship. But when someone shouts on me my family or bf i feel its because i have lost my self respect .i cant live without my bf but being with makes me feel guilty always

Each relationship is different.

If your BF forgives you, then you two need to remake your relationship. You need to forgive yourself and grow from it. Both partners need to be willing to mends the cracks and rebuild the trust. This is how long-term partnerships go, sweetie. They aren't all love and good thing, forever; Weathering awful things and coming out stronger is the point. Sometimes you do not get out the other side together.

Thanks so much

My family and my bf told me stop checking people, if u cant handle when they say something. In short stop interfering. My bf also looses his temper very easily and when he shouts my heart feels very weak. He doesnot understand mental illness and find people weak u have mental weakness .our relationship is 8 nd half years old . We have been trying so hard to marry but couldnot as we have diff religion . Then i cheated him. This caused more havoc in out life. This relationship was strong but was against all odds . It had a lot of stress but i was always okay before to listen whatever he said before i cheated because i knew there was nothing wrong with me . He is at fault and i will forgive him when he will come back. But now i feel guilty and get so hurt when he shouts . He says stop relating everything to that incident . But everybodys shouting challenges my worth . I am 28 years old and dont know after such a long relationship would i be ever be myself again as i dont knoe how to live without him . He is ready for marraige with me but are families are against it. Please throw some advice.

Hi Ellie. Something led you to 'cheat'. Figuring out what that reason was is important. You say your bf doesn't understand mental illness and that he thinks it's a weakness. You say he shouts a lot. Perhaps the two of you could get into couples counselling?

Break ups are hard, no matter how long the relationship has lasted. You have a lot to contend with if you are to keep this one going. Family pressure, if they don't 'approve' of the one you've chosen, can be brutal. It can be such a tough choice...one person vs family. Then, if you're not sure of that one person it makes things even more difficult.

Take a breath. See a counselor. Work on being a strong individual first. 'Relationship math' is different than 'regular math'. In regular math, one plus one equals two. In relationship math, one whole individual plus one whole individual equals one whole couple.

As to "I don't know how to live without him.", trust me, if it comes down to that you WILL. It will be much different than what you've had for the past 8 and 1/2 years, but after a while it will feel 'normal'.

My bf got zero apprasial this time. He is very upset and very angry with his company.He is in a very bad mood does not want to talk to anyone . I have become supersad because of his sadness and my guilt . I dont know how to get through this time.my family is not supportive of psychatric help. Not even my bf but i have always an uneasy feeling in my heart.