Daily Check In Thread For All... #134

Hi all,

I will be very quick. Very down and anxious this week. So much family drama. Sisters family is falling apary, my depression and anxiety are high. Dad works way too much. I want to cry but cant. I always on the verge of tears. Not good sleep. Not been eating. Just all around junk parts. I am so depressed and tired. I have been walking but hasn't done much but get me out and about. I hope you are all doing well. Joyce we miss ya hun! More tomorrow. Night, afternoon or morning to yall.

CBT is helpful cilly. I hope it helps you. I started with CBT but stopped and did DBT.

Dawn, I hope things get better. Take care of yourself.

Andrina, sooo sorry. Glad you reach out for help. Hope you will be okay.

UA

Hi all, hope everyone had a better weekend than me, was horrific, my sleep has at least got a bit better and I'm not panicking during the night but my reflux and nausea have been absolutely awful, I can barely eat at the moment. I think the magnesium oil I have been using to help me go to the toilet is actually making my reflux worse so I'm going to stop it and see if I feel any better. Pity because I haven't been to the toilet in about 10 days :( I really need to stop the pain killers I think.

My parents are staying over until Thursday which is nice, some company feels nice instead of being alone all the time.

Due to drop my AD dose again on Wednesday, Dr said half it but I may just go to 3/4 instead for a week and see how it goes, I think going 15mg>0 will be a bit more difficult than 45>15 so want to take it slow.

I have been doing good. Have been reading all of the posts and even tried to post on a few. I decided not to post for some reason. Can't figure that one out. Finally over my withdrawal from the meds I was taking. Lots of problems went away when the medicine got out of my system.
I finally decided that I am not going to be happy all of the time and will sometimes loose my temper. Accepting that has made the need for medication stop. Guess I am human after all.

Hi all. I really dislike when my facet joint injections wear off. The pain is sooo much worse! Makes me fear the future. I'll get back with the p.m. doc once my daughter is well on her way to healing. Her surgery is next Thursday, Nov 5th. She'll be out of work for at least a month while she heals from the actual surgery but we have no way of knowing how long it will take for her body to rebalance the hormones. She'll go from having too much cortisol to having none as soon as they take the tumor out. They will have to figure out how much to give her and then she'll have to wean off of the supplemental stuff as her body starts to adjust.

We're doing everything we can to keep our minds off of it all. She's working as many hours as she can get and I'm keeping busy with creating her son's Halloween costume. I've also picked up some decorations to go from Halloween to Thanksgiving! Take some stuff down, put some other stuff up, move the jack o lanterns so that the back shows and they just look like pumpkins, set up the cornocopea, etc.

Thanks for going through all this with me!

a neighbour down the road decided to drive his car through my gates, smash them, smash the hw heater that is attatched to the house, drive straight in to back yard, stop back through the side femce and a neighbour found him and drove the car back to his house. this happened whilst visiting mum in hospital and seeing my bro. had therapy today, needed it. ttys.

I feel high for lack of sleep.

Sounds scary Jamie. I'm glad no one was outside there to get damage. I hope they would compensate you for the damages for your property.

Andy, maybe try some positive self talk or thought distraction.

Have a good day everyone!

UA

HT, please tell me this isn't the fence that you just put up?!

I think the thing with anger Power is that when we get angry, it hurts us more than anything. It does me. I know when I am angry, I feel miserable. My emotions are all over the place. I don't know how to control it. I think with anger management, it helps us direct our anger at the proper people, and I believe it helps us to control it, structure it and makes it so we aren't hurting ourselves.

Everybody gets angry at one time or another. And I am sure rightly so. I am sure your anger is justified. I just think when it was mentioned it was for the good of yourself. Nothing critical.

I know veterans have been treated badly and I feel it is a huge injustice. You have every right to be angry. Just make sure you aren't making yourself miserable in the process. Channel it.

I hope you are having a good day today.

Hugs, Karen...

I know what you mean. I hold things in too. Then I don't know how to express how I feel. I always feel like the bad guy. Like I am a horrible person for having feelings. Maybe one day I will get a grip.

Have a good evening.

Hugs, Karen...

That is awesome, sounds like you have a grip on things and keep control of the situations. I think addressing things right away is good. I wish I did that. I let things fester and then I think I blow them out of proportion. In my mind anyway. I have gotten better, but still don't master it. I will take your advice.

Hugs, Karen...

Power, I hear you on the anger. I too am angry over many things I have no control over. Lately, it's been over how long it has taken to get my daughter diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. No one knows what causes it. So many of the symptoms get attributed to other things. I get resentful towards God, towards the medical community, towards the insurance companies that take forever to 'authorize' things, the list goes on and on.

I get angry at the disease. She is so fatigued. Goes to work, comes home, goes back to bed. Gets up in the afternoon, goes back to work (she's a school bus monitor) comes home, goes back to bed. All of the housework is left to me. She hasn't been having her son do lessons (he's home schooled because of emotional issues). He's not much help around the house unless I specifically tell him to do something and then he gets the attitude going.

It's dangerous for me to get into conversations with people that would 'feed the monster' by agreeing too much with me! The best thing I have learned to do is redirect the energy. The housework tends to become my 'lightening rod'. So, I get the benefit of accomplishment instead of destruction as a result.

When my thoughts start to run along the lines of..."I want...", "I think...", "I feel...", there is trouble brewing! I come here or to another of my favorite sites, see that I am not the only one, see how 'good' my life is (sometimes comparing is a good thing) and it helps me get back on track.

I'm glad you are all here. Somehow, we get through each day, together.

Anger is a powerful tool, contextually. It propels change, but it does have to be implemented in tightly controlled doses to be effective.

Too much anger is ineffective, because instead of being emitted as a specific laser beam of emotion, it's kinda the atom-bomb of change. But sometimes waiting for the fallout to dissipate and then rebuilding is not a good resource.

When I ID sources of anger for me, it is generally when I feel stuck in a situation about which I can do nothing, kind of like Pitmom's worries about daughter. My previous situation of a toxic workplace also made me continuallyangry. It was helpful, at first, because it caused me to be pro-active and work for change. 3 years of work with no changes felt futile and corrosive, and helped me to decide to leave after the fourth year. When action becomes inertia... or even controlling of me,MY mind and MY emotions and MY time, then I have to let it go.

Work going well. Learning a lot. I got put in the advanced class. So long as i suppress my anarchic tendencies, it ought to be a good fit. I haven't been in much since I haven't been on-line--work then gym then home then dinner then tv then bed. Rinse, repeat. It will get better.