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Hi NeverGetsEasyx and bev

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Posted 11/25/2005 11:23 AM (GMT 0)
 N.G.E.X. How did your Thaksgiving go? I thought of you all day, wondering how you were doing? We had a 24 pound turkey, and it was almost all eaten. This year it was special, cuz my 84 year old Dad came down. He hasn't been down to visit since before my MaMa died, almost thee years ago. We had faimly coming in and out all day, coming to visit him.

We had kids every where!!! I had to confinscate a football out of my Daughters first home made pumkin pie. We all said at once devil missed it, God kissed it, please don't let me die. And we ate it any way. HaHa.

My Daughter taught me how to listen to music while I play on the computer.I like it very much. She took off her hard rock and kept the easy listening stuff on. I like mostly country, but I like CCR and The Eagles too. She gave me her old computer. For a long time all I did was play solitar and I'm writing a book about my Dads life. She hooked me up to the inter net, and thats how I found this site. I first came on for my Crohn's, but I switched over to depression and I found you girls. I don't go out much, cuz the Crohn's keeps me pretty weak. So now I made two new friends to keep me company. I am greatful for you two. Well I guess I better go back to bed, cuz I have my Grandsons today. No school today. I'll come back on tonight. yeah

Posted 11/25/2005 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
My sons both live away from here and my daughter worked, so we went out to eat. Hubby planned a surprise--going to a new restaurant. We went, sat down, then got up and left, due to nerve shattering noise (weird music). We tried another new restaurant--and didn't even get seated there, they had run out of turkey, which I wanted. He was game to try one more new place, but I asked can't we just go to Annie B's, so that's what we did--it was peaceful (he likes more noise than I do) and the food was plentiful and great.

Music: I like 50's rock and roll best of all, especially Buddy Holly. Then it's backwards from there--to the 40's, 30's, even the 20's--to see what else I like. Going the other way into the 60's and 70's some music is good--and that's where my musical time warp ends.

bev
Posted 11/26/2005 5:19 PM (GMT 0)
Heh Bev, little Sister's got me worried!!!

 She hasn't logged in. I hope nothing happened to her at Thanksgiving dinner with her family.

 I've been checking our spot once in a while.
 I really won't be able to talk to you till tonight. See you then.

 Diane

Posted 11/26/2005 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sure little sis will be back when she's ready. We gave her a lot to chew on. Digesting takes time.

bev
Posted 11/26/2005 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
Bless her heart. I hope we didn't over whelm her.
I told you I wouldn't get back to you till tonight, but I looked one last time and I saw on the other thread, others had said stuff. And I just can't keep my mouth shut. LOL
I just worry, cuz this is a real person we're dealing with. It seems easy to talk over the internet, and voice our opinion, and then, even move onto someone elses sight. But I take what I write seriously, ya know?
Your right that we gave her alot to chew on. Being 15 is a confusing time in your life at it is, without having too much thrown at you all at once.
N.G.E.X, We will lighten up, OK?
How about this?
We had a house full of people for Thanksgiving. Well, I told you I have problems with my guts. So I stepped out onto our sun porch. My four year old Grandson opens the door and says, "What you doing out here Grandma? Oh I know, you come out here to toot" I looked at him and burst out laughing. He walks out and closes the door, and lets one go. With a sigh he looks up at me and says, "Good idea!"
I layed in bed that night and thought of that and had to laugh. There's not much you can get past little ones.
Posted 11/27/2005 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry i haven't posted. Thanksgiving, it didn't go as bad as i thought it would.... but it wasn't good either. At times i really just wanted to freak out, but i made it out okay. I've been out of the house the past 2 days.... if i stay home after seeing him it just leads to... bad habits i guess. I dont know, i kept telling myself i wouldn't let him get to me, but when im actually there, its a completly different story. At times i wanted to just jump acrossed the table or just throw my plate at him. He sat almost directly acrossed from me. which killed me. My cousins ( 7 & 5 ) kept me busy though. I think if they weren't their, i would of freaked out. Thank you two for caring, and im sorry i worried you guys. You two deffinatly brighten my day.

Angeline, your post made me smile at the end, thanks:).
Posted 11/27/2005 5:36 AM (GMT 0)
i wish you two were on. im freaking out.... i dont know what to do.
Posted 11/27/2005 6:25 AM (GMT 0)
I'm here, are you still on?
Posted 11/27/2005 11:27 AM (GMT 0)
NeverGetsEasyx,

You are so strong! I admire you. I'm glad you had your little cousins for company on Thanksgiving. I hope when you feel like you do when you are saying you are freaking out, that you'll post here or email or IM one of us so we can talk. That's the kind of help you need and deserve right now.

I'm on the East coast time zone. Are you too?

I'm glad you posted and I hope you'll come back soon! We're here for you.. all ears & heart!

~Nanse

 

Posted 11/27/2005 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you nanse, but im not as strong as you think.  If i was strong i wouldnt of hurt myself as much as i did.  But trust me, their are times i just freak out.

 

i was having a really bad day allready, and it was those moments where everythings bottled up, and one more thing will just trigger everything. well i came home from school, and his truck was parked at our house.  that just really got to me, i mean really angered me.  I ended up getting drunk and started throwing rocks at it.  I was going to smash the window when i finally got ahold of myself. 

 

 

honestly though... it was worth it to me.

Posted 11/27/2005 11:25 PM (GMT 0)
oh and yes im eastern time zone.
Posted 11/28/2005 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all this. Please IM me anytime you want to talk or you just want to be in contact with someone, even if you don't really feel like talking, okay? I'm online a lot, but not necessarily on this board all the time.

Please be careful with the alcohol. It can only add to the things you are having to deal with, although I understand the desire for it and the way it makes you numb, and that it mellows your anger but there are better ways for you to be able to do that.

I'm glad you posted and I'm glad you were able to stop yourself from throwing more rocks at the truck.

I still think you are strong. I also think you need a shoulder to lean on. You can be strong yet need help, too.

I'm here for you. I care about you.

Nanse
Posted 11/28/2005 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for that. And yes i know its a bad thing to get into, i had so many brusies on my knees from falling that night... everytime i get to the point i want to do one of those, bad habits, music helps. Most of the time.

Thank you for being here. I just can't get over how amazing some people are being on this website. This was basically my last resort because i didnt know what to do. I wrote diaries, then stopped, then poems, then stopped... then this. I dont know how else to get my feelings out, but this seems to be working. Im glad.

this week is going to be ... not the easiest. Its hunting season, this is the week it all happened. So i extremely appriciate everyone being here<3
Posted 11/28/2005 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
Anytime! I hope you'll come here and talk a lot, especially this week. Anniversaries can be very hard times.

Also, I wanted you to know that there is a Sexual Abuse board on WebMD that is very supportive and you might want to look into that board too. They are very good people there, too.

I understand about the music, too! I just posted on the WebMD board, replying to a post called "Distraction Action" which is usually a weekly post where there are a series of fun questions to answer. This week one question was what singer was the last music you listened to and the moderator, who posts this fun activity, said she was listening to Nirvana, LOUD! LOL ....
I also like Nirvana and posted that I like to listen to Nirvana LOUD too, especially when I'm down or angry because the music seems to work the hurt and/or anger out of me.
Music does help. Other times I like quieter music that is more soothing, so I like a wide range of music depending on what I want and what I need at the moment.

I'm glad you posted again!
Nanse
Posted 11/28/2005 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
Yes music is just amazing... i agree comepletly. Ill check that out now! Thanks:)
Posted Yesterday 2:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Little Sister, Bev and Nance;
Do you want to meet in the Chat room? I think we could get a better feel for each other and can ask more detailed questions about each other. I'll set my alarm for 8:00 pm. OK? Hope to see you there!
Diane
Posted Yesterday 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
Ok, I tried it and know how to do it, I'll be there.

bev
Posted Today 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
"You never listen to me,
You cannot look me in the eyes.
I have struggled to see
Why its so easy to push me aside....
I no longer believe,
That you were ever on my side.
How could you know what I need,
When I'm the last thing on your mind... "




Sorry... i just read it now. And you guys aren't online. Ugh guys im doing so horrible in school. I have a D in all my major class's except for Math & english. But my english teacher said he needs to show me my grade, so im thinking it went down. && Im failing Biology. Normally i'd be like.. freaking out. But its not really bothering me at all. Ahh, how lovely lol. Anyway, how did everyones day go?




sorry i missed the chat. What is everyone's time zones?
im eastern... *



Hope i hear from you guys soon.



" Where your thoughts go; your actions follow"
.. i keep thinking of that quote
Posted Today 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
Hi little Sister/ Somthing went wrong on the chat room. Everyone blanked out at the same time. Are you there?
Posted Today 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
no.... its not working for me right, im trying to find internet explorer 6 to download, because mine is only 5 so i think that is why its not working for me
Posted Today 3:12 AM (GMT 0)
wow.. its saying it will take 2 hours ........ ahhhhhhh , i dont think ill be able to chat with you guys tonight
Posted Today 3:13 AM (GMT 0)

Hey, all. I'm just seeing this post. AIM has been down a little while. Are we chatting on AIM?

Nanse

Posted Today 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry I went over to the Crohns side for a while.
So my quote got in your head, heh?
I got another one. It's on my daily encouragement list. It gives me my pep talk every mornig. My cheer leader, so to speek.

Take athority over your mind, cast down bad thoughts.

Are you making your mind, mind you.
My daughters calling me .Keep good thoughts Diane
Posted Today 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry I went over to the Crohns side for a while.
So my quote got in your head, heh?
I got another one. It's on my daily encouragement list. It gives me my pep talk every mornig. My cheer leader, so to speek.

Take athority over your mind, cast down bad thoughts.

Are you making your mind, mind you.
My daughters calling me .Keep good thoughts Diane
Posted Today 3:41 AM (GMT 0)
I lost the connection as Angeline came on and then again when NeverGetsEasyx came on. Since my computer was acting exactly like it does when the ISP has trouble, I sat here for a long time trying to get back on.

Anyway, lets try it again tomorrow, and lets use the clock on the website--at 7 per the site. It would be 8 pacific, 7 mountain, 6 central, and 5 eastern--I think. Correct me if I'm wrong--I get numbers mixed up nowadays.

bev
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