DAILY CHECK-IN THREAD NO. 165

HT,

I have seen ECT work for severe cases. She may not come make all the way but hopefully she will calm down to a quality of life she can maintain.

I am glad to hear that all siblings are going in force. No more of Jamie is going. Only Jamie. You need support as they do. Shared experiences are easier to handle.

Thoughts for you and family.
Peace
Trina

Had a rough weekend. The loss of Sensei started another depression cycle and everything that I usually 'handle' became overwhelming. My partner, trying to 'help', kept pushing me to talk. Problem is, unless you are a trained mental health professional, me talking to you usually doesn't end well. I begged her to let it alone, told her I didn't want to escalate, but she wouldn't let up and I exploded. The next few hours were horrible.

We're still together but there is damage. I hate this.

Next day, we're out doing our weekly shopping and who do I run into? My former counselor!

Perhaps I should call and make an appointment...see if I can get back into the clinic. It's unusual for me to have a cycle in the summer.

Hope all is well with the rest of you all.

Float, float, float.

thx my friends. my condolences pitmom.

go green thumb!!!

So, another day.

I've been working hard at my extensive 'to do' list. Flashing installed around the air conditioner...check. Roof resurfacing...check. Patch drain pipe from kitchen...check. Get to the doctor to get my Valtrex...nope.

Darn it. Soooo close. Why is it 'self care' that is my sticking point?

Then, partner calls...says she's been thinking and thinking about the fight and why was she able to just 'get back to normal' when she was down here but now, can't stop thinking and thinking about the fight, now that she's back home? Ugh. Why would someone who has said 'Don't try to analyze me.' ask me to 'analyze her'?

Guess she just wanted to know I still feel like crud over it.

Nevermind the fact that I'm still trying to climb up out of the rabbit hole!

Sigh.

Meanwhile, the day lilies are blooming like crazy! Today, one pale apricot, several red, 2 two toned peach and 2 deep peach. The bee balm has started blooming, too. The milkweed continue to perfume the air.

So far I've seen several red admiral butterflies, several white cabbage moth/butterflies, a monarch (!), and a black swallowtail (!).

The mimosa tree is starting to bloom as is the yellow trumpet vine. The hummingbird will have quite a buffet here this year. The hummingbird mint is still blooming well and I picked up 2 more lantana plants.

More flowers on the tomatoes. The cucumbers are starting to climb. The strawberries are ripening.

I take a moment and go from herb to herb, picking just a bit to crush and release the fragrance from them to add to the perfume of the garden. Lemon thyme, pineapple sage, rosemary, lavender, Russian sage, chocolate mint, mixing with the milkweed and honeysuckle with just a hint of mimosa...wow!

Mix that with the colors, the sounds from the birds, the fountain, the windchimes...as close to heaven as I can imagine!

Balance. Float. Breath. Climb. Repeat.

hi. not much, low motivation........still pushing, just. many healing thoughts to all.

Pitmom,

Pitmom said...
Guess she just wanted to know I still feel like crud over it.

From what I have learned over the past 7 years is that a comment like this, is usually some one opening a door, to hopefully repair or start to repair a relationship./

I AM NOT TAKING SIDES. What I am saying is everyone has some kind of pain. Like us the put a mask on. A lot do not pass well, seem arrogant, mean. Lot of hurt behind that.

If this connection is important to you. You might consider a conversation about feelings, each listening, that talking in turn. You do not have to go deep.

Peace and courage

Glad you are feeling better Dawn. Keep us posted on how you are doing. I hope that the worst is behind you...

Hugs, Karen...

hi.

No worries Trina, you just get feeling better.

We are all here for you...

Hugs, Karen...

keep strong my friends. healing thoughts to trendy, and good work dawn with the ciggies. it is too quiet, and i have been here comes my dirty word, 'feelin' a tad lonely. my sis in melb is going to ring me later. got nocturia still, errr. not sure on mum, have inquired, awaiting news. got a instant message session in the morn with me shrink. doc thursday. got things to discuss and evaluate. it cold, brrr. been doin' me chores, still doin' me e-mails and some hw. keep well my friends.

thx mate. was advised late tonight that mum has not improved. they want family to discuss ECT. mum needs to consent, if not it goes to the mental health tribunal. mum is delusional, very delusional is what is reported. looks like i will meet my sis in there tomoz.

HT- I am sorry for the cold and noctura. I honestly hope that your mum gets better soon so she can feel like herself again. I hope all appointments go well and that you and sis have an easy time with your mum.

Karen- For me to stop it was easy, breathe or smoke! Well I like air so I am gonna stop and I hope never go back either. I hope! I know it is not easy but putting them down and not picking them back up is easiest for me to do even when I want one, my will power is weak, but if I can do it anyone can. I am pulling for ya hun.

Well it is the 3rd and I have not had a smoke since the 23 of June. I do not really crave them as I just crave the habit of having one in hand. It's strange.

I am super tired as I didn't fall asleep until 5am then was up at 9am and then again at 11am and then at 3pm. So very broken sleep. I need to get to Walmart but I am still so winded that I don't wanna push too hard. Ugh!

More later on.