Help me I am drowning

I am drowning in sorrow, no hope, no joy I cannot imagine waking up every dayfeeling like this-am on welbutrin xl paxil cr ambien cr sinemet HBP meds and diazepam for out of control attacks-I feel lost, scared worthless (something my husband likes to remind me of) alone, empty, have had 2 days of "normal"functioning in last 2 months.

Anybody out there have any coping methods? MY psych's deep breathing and muscle relaxation are doing nothing and cannot be popping xanax like M & Ms with a 9 yr old.

I guess I just need to know someone is out there who's been where I am

Thanks for listening

Much love Mags

Hi.

     I can not imagine what you are going through, losing your home, and having to start over. What made me sure I needed to reply to your message is that need to find some coping mechanisms. I know how that feels. Xanax is a hard road to go down I was on it, had seizures and had to go off of it which is VERY difficult. So please use them sparingly. It may be helpful to have a email buddy list- people you can count on to interract with you everyday.Even if you do not feel like writing, do it anyway. It took me being on my meds at a high dose for 3 months to finally feel ok. No panic about seizures, no depression (I have blues that are reasonable now).

     If you have regular email access, get a small support group going. You can add me to your list, my email addresss is available on my profile.

I am usually on the crohn's disease forum but I also have depression and happen to look over here today.  I have had a hard time with feeling worthless, mostly when I was unemployed for 14 months and almost lost everything including my life.  It sounds as you and your husband are dealing with so much that it has stressed your relationship.  I think that is to be expected to some degree.  Maybe you could get low cost counseling.  At least for yourself if he won't go too.  I know having someone put you down constantly can be hard to deal with.  I divorced partly because of it.

As for coping methods you might try yoga.  I have started it and after a few weeks I found that it really did help with my stress.  I recommend stuff by Suzanne Deason, she is a good instructor.  I have a couple of her videos.  I wish you the best in the days ahead.