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Posted 12/22/2005 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
Today was my third visit to a P doc. On my first visit, he asked me if I had filed for SS disability and I told him I had. Ever since then I've felt that he felt I am a leech because I filed. All I've done is cry when I'm in his office. Today I had my myleogram, CT scan and MRI reports in my hand and when he asked me what I had, I handed it to him and cried even harder, telling him I felt like a leech on society because I thought he thought I am. He seemed almost belligerent to me as he said he should have his license withdrawn if he made me feel that way. And then said maybe I should find another dr. if I thought that.

 I was bawling even harder and told him that I felt like a leech. He apparently doesn't like lawyers for some reason, but said he had mailed reports to my attorney as my attorney had asked. He then asked if he could call in my husband, who had taken me there, and talked to him and me about my depression and meds, about the fact that all I say in his office is confidential and told me that I should find a new outlet for my brain since I'm not able to work anymore. He also said he might increase my depression med and scheduled me to come back in mid. January.

 What do you think about this? Is it me or him? Both of us?

Posted 12/22/2005 9:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hard to say how much of it is him, as long as you feel so badly about the position you are in. I cried too when I signed up for food stamps and felt exactly as you did--even though the prior year my then husband and I had paid a huge, really huge, amount in income and corporate taxes. He had money and I had to turn to the federal government to feed my kids. I felt like a leech and a fool.

Those programs are there to help people who are entitled under the rules. You need to get that sorted out in your head and then figure out about the doctor.

I rather like him saying that he should have his license withdrawn if he made you feel that way. He sounds like me--says what he means and means what he says. One of the nicer things about that is that while it's tough to talk to people like him or me, we really listen, because we expect you to talk straight too. All my professionals talk like that, but they also seem a bit less inclined to fire up. So on the other hand he could just be lousy, and said that because he likes the sound of it.

So for me it's still a toss up. I'd wait a bit before making any decisions.

bev
Posted 1/24/2006 5:15 AM (GMT 0)

Hi there.  Please don't feel bad.  If you run to another doctor while you are this emotional you might have a whole new situation of feeling like a leech with the new doc.  Atleast give him one more chance where you are a little calmed down.  It seems like You see yourself as a leech therefore (sp) you believe he sees you as a leech.  What you believe about yourself is usually what you think others are judging you on.

Maybe visit him again and tell him .... I feel like a leech.  I feel like people are judging me.  And when you asked me the question YOU didn't make me feel anything.  I feel it all by myself. 

Because that is what you say over an over in your post.  I feel ... I feel... and the fact you brought in papers to proove to him you really needed help.  This p doc could be the best to help you because he has seen how upset you are and how emotionally difficult this is.  If you go to another p doc you might just try to hide these feelings. 

You need to know you are not a leech!  You are using the system for what it was intended for.  I understand sooooo much.  Injuries, lawyers, insurance companies.  I am going through it right now.  I have also been able to find an at home based phone job and received my first paycheck today.  I don't know if it would be enough to knock you off SS benefits.  I bet I will make $800 - $1200 a month doing it.

I am NOT trying to sell you anything - just I am very proud I got my first check today.  I feel that i am doing something to help support my family.  I will give you some info if you want to PM me.  Or anybody else who wants too.  Again I am not selling anything.  Just an injured person who got a paycheck in the mail and is very happy!  :-)

Lots of HUGS! C


Post Edited (Citykittie) : 1/23/2006 10:21:54 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/24/2006 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
wait.... can you even private message on here?
Posted 1/24/2006 3:01 PM (GMT 0)

Hi paper,  We need to look at this situation sensibility for a second ok?  One, if your psychiatrist suggested upping your antidepressant than it is more than obvious to him that you are depressed and his medication regime is not working.  Second, you don't have to prove anything to him.  If you had a MRI, and other medical tests done that is for the medical physician to submit to social security. NOT your psychiatrist.  Third, if he had already filled out the paperwork for SSD why did he ask you if you had filed? 

You can not take ownership for what your psychiatrist feels or thinks.  He asked if you filed you said you did that should of been it. End of subject.  There are lots of people on SSDI that is what it is for rather it is a mental or physical condition that prevents you from working.  Atedogs is correct, this is money that you and your employer have paid into the system at 15% per pay period.  Please stop feeling bad about it.  If you need it you need it.

I would suggest that you take Citykitty's advice and calm down and reassess the situation after your next visit.  If it still doesn't feel right with him to you than change doctors.  You should have a physician that you are comfortable with and that is compassionate to your needs.

Please keep us informed of how it goes.

~elisha

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