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Posted 2/11/2006 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
 Hello I am new and I am glad to meet everyone.  I have been reading some of the messages but this is my first time posting.  I believe that I am struggling with depression.  I say "believe" because I have not been officially diagnosed.  As a matter of fact I haven't even been to the doctor's about it(I know I need to go). I do go for counselling once every two weeks.  When I get home I am okay for a while(maybe a couple of days).  Then the vicious cycle starts again.  Everyday my mood swings up and down like crazy.  I feel like I am bi-polar or something.  I am married and I have seven children(15years and younger).  I am not having a good relationship with my husband.  Today he decided to go out for the day because we are not getting along(I don't think he will be home all night).  I feel so alone everyday.  I am not crying much anymore.  I more or less feel numb now.  I have never taken medication before so if I do it will be very new to me.  There are many things I have no desire to do anymore.  Yet, there are a few things that seem to help me feel better(ie, cooking, baking).  My husband doesn't understand and is usual angry with me.  This really "bites"!  I have no idea how I got like this.  Even my body aches everyday!  I can relate with some of the other topics too such as "anxiety disorder."  I am assuming that depression and anxiety are connected.  Anyhow, it is nice to meet all of you and I hope it's okay to say you are in my prayers.

 

Post Edited (Chrisi) : 2/11/2006 4:23:50 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/12/2006 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Chrisi :) I am new here as well... have posted several times tho... but just wanted to so HIYA! I have been floating from the depression, anxiety/panic disorder, and Bipolar threads here as I suffer from Bipolar and severe anxiety. I am sorry to hear of your troubles, and wish the best for you. I know these are some difficult times for you, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nice to meet ya!!

blessings........ kimmy
Posted 2/12/2006 4:02 AM (GMT 0)

Thanks for saying "hello".... I really hate it when my husband is so angry at me.  I can't help this.  I keep telling him there is something wrong but he just doesn't hear me.  He is blaming me for everything and it only makes me feel more depressed(whatever happened to "in sickness and in health, untill death do us part").  I have to go to the doc's soon anyways.  So I'll have to wait to hear what he says.  I have been pretty moody all my life and even years ago I thought something was wrong.  But now it is the worst.  Some days I actually think I'm going nuts.  Med's have been mentioned by so many of my friends.  I am totally scared of going to the doc's though.  I can wake up in the morning and be fine for a couple of hours and then "wham".....I have lost it.  One minute I am happy and the next...well...miserable.  I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The thing that bothers me the most is I feel numb now emotionally.  This is a new one for me!  I don't know my background cause I'm adopted.  So I don't know if it runs in my family.  Anyways....good nite and God bless!

Post Edited (Chrisi) : 2/11/2006 9:12:24 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/12/2006 10:31 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Chrisi,  Welcome to Healing Well.  I am glad that you found us. 

There are so many kind caring people here willing to help no matter what they are going through in their lives.

I wanted to say that with you being adopted there is no way to know if depression or any mental illness runs in your familys past history.  However, there are certain things that a physician will look for when trying to diagnosis these.  I agree with atedogs in that you need to find a psychiatrist to assess the situation.  Your counselor should be able to point you in the right direction there.

It sounds as if you have alot on your plate and are being left to handle everything on your own.  Then your husband is causing you more stress and worry by leaving and making wonder if he is coming home.  If I read your post right?  Maybe some joint counseling would be a good idea?

Anyhow, we are here for you when ever you need us. 

Posted 3/10/2006 9:25 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Chrisi,Im sorry to hear about all your going trough.It sounds like you have alot to cope with right now,and when it overwhelms you,it can definitely cause depression. I agree that you should see a psychiatrist,they can help you the most at this time in your life.Im speaking from experience with depression and anxiety,there is meds.that can help you get through this.Sometimes we need a little extra help when life throws us too much to handle.Its ok to seek help.I wish you all the best.We will try to help as much as we can.
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