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looking for someone in a simular situation can you help????

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Posted 2/15/2006 6:02 PM (GMT 0)
Please help me!!  I need to know where to go to talk to anyone who has a spouse that is depressed and I think I am border line going over the edge!!!  If you can help or send me in the right direction.......... confused     charlie girl
Posted 2/15/2006 6:07 PM (GMT 0)
I got help from a behavorial health center in a local hospital. United Way may offer counseling also. Sorry I can't be of more help.
Posted 2/15/2006 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Call your doctor today and ask him/her to refer you to a therapist or psychologist.
Posted 2/17/2006 8:40 PM (GMT 0)

My wife suffers from depression/anxiety ,we had a real rough time till we went to see our family doctor and she prescribed some anti depressants and refreered us to counselling ,worked for me my wife for the most part controls her dep/anx thru meds but ,I can understand how you are feeling ,it is very hard and wears you down after awhile ,at least it did to me ..

J

Posted 2/17/2006 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Charlie Girl.

My husband suffers from depression. It is very hard on me. Most of the time I feel like I am all alone in the situation. When he has an episode where the depression is really bad he shuts down...he becomes very self-absorbed, doesn't seem to care to meet my needs, and just seems to say things that are hurtful.
I feel bad for admittin this, but sometimes it is hard for me to be supportive when he says things that are hurtful. I have been researching places for support groups for spouses (especially wives). I haven't been able to find much out there.
Is there anyone who is in my situation who can offer some advice to me?

eah
Posted 2/17/2006 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
I have learned over last few years that when my wife says hurtful things ,as hard as it is to understand )she doesnt mean them and she will tell me that later .EAH,when my darling wife goes into one of her depressed states ,I usually walk away and do something productive because I have learned sometimes it is easier to walk awayy from confrontation (IE... the hurtful things she says )but in the same sense always keep the lines of communication open ,if he shuts himself down ,pop in and ask if there is anything you can do or get him ...chances are he will say no but as I descover with my wife ,when she does come around she has told me that knowing I am there means alot even if I am not doing anything but,just checking in with her ....(but I usually dont get much positive vibes from her when I am checking in on her..thats a couple things zI do ...and dont get me wrong its not easy and I feel the same as you do my needs are not always met either
stay strong and you always have an ear here to vent at
J
Posted 2/18/2006 11:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Charlie Girl   Welcome to healing well forum.  We are so glad to have you.  I wondered if you have tried counseling for you both?  If you are unsure of where to go you can ask your family care doctor for a referral or you can look up one in the phone book.  If your financial resources are limited or you don't have insurance that will cover counseling that you can get information from the Samaritan Center and Division of Family Services.  Also some churches offer counseling if you are okay with this.  The important thing is to sit down with your spouse and talk to him about your feelings.  A lot of times a person who is depressed will not recognize the signs of it and men tend to be more reluctant to seek help.  So you may have to give him a gentle push.  As for support groups of depressed spouses I dont think I have seen this anywhere.  It is a good idea though.  You are more than welcome to come here and post anytime.
Posted 2/18/2006 11:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi eah,  I also wanted to tell you welcome to Healing Well forum. 

I understand what you are saying about your husband all to well as I am like this when I get depressed.  I tend to shut down and can say harsh things during these times.  It isn't that I cant control it I think it is more that I don't really care how I can make other people feel.  But then later I will reflect on what I have said and start to feel bad or guilty which doesn't help my depression any.  I have been on antidepressants for years and for the most part they help but it is the combination of meds and therapy that has helped me the most.  I can only wish that I went to therapy when I was married, maybe I wouldn't of be so willing to give up and walk out. 

Anyway, maybe counseling for both of you would be a good idea?


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