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Posted 3/24/2006 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
Ok I am new!!! I feel like crap all the time. For a period of 3 weeks I felt happy. I havn't been happy for 6 years. I am 16! My name is Kayla, by the way, and I am new. I need help. I have been told that I am ADHD, ADD, Bipolor, Depressive Bipolor, and Skico. I don't know what to do. Ok, for awhile, I was so happy, but now I am not! When I was younger I lived with my father from the age of 4 to the age of 15. There was alot of mental abuse, and a little physical abuse. I remember very little for that time. It is like my life is a black hole of nothingness. The were a serices of bad events that happened at my fathers house, so December, 22 of 2004 I moved in with my grandmother (my mother's mom). She took my to a doctor and I got a bunch of test done. The doctor concluded that I am bipolor/depressive. So I got put on meds for it. Well about August of 2005, I started have really bad anxity attacks. They were so bad, that when I would leave my house, I couldn't breather and I would get light headed, and sick to my stomack. Everything was so bad. Well, my grandmother went after my father for child support. His mother died in feb. of 06. I got 128 $ from her. That was hard. Then my grandmother(that I live with) found out I wasn't taking my med.s and she agreed to go along with it. Well, from about the beging of feb. of 06 to about a week ago, I was happy, and I am starting to feel like crap, and I don't know what to do anymore!!!!! I don't know it's all ****ed up!!!! excuse the lanugage. Sorry. I am just so.........NUMB! Thats how I would describe it! NUMB.......SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 3/24/2006 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sweetheart,
The first thing you should know is that it gets better, honestly. I was in a similar boat when I was your age. Back and forth from abusive step-father's, to grandparents, to sometimes dad's with the extremely jealous, mentally abusive stepmother. I felt like "What's the point? and it doesn't matter because noone cares about me?" You have to remember that no matter what anyone in your life has told you, that you are special. Everyone is, but some of us have been convinced other wise and have to work harder at finding ourselves out of the mess those careless people have taught us. None of the negative junk that has been taught to you is true. It can't be because it was coming from a self loathing, miserable, weak person who couldn't help himself and if he allowed you to know how special you are, you would be stronger than him. These weak, abusive people try to manipulate us to stay down so they feel like they have control of something. Be sure, you have survived more than many people have endured in their lifetime and you will be much stronger for it and you'll have the upper hand later. It seems like it will never end, but believe me, you need to keep going toward the light. Choosing the higher path in every situation. Do the difficult thing and be the bigger person. Don't fall in to the trap of looking for missed hugs in the arms of boys or men who tell you what you'd like to hear, that will only keep you down longer and give you more to get over in the long run. Have you been seeing a therapist lately?
Posted 3/25/2006 12:29 AM (GMT 0)

Hi in and out,  Welcome to the depression board.  We are glad to try to help in any way we can.

There are lots of us here that have had childhoods very similar to what you have described just as fleebee has said.  Sixteen is a very hard age to be and when you add in all the additional things that you have been through it can be expected that you would be depressed and have some anxiety.  You have listed off quite an impressive list of diagnoses for someone so young.  I was kinda of curious how your doctor came about the diagnosis for schizophrenia (this is what you meant by "Skico"?)?  It usually takes a long to get a diagnosis of this and much diagnostic study of the patient under hospitalization most times.  It isn't unheard of that someone so young could have a dual diagnosis of Bipolar and Schizophrenia though. 

My suggestion would be to consult a new psychiatrist for a second opinion on diagnosis and treatment.  They can obtain your medical records from your previous one and review it and make a clinical decision based on that and whatever new findings they make.  My point is that if you do have Bipolar and Schizophrenia then you do indeed need to be treated for it and be on medication.  Bipolar is manic depression and you will have extreme highs and really low lows which on medication it will help level this out.  It is very important that you always follow your doctors recommendations.  Especially if he has prescribed you medication you should never just stop it without consulting them.  Please let us know how it goes.

Take care...

Posted 3/25/2006 4:28 AM (GMT 0)
els---- well, I am not sure, My father had me going to BAD DOCTORS!!!! I had heard voices ion the locker room at school. So ya it has been a trip......my boyfriend really helps take my mind off things. He kind of understands. His childhood wasn't that great either, but I don't want to get into that, because I don't know if he wants you know that kind of stuff

fleebee.......Yes I got to like 4 different people, and the only ones who help is my boyfriend none of the thearpey helps. All I want is for my father to acknoladge my exicentince and my mother to see what she is doing to her other two childeren
Posted 3/25/2006 5:58 AM (GMT 0)
in an out of it all,

Given your feelings of reluctance based on your experience with doctors, I would go to a psychologist for counseling about all this; a psychologist is not the same as a psychiatrist. A psychologist will help you with your thinking and feelings as applicable, and will direct you with problem-solving skills an solutions; a psychologist does not prescribe meds, simply counsels; so they aren't as apt to shove meds at you as a solution. However, they are properly trained to recognize when additional care is needed, such as medication ... and a psychologist also has oodles of information on hand to supply you with direction should you need more care and/or evaluation(s). Medical or otherwise; they are linked to many helpful resources.
Posted 3/25/2006 6:13 AM (GMT 0)
I have been to many different psychologist! The school counslers, and the people who give you drugs. None of them help, because they just don't understand.. I have a very complacated life and I can't always explain how I feel in words!!!! Thankyou for you advice
Posted 3/25/2006 6:31 AM (GMT 0)
in and out of it all,

Have you tried to write your feelings down? Perhaps keep a journal? As for your experience with psychologists, a school counselor would not be feasible. You need someone that has the credentials and experience to go more in-depth with you in a more well-rounded fashion.
Posted 3/25/2006 1:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi in and out,  I agree with Neurotransmissing here.  It is really great that you have reached out and tried to get help from many different sources however, expecting school counselors to help your situation is not going to work.  I would strongly suggest that you communicate your feelings to your grandmother since she apparently has guardianship over you, correct?  She would be the one to make decisions on which physicians/therapists to take you too.  When a person has Bipolar Disorder it is common symptom for them to hear voices.  I do know it is very scary I have worked in the mental health field for many years.  Also I have 3 people close to me with this same disorder.  If your diagnosis is correct you than really should be on medication for it.  Sometimes it takes some going back and adjustments for the doctor to find a medication that will work just right for you as everyone is different and will react differently to the medications.  Please talk to your grandmother and let her try to help you.

Posted 3/25/2006 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thankyou all for your aDVICE, i AM CONSIRDERING going to the doctor and getting help!!!
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