HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

am i having a mental breakdown

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 4/3/2006 1:25 AM (GMT 0)
am i having a mental breakdown

i have suffered from depression,anxiety amongst other mental health issues all my life, i float from bad stages to bearable ones and occassinaly have some good stages(which are rare).but for the last 4 months iv hit rock bottom been the worst ever.iv basically turned into a hermit i have withdrawn into myself i avoid seeing friends even answering the phone to them, i just want to sleep be be on my own and hideaway. cant cope with life or face the world or anything or anyone in it.iv tried getting out the od day trying to pull myself together like find work so forth. but i just feel so drained like im passed it like i give up on life, i just get in the house shut the curtains hide in my bed for days feeling completly numb, none of the ambitions and things that used to be in my life matter anymore i just want curl up in the dark and be somewere else ,i just find myself reflecting on all the regrets i have in life i feel its to late for me,i feel so disconected and confused .or maybe im just a strange basket case, cant seem to get positive or lift my spirits.help confused

Posted 4/3/2006 12:28 PM (GMT 0)

Hi livepast,  I am sorry I didn't get to your post sooner...we had some pretty big thunder storms through our area last night and I always unplug my computers. 

It sounds like your in the grips of a deep depression.  Are you taking any medication for depression or anxiety?  I cant remember if you have posted that before or not, sorry  sad  .  would suggest seeking the advice of a psychiatrist or doctor as soon as possible.  You dont have to live feeling like this....

Posted 4/3/2006 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
thanks elisha

it means a lot someone out there listening, maybe i should seek help but dont know how to do, it feel i cant do anything right just now.im not on meds or counciling at the moment i have in the past but it wasnt very helpful, im good at disguising my illness im to proud to be honest of the severity. i just dont know how to go about it, what do i say to the doctor they might think im wasting there time and its all my own fault.
Posted 4/3/2006 10:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hi livepast -

Welcome to the HealingWell forum. There are a lot of kind and supportive people here. Just posting here is a great first step, it means that a part of you does want to get better. Now, ask yourself - are you willing to take another step? If so, then contacting your primary care physican won't be a waste of his/her time or your's since it's their job to make people feel better. One suggestion that I've heard to make it easy to approach a doctor is to download a depression checklist and complete each question honestly. Present the completed form to the doctor for discussion. As long as your fill out the questionaire truthfully - it will give the doctor the information he/she needs to help you feel better.

Best -
Posted 4/4/2006 4:03 PM (GMT 0)

Oh livepast - I understand completely....Sadsong has posted some very good advice for you.  Which I am sure you have read already if your reading this post :-) .  Your primary care physician is more than qualified to prescribe an antidepressant for you.  Also, please dont feel like your wasting their time or its your fault for being like this....doctors understand depression and the severity of it.  I always kinda think of mine as a small black hole, really dark with slippery almost muddy sides.  When I start to fall down that hole it is so hard to climb my way back up.  Right now I have a nice rug covering that dark hole so I cant see it, it is called Effexor and I take it everyday. lol!!  Oh, and I am also very good at covering up my illness and putting on a certain image for everyone else to see (only what I want them too).  I think perhaps everyone does this to some extent.  Take care and let us know how it goes...in the mean time were here for you.....

Posted 4/5/2006 5:43 AM (GMT 0)
thanks atedogs

how did you pull yourself out of the rut? its just iv never been as bad as this cant imagine there being any light at the end of the tunnel.id like to hear step by step ways you can improve a nightmare like this.
Anyway im taking everyones advice and getting myself to the gp hope fully the next time i post il be on the road to recovery, maybe start posting something more positive than the doom and gloom.
live
Posted 4/5/2006 12:47 PM (GMT 0)
I hope so live...you will be in my thoughts.  Have a wonderful day!!! tongue
Posted 4/6/2006 12:38 AM (GMT 0)
Hello livepast, this is my first post so please forgive me if I mess up.

Everyone might think me off the wall, but when I was as bad as where you are right now, I didn't want to go to my regular doctor. I didn't want him telling my husband. I don't have insurance, so I couldn't just pick up the phone and make an appointment with a psych for $200 an hour either. I was lucky. I found a crisis line. I could talk to someone without them knowing who I was. I told them how I felt. (Read them the post you made.) They were able to direct me to a clinic that was a sliding fee scale, and even gave medicine for free. The clinic didn't know me, my husband, my kids, or anyone I knew. I was free to be totally honest and it cost me nothing. I had gone to doctors before, but because of lack of money, I would not go back. Finding this clinic allowed me to get continued help. Along with major depression, I was diagnosed with bipolar and bpd. This was only possible because I was able to go for a longer period of time and they got to know me (my moods).

I would be so nervous, I would forget everything I wanted to say. Now I write it all down ahead of time. Recently, a few days before my appt. I have been spending hours typing letters to the doctors; how I feel, symptoms, fears, hopes of improvement, complaints, everything. I hold it for a day or so just so I am not typing stuff impulsively that I will regret later, and then I fax it to them. Some people send their docs email. Anyway, the next appt., they already know how I feel, which saves a lot of time, and then we discuss it. It works great. It's like getting two hours for the price of one!

If you have gone to the doctors before and it hasn't worked, you may be dealing with more than just depression, so please call for help. Pat yourself on the back for getting online to post here, that in itself takes effort, believe me I know. - denise
Posted 4/6/2006 3:40 AM (GMT 0)
sad  I know exactly were you are coming from! I hate that anyone feels the way we do. I wish there was a magic cure. **   I found that I pretend to be asleep when any of my children visit or if my husband is home, that way I do not have to interact with anyone.

 

I have dealt with this for so long that for me to go months without stepping foot out the door is not unusual.Please don't let yourself get to the point that I am at. My only communication with the outside world is once or twice a week I may check this web site.

 

If your not that bad yet, find something ,ANYTHING to do to keep yourself going.I am sending you a real big hug and I hope that it makes some of the really bad feelings pop out and get lost for all eternity. Never give up hope.

Posted 4/6/2006 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
thanks denton

ye being like this is really scary im doing my best to try and get out of this mess, i just feel like all my energy and strenght has been zapped out of me.iv arranged appts to see prof this week even if i have to drag myself there, and this time im going to be honest about how bad i am.

thanks for your support hopefully everyone with this affliction will over come it one day .
Posted 4/6/2006 4:54 AM (GMT 0)
livepast, even if you don't have the energy to get yourself there, recruit a friend or family member to come to your home and drag you to the doctor. I can't make myself go. I told all of my family that I had an appointment last week in hopes that someone would see to it that I kept the appointment ,no one did so I didn't go. Next time I get the courage to make an appointment I will tell them that if they want me to be around for awhile they have to make me go. I am sort of afraid that I will not know where to turn if they still don't help me keep my appointment. I don't communicate well with anyone anymore.
Posted 4/6/2006 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi wv-yankee,  I just wanted to take a moment to welcome you to Healing Well forum.  You gave some wonderful advice and I hope that you continue to visit the forums.  Take care....
Posted 4/6/2006 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
ye i know

maybe i should get someone to come along with me even do some of the talking tell the doctor how bad i am. As just now i feel like even my speach is effected i dont think il make much sense. cause i dont want to risk missing the appointment , it takes a week in advance to get appt at my surgery.Ineed to get there as im getting worse by the day.
Posted 4/7/2006 12:07 AM (GMT 0)
If you really believe you wont go to the appointment without help or encouragement from someone else then please do enlist someone you trust to help you with this.  Also, you can print out your post from above to take to the doctor with you which explains pretty well how you've been feeling or you can Google "depression survey" and take one of those with you to the doctor.  Whichever of these you want to do or not at all is fine as long as you do get to the doctor and get the help you have been needing.  This is your life and you don't have to live it like this, in pain.  Were here for you.....
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply