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isolationism and the stigma of mental illness

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Posted 4/11/2006 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
 

  I am upset that I have to worry about what people know about my personal business.  I worry about what people think of me alot.  When I was first diagnosed with depression I told some people I had it because I thought maybe I could talk to them about it or whatever.  Now I do not tell anyone because of the reactions I have got or am worried about getting.  I worry that it will get out.

  I do not like dealing with people.  From what they say to me and what I can figuer out people think negative things about me.  I hate dealing with people I am sick of people.  They think I don't want to work because I am lazy.  I am a loser.  I am selfish or whatever.  I am a spoiled kid.

  This is really upsetting me cause I cannot ask people for help.  I have to try and lie my way around why I don't work so much or what I am doing.  I cannot tell someone I laid in bed all day.

  There is nothing I can do.  If I tell them I am depressed no one cares. 

  People just do not understand depression.  I know people who are in medical professions and thier attitudes are that I need to quit being lazy or a whimp and to quit whinning about stuff.

  This depression sucks cause people look down on me when they find out what kind of person I am.

  I have tried to be a good person all my life now I feel like a jerk.  I am sick of worrying about what people will find out about me.  I am sick of people period.

  Not to mention the usual kind of people who try to get one over on anyone they can and to put others down to make themselves look better.  Then when I get mad at people and tell them off they try and make me look bad.

  I don't even know what to think anymore.  Am I the jerk or is it them?

  I cannot tell people nothing.  I am never gonna go anywhere in life.  I mean techniquely speaking I am worthless.

 

Posted 4/11/2006 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Are you on medication for the depression?  It can help with feelings of worthlessness.  Counseling may be a good idea for you also.  It really shouldn't matter what other people think of you, just what you think of yourself.

Posted 4/11/2006 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
I know how you feel.  I live in a really small town, where everyone gossips about everyone.  Sometimes I feel that if there was an US weekly for my town, I would be on the cover every week.  It would say things like "Avaroos dirty little secret comes out..DEPRESSION!!!" or "Avaroo leaves work in shambles".  I try to hide it and get angry that people don't seem to understand depression.  I have decided like most things in life however you dont really understand it until you go through it.  You cant worry about what others think though and you can always come here where people wont judge you and will lend an ear.
Posted 4/13/2006 3:03 AM (GMT 0)
I was in a mental institution for two weeks. When my parents came to visit my Dad wouldn't look me in the face and my Mom was in tears (and I volentarily entered). As bad as the stigma of depression is, it is getting better. Fifteen or twenty years ago you might get the reaction a person "just won't snap out of it" or "he's just lazy" from a medical doctor. Unforchantly this information hasn't spread to a great majority of the population. Getting the right medication can do wonders with your motivation. Never allow others to blame you for an illness, you didn't ask for it more than someone who breaks their arm. You do, however, have to look into more resources for youself (you did the internet). Oh, by the way I broke my wrist a while back. When the Doc was moving it back into place he said I was the "one of the toughest people he'd met", so I know I am not a whimp. It doesn't make sense to not set a broken bone, why not "set" your broken emotions?
Posted 4/16/2006 2:25 PM (GMT 0)

jjjjj

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I understand.

I don't know if you'll believe me or not, but I want to tell you that if you can change the way you think about yourself and the worries you have about yourself and what others are thinking about you if you can get into some good therapy. It is very interesting to start looking at your perceptions and see why they are what they are and how they happen. You can have a much better life when you begin to understand your own processes. The things you said in your post would be the things you would take to a therapist and talk about.

I hope you will consider it. It would be helpful to you all of your life to find new ways to see things and to be able to feel a part of the world instead of an outsider. It is something that medications can't do for you. It's an investment in you and you are important.

Nanse

Posted 4/21/2006 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
Dear jjjjj,

I have found the opposite reaction to be true for me. I have suffered from severe clinical depression for over a year and was off work for several months in the beginning. Thankfully I have a supportive family who didn't judge me for sleeping all the time during the worst of it. I have also found a good therapist who I trust and can speak with about anything.

When I returned to work I was put on intermittent leave for my condition, which I am still on, and have to leave work or miss work many days because of my condition (today, for example). My management team at work have been very kind and supportive of me and have never made me feel as though they look down on me in any way. I never feel as though people think any less of me because I suffer from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I have met others who also suffer from mental problems, and find it very comforting to talk with others who understand my condition. Online support like we have here is also very important.

I know it is hard to trust others, especially when you suffer from depression or anxiety. I agree with Nanse that finding a therapist is a great place to start finding that trust.

Best wishes and (((hugs))),

Bear
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