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if my meds aren't working, maybe i'm not really depressed...?

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Posted 6/22/2006 9:45 AM (GMT 0)
hi... i'm new to this so i don't really know what i'm doing... but i just find that i always have questions that i can't find the answers to on the internet or from anywhere, so i was thinking this might help... so i was wondering, i have been on an antidepressant (lexapro) for about two months... and i am diagnosed with depression and GAD, and like i understand why i was diagnosed with those things, but i just keep second guessing everything and wondering what if i am not really depressed at all and i am just making big deals out of nothing, or i am just feeling sorry for myself, or i just need to get over it and stop being so lazy and so sensitive, and i just need to change... and the reason i started thinking those things is because it doesn't seem like the lexapro is doing anything, i feel the same way... and so if it's not working, maybe i wasn't even depressed to begin with... i mean maybe it could be that i just need to give it more time, or try a different medication, but i just am scared that maybe it means i'm not really depressed at all...

that scares me because if i'm not... i have ruined my life for absolutely no reason besides apathy and self pity...

i'm sorry if that is confusing... or if i was too vague... i'm not sure how much i should share about things without being too boring or detailed...

anyways, thanks for reading and any advice if anyone has any

michele

Posted 6/22/2006 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ya michele, welcome to healing well forum, we are happy to have you.  So you have been diagnosed with Depression and GAD and were prescribed Lexapro which you have been taking for 2 months now..correct?  Lexapro is an antidepressant and if you have been on it for 8 weeks then it should of reached its therapeutic level by now.  Meaning you should be getting some benefit from the drug.  However, not all antidepressants are going to work for everyone this is why it is SO important for you to communicate these things with you doctor so they can adjust your medications accordingly.  Please don't feel like your being lazy or trying to gain self pity as depression is a very serious medical condition that you have NO control over.  My suggestion to you would be to call you doc and let them know how your feeling, or try to get an appointment ASAP.  Don't let another day go by feeling this way...We are always here, so feel free to keep posting.  You can find lots of information and support from people that have gone through the exact same things.  Please let us know how it goes.  Take care
Posted 6/22/2006 7:21 PM (GMT 0)
hi i was diagnosed 12yrs ago with depression, i have tried many meds and even though i have been on venlofaxin for 2 yrs and i didnt think it was working, when i tried to cut down on it with a veiw to stopping (my idea) i felt awful.I went to my psyciatrist who suggested i put my meds back up again and i have now been given another to take alongside it.Even though i dont think i am any better, i obviously am as i dont feel as bad as when i had cut the dose down.I think i thought being on anti depressents would make me feel as i did before i became ill.Now i realise that this illness changes you some people feel like their old selves, some of us feel different my perspective on life has changed i must admitt i am more of a pessamist.I now no i am allways going to be on meds(the idea scared me rotton) but now i am learning to accept the things i can do and accepting the things i carnt.please dont be disheartend this is a very nasty illness that doesnt go away overnight, just hang on in there.I dont know if this is making any sense to you, i hope so tke care. yeah
Posted 6/27/2006 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
thank you for the advice, i will try telling something to my doctor about how i'm not feeling any better. it is very hard for me to tell him how i feel. i find myself lying to my psychiatrist and my therapist even about certain things, (making them seem less of a problem than they really are) because i'm afraid they will say that it's my fault. for example, i have a very very off sleep cycle. right now, i become tired enough to sleep at about noon, and then sleep until about nine at night. that sounds absolutely rediculous. and i know it is. and so i am afraind to tell them that because i'm scared they will just say well it's your fault you got so off in the first place... and so when my doctor asks me what time i go to sleep i usually say about 2 or 3 am and wake up about 1 or 2 pm. and even telling him just that, even though it wasn't true, he thinks i may have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder called delayed sleep phase syndrome... he told me to tell my parents and have them make an appointment with a sleep clinic. when i told me parents however, they told me they didn't think it was necessary because what i had done to my sleeping was my fault and that i never have tried anything to fix it, even though it has been going on since i was 13. they continued to say that not only was the sleep problem due to bad choices i had made, but that where i am today is all my fault due to choices i have made and that i just need to face it and stop being so lazy about everything. and i just don't know what to do. i feel like i have tried SO HARD just to be okay, just to get up in the morning and have enough motivation to even shower and do everyday things... and that has been struggle enough without having to worry about a job or school, since it is the summer... so i feel like have been trying and trying to fix things, i hate how my life is, and of course i don't want it to be this way, and i just don't think they realize that i am struggling with just being alive.... and that anything else on top of that just seems so hard and so impossible.....

and all the while they just keep telling me to stop feeling so sorry for yourself. stop moping around. it makes me very very angry. and frustrated. and confused. because what if they are right?



sorry i know that was long and kind of disorganized... i'm just not doing well right now and i needed to get that out and that's just how it came out... okay well anyways, thanks again for any advice.
Posted 6/27/2006 4:43 PM (GMT 0)

hi beth i read your reply,exuse any spelling mistakes im not have a very good brain activity cay.lol.Right one the worst thing anyone can say to a depresses person is its your fault and pull yourself together, dont these people realise we do not want to be like this,obviously not or they wouldnt be so insensative in the first place.

You are so tired because you are beating yourself up over this, and it is going round and round in your head untill you are mentally egsausted, i know because iam the same.The people though who you ahould be telling the truth to are your therapists.if you lie to them how can they help you, it isnt your fault you are ILL just like anyone who has a thyroid deficiancy,or diabetis.Please tell them the truth about your slepping patterns.They might give you some sleeping pills to get you back into the habbit of sleeping ok, they did with me and i no longer take them.Iusually sleep ok noe though i do still ahve a nap in the afternoon, but my med have a slight sedative effect.if you cannot tell your parents how you feel ask your dr to have a word with them if you donot get help soon hun, you are not goin to get any better.take care and let me know how it goes. lots of love lorrainexxx

Posted 6/28/2006 11:55 AM (GMT 0)
Hi michele,  I am sooo sorry that your parents are so insensitive to what your going through.  I can imagine that you feel that you have no one to talk to.  Please know that therapists and psychiatrists dont judge you, they are there to help you and the problems your having.  If your not completely honest with them they cant do that.  They cant talk about what you say to them to your parents, as that is breaking your confidentiality.  It seems that you have heard this negative talk and feeling that your parents blame you for so long that you expect it from everyone, and that isnt the true or going to be the case.  Hugs
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