CYMBALTA - I like it but IT won't Let the Wolf SLEEP!

I just started Cymbalta today.  I am hyper by design.  I have autism, antisocial personality disorder and brain damage.  I have cerebral palsy lots of disabilities.  I know it is early yet but after the first pill 60 MG, I have noticed a few things I really do not like.

I have NO sex drive which I really do not miss being autistic.  Having antisocial personality disorder makes it a real constant struggle to keep my behavior within the expected parameters of societies rules under normal conditiions.  Cymbalta is making it much harder to keep the most negative antisocial desires that are ever present under strict management.  Thus far I have been able to keep my most base desires well managed but it is a real struggle I can not endure forever.

Cymbalta  makes me so hyper I can not sleep at all.  I am up all night.  I am not depressed or at least I feel good, but I am but I feel like I drank a river of coffee with tons of caffene.  I am kind of afraid because, I am feeling really inwardly aggressive  even at home alone like I want to fight something or someone but there is no one here for me to get mad at, which is not a good or safe place for me.

I am thinking about speaking to my doctor tomorrow, because this scares me.  Not being able to sleep at all is another Cymbalta negative.  I am happy that I am more alert now than I have been in a long time but, I would like it to wear off long enough for me to get at least a little sleep.  Let me know if any of you have any comments or suggestions.  I will let you know how my chat with my doctor works out later today.

Ok that tells me something right there.  My only experience with anti-depresants was when I took Elavil and Siniquan years ago.  I learned it was best to take them at bedtime.  Elavil and Siniquan really knocked me out right after ingestion so I had to take them at night just before bed.  Wrongly I figured Cymbalta would knock me out just like Elavil used to so I took it just before bedtime.  Its forum helped me out because I see from your posts that Cymbalta is likely best taken at mid-day or early in the morning.

On the Antisocial personality disorder yeah you are right it is a constant real time struggle.  Between fighting the effects of the autism and the antisocial personality disorder it took me 41 years to manage both with enough success to get and hold a job.  Trust me it is still hard to hold a job and deal with life in the world with both autism and antisocial personality disorder.  Sometimes I think I am holding on to success by only the slenderest spiders web sized thread.  That Cymbalta causes me to loose sleep is bad but, the fact that Cymbalta makes me less able to manage my antisocial personality disorder is my primary concern because that could potentially hurt me or others which is something I will not let happen.

So I will be talking with my doctor today about this.  Thanks for the taking Cymbalta in the morning tip because I would have had to  figure that part out.  Just puts me wise to the fact that not all antidepressants will act like the Elavil and Siniquan I grew up with.  Just so you know I take 60 mg of Cymbalta once a day.  Well thanks and I will let you know how it goes.  I will try to be here for you all as well.  Thanks again and best wishes from WOLF

I did not learn to master my antisocial personity disorder well enough to start working among people till I was aged 41.  I do not have a close relationship with my sisters or family for the same reasons.  I love my family and oddly enough they still love me.   We will help each other however and whenever needed but we do seldom if ever socialize because, I do not like being around people without a tangible goal we are striving for.  Social gatherings generally have no clearly defined goal so for me they are a disaster.

I did not learn to stop fighting at the drop of a hat till age 1995.  What changed me is I almost killed a friend I grew up with from high school because he stole $5 from me and then lied about it.  Generally when I had no memory of fights between me and the people I fought because, honestly I did not care about them whatsoever.  The difference with fighting my old friend is I did not want to kill him so I tried to restrain myself as such I remember a great deal of it.  I bashed the dude in the head with a heavy This End Up coffee table busting his face and giving him a concussion so serious he had to have it fixed by surgery.  He almost died all for stealing $5 from me.

I was shocked at seeing just how horrible I looked when I was in a blood rage.  Another time I learned about how aweful I Looked when upset occured when I was in a fight at a hospital and it was caught on video tape.  I saw the fear of me in the faces of good people I considered dear friends.  Having dear friends be afraid of me actually hurt me because, those people I would never hurt.  I realized I was a monster because, I felt nothing.  Since I feel nothing, having no conscience, I must manage my anger using pure intellect, logic and an understanding of the rules of polite society and its functioning.

I say all this because I want you to know their is hope for your loved one with Antisocial Personality Disorder.  Like him I spent most of my life wandering from one low paying job to another.  I'd stay at a job until someone got on my last nerve I'd blow up explode throw things smack someone, turn over a desk and leave.  Like him I had like almost 60 jobs in like 28 years before going giving psychological help as part of my rehabilitation plan that included me going to college for computer science.  Just know there is hope for him.  Sometimes if a person with Antisocial Personality Disorder works long enough with time and age they learn to manage their antisocial personality disorder.  Just know there is hope for him.  Like you My sisters Love me in that they will help me if needed but they do not like me and frankly I do not blame them.

Best Wishes WOLF