Sad, down and don't have motivation

I'm new here but I decided to join in the hope to find some help and support. I think I am suffering from depression and I just don't know what to do.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and I think that it has started me off being depressed. I have always had it in me looking back over the years but I think that this break up has made it worse. I am 25 and I just don't feel motivated about life anymore. Since breaking up with the bf I have realised I don't have very many friends and the friends I do still have aren't very close and I don't bother calling them or seeing them. I am lonely. I am also getting colds and flus every 2 weeks or so which means time off from work and I hate then having to go back to work and face everyone. I have had the past 2 and a bit weeks off from work, I have to go back but keep putting it off as I don't want to face it. I have to go back tomorrow though otherwise I won't have a job to go back to but its such a struggle for me to get out of bed of a morning and to actually go and get ready and go to work. I'm just worried of how my co-workers are going to react when I go back because one of them has been keeping in touch while I have been away and she said that even though my boss has been good about, the workers keep saying that I should just get fired because I'm never there, its going to be hard for me to face them all. I know I have to go back otherwise I will be unemployed and my motivation being the way it is I know I will find it hard to land another job. I just don't know how to face it though. I'm probably worrying over nothing and when I go back it probably won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be but I still have it in my mind that everyone will hate me, but then I also hae the worry of getting there and not being motivated to actually do my job. I need help to try and get over this hurdle and to keep a routine so that I won't lose my job.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've lost all direction, don't have any hobbies, hardly any friends, don't feel my age, still feel like a lost kid

Hi Seahorse,

Welcome! -- This is a great place. (I'm pretty new here myself, and there's been so much kindness and support.)

I had a run of colds and flu last year, and had similar anxiety to you about my job. It was shortly after a move from the north to the south of England and I think mainly my body wasn't used to all the new types of bugs it was encountering. But I was also very low, and I don't think my reserves were high enough to fight them. If you're suffering from depression that might not be helping you much on the reserves front either. And then of course being ill so much can't be helping you to feel good -- vicious circle, isn't it? Can you take yourself to the doc and explain a bit how you feel? My doc checked me for immune system problems (which came back all ok) and put me on some anti-depressants to help me through the bad patch. All the colds and flu have stopped whacking me now.

Ed gave you really good advice about the small steps and lists. Don't forget to congratulate yourself when you do do something difficult too. -- I know you're probably focusing on the negatives with the going back to work stuff: just try to remember that you're doing something tricky for you at the moment, and maybe make a point of getting yourself a treat for supper on the way home as a bit of a reward.

Take care,
Rosie

Hi,

Welcome to Healing Well. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship ending. Depression can often cause people to be run down and physically ill and usually the illnesses are viral like what you have described. I rememebr when I was really depressed, I was getting ill non stop.
It would be good to speak to your doctor about how you are feeling and possibly think about an antidepressant to help you through this time. It won't take away all of your problems but it will definatley lift your mood and help you to cope.

I can understand your feelings about your job as ve had time off and worry what people are saying etc. I agree with els, it probably just gossipy people tht have othing better to do with their lives. If you go back to work, please try not to let this get to you or prevent you from going back. If your boss hasn't raise any issue about sick time then I wouldn't worry. You can't lose your job over it as it's discrimination.

Take care and I hope things get better for you soon

Victoria

I agree with "old-timer", get out of bed, get dressed, shower, brush your teeth, your hair.  I have so been where you are.  I went for a long time without taking care of myself, my home, my family.

i also agree that if you have a family physician, go see him. If you don't have health insurance, some local health departments offer help.

Hi seahorsemusic...you are probably better off without that job. Signing up with temp agencies is an excellent thought. Going to see your doctor is a very good idea too. Maybe you can get a temporary disability check, eh?

Hope you feel better. Yes, you must pull yourself out of bed and shower, etc. Get out of the house.

Can anybody help you out financially, relative-wise or friend-wise?

I am rooting for you.